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There is a term for this. It's called, "Passive-Censorship".Originally posted by cnredd:
Next time that you're in a group, I want you to test something out: start complaining — a lot.
Start complaining about the weather, your kids, your job. You name it, whine about it. Then see if people still stick around you. Or do they move? Do they wander?
I'm betting they move and wander — far.
Don't take it from me. Take it from a very nice mother I met Wednesday night at that book signing I did with Oliver North in Harrisburg, PA.
She told me she was a "recovering jerk."
When I asked her to explain, she said she had just stopped complaining. That she could see she was depressing her friends and pretty much all with whom she came in contact.
It took a co-worker to tell her, "Jeez, will you just shut up? You're depressing the hell out of me!"
She was stunned. So, she tells me, she has learned to just shut up.
Then she told me before she did shut up and move on that the carping, whining media — as she called it — should just shut up and move on too. That they're depressing folks just as much as she did, with the incessant drumbeat of bad stuff.
She got me thinking: We are what we hear, what we see and what we read.
And if all we hear is bad and see is bad and read is bad... well, we feel bad.
It's not rocket science and not an excuse to only report the good, but to recall the other thing this woman noticed at this gathering with colleagues.
The guy who was upbeat and funny drew a crowd. Most having just left another person... who drew only a scowl.
cnredd said:Then she told me before she did shut up and move on that the carping, whining media — as she called it — should just shut up and move on too. That they're depressing folks just as much as she did, with the incessant drumbeat of bad stuff.
[ . . . ]
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,171496,00.html
Good points, for sure. I try to surround myself with positive people too. There is a time to bitch and complain though. I try to limit it, but there is definitely room for it.Stinger said:One lesson in life I have always taught my children is to not hang out, at work or at leisure, with people who always complain, complain about everything and anything. Especially at work. Those people will never advance and they are only happy it they keep you back there with them. Hang out with positive people and you can do anything. Negative people are never successful only postive people are.
cnredd said:Next time that you're in a group, I want you to test something out: start complaining — a lot.
Start complaining about the weather, your kids, your job. You name it, whine about it. Then see if people still stick around you. Or do they move? Do they wander?
I'm betting they move and wander — far.
Don't take it from me. Take it from a very nice mother I met Wednesday night at that book signing I did with Oliver North in Harrisburg, PA.
She told me she was a "recovering jerk."
When I asked her to explain, she said she had just stopped complaining. That she could see she was depressing her friends and pretty much all with whom she came in contact.
It took a co-worker to tell her, "Jeez, will you just shut up? You're depressing the hell out of me!"
She was stunned. So, she tells me, she has learned to just shut up.
Then she told me before she did shut up and move on that the carping, whining media — as she called it — should just shut up and move on too. That they're depressing folks just as much as she did, with the incessant drumbeat of bad stuff.
She got me thinking: We are what we hear, what we see and what we read.
And if all we hear is bad and see is bad and read is bad... well, we feel bad.
It's not rocket science and not an excuse to only report the good, but to recall the other thing this woman noticed at this gathering with colleagues.
The guy who was upbeat and funny drew a crowd. Most having just left another person... who drew only a scowl.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,171496,00.html
Billo_Really said:There is a term for this. It's called, "Passive-Censorship".
Deegan said:That certainly explains the popularity of The Daily Show these days.
cnredd said:Next time that you're in a group, I want you to test something out: start complaining — a lot.
Start complaining about the weather, your kids, your job. You name it, whine about it. Then see if people still stick around you. Or do they move? Do they wander?
I'm betting they move and wander — far.
Don't take it from me. Take it from a very nice mother I met Wednesday night at that book signing I did with Oliver North in Harrisburg, PA.
She told me she was a "recovering jerk."
When I asked her to explain, she said she had just stopped complaining. That she could see she was depressing her friends and pretty much all with whom she came in contact.
It took a co-worker to tell her, "Jeez, will you just shut up? You're depressing the hell out of me!"
She was stunned. So, she tells me, she has learned to just shut up.
Then she told me before she did shut up and move on that the carping, whining media — as she called it — should just shut up and move on too. That they're depressing folks just as much as she did, with the incessant drumbeat of bad stuff.
She got me thinking: We are what we hear, what we see and what we read.
And if all we hear is bad and see is bad and read is bad... well, we feel bad.
It's not rocket science and not an excuse to only report the good, but to recall the other thing this woman noticed at this gathering with colleagues.
The guy who was upbeat and funny drew a crowd. Most having just left another person... who drew only a scowl.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,171496,00.html
cnredd said:Next time that you're in a group, I want you to test something out: start complaining — a lot.
Start complaining about the weather, your kids, your job. You name it, whine about it. Then see if people still stick around you. Or do they move? Do they wander?
I'm betting they move and wander — far.
Don't take it from me. Take it from a very nice mother I met Wednesday night at that book signing I did with Oliver North in Harrisburg, PA.
She told me she was a "recovering jerk."
When I asked her to explain, she said she had just stopped complaining. That she could see she was depressing her friends and pretty much all with whom she came in contact.
It took a co-worker to tell her, "Jeez, will you just shut up? You're depressing the hell out of me!"
She was stunned. So, she tells me, she has learned to just shut up.
Then she told me before she did shut up and move on that the carping, whining media — as she called it — should just shut up and move on too. That they're depressing folks just as much as she did, with the incessant drumbeat of bad stuff.
She got me thinking: We are what we hear, what we see and what we read.
And if all we hear is bad and see is bad and read is bad... well, we feel bad.
It's not rocket science and not an excuse to only report the good, but to recall the other thing this woman noticed at this gathering with colleagues.
The guy who was upbeat and funny drew a crowd. Most having just left another person... who drew only a scowl.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,171496,00.html
Hoot said:I try to follow the advice my mother gave me long ago...
"You'll learn more by listening, then you will by speaking, plus, you'll make more friends."
I am one of those people who never complains, but it comes from a couple things. One is spending most of your life cooped up in a house with a person who makes it their life's work to spread the word on how many other people and things have made her life a living hell. After that, you're damn sure nobody ever wants to hear your problems. And then, of course, I really have nothing to complain about. I am thoroughly satisfied with my lot in life and don't worry about things that are beyond my control. Try it, you'll have a lot less stressaps said:I definitely agree with part of this idea. It is depressing when someone complains about everything. I am such a good listener and validator of feelings that complainers are drawn to me. *sigh*
However, I will say that I don't like people who never complain (not that I think cnredd is saying to avoid all complainers). To me, it makes them not real and unpersonable. There is something about seeing the real side of people (as we all have our ups and downs) that I am drawn to. I have co-workers who have nothing but positive things to say about everything and everyone, and I find them totally boring. For me, it's not uplifting to be around them either.
Would anyone else agree that people who talk mostly about themselves are just as bad, if not worse, than those who complain all the time?
Deegan said:That certainly explains the popularity of The Daily Show these days.
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