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Message for some members of the forum

cnredd

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Next time that you're in a group, I want you to test something out: start complaining — a lot.

Start complaining about the weather, your kids, your job. You name it, whine about it. Then see if people still stick around you. Or do they move? Do they wander?

I'm betting they move and wander — far.

Don't take it from me. Take it from a very nice mother I met Wednesday night at that book signing I did with Oliver North in Harrisburg, PA.

She told me she was a "recovering jerk."

When I asked her to explain, she said she had just stopped complaining. That she could see she was depressing her friends and pretty much all with whom she came in contact.

It took a co-worker to tell her, "Jeez, will you just shut up? You're depressing the hell out of me!"

She was stunned. So, she tells me, she has learned to just shut up.

Then she told me before she did shut up and move on that the carping, whining media — as she called it — should just shut up and move on too. That they're depressing folks just as much as she did, with the incessant drumbeat of bad stuff.

She got me thinking: We are what we hear, what we see and what we read.

And if all we hear is bad and see is bad and read is bad... well, we feel bad.

It's not rocket science and not an excuse to only report the good, but to recall the other thing this woman noticed at this gathering with colleagues.

The guy who was upbeat and funny drew a crowd. Most having just left another person... who drew only a scowl.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,171496,00.html
 

FinnMacCool

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Maybe she should change to watch a different channel if it depresses her? Too bad her co workers didn't know how to shut her up.
 

Billo_Really

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Originally posted by cnredd:
Next time that you're in a group, I want you to test something out: start complaining — a lot.

Start complaining about the weather, your kids, your job. You name it, whine about it. Then see if people still stick around you. Or do they move? Do they wander?

I'm betting they move and wander — far.

Don't take it from me. Take it from a very nice mother I met Wednesday night at that book signing I did with Oliver North in Harrisburg, PA.

She told me she was a "recovering jerk."

When I asked her to explain, she said she had just stopped complaining. That she could see she was depressing her friends and pretty much all with whom she came in contact.

It took a co-worker to tell her, "Jeez, will you just shut up? You're depressing the hell out of me!"

She was stunned. So, she tells me, she has learned to just shut up.

Then she told me before she did shut up and move on that the carping, whining media — as she called it — should just shut up and move on too. That they're depressing folks just as much as she did, with the incessant drumbeat of bad stuff.

She got me thinking: We are what we hear, what we see and what we read.

And if all we hear is bad and see is bad and read is bad... well, we feel bad.

It's not rocket science and not an excuse to only report the good, but to recall the other thing this woman noticed at this gathering with colleagues.

The guy who was upbeat and funny drew a crowd. Most having just left another person... who drew only a scowl.
There is a term for this. It's called, "Passive-Censorship".
 

getinvolved

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I love when commercials for products like Zoloft follow the news, "Are you depressed, are you sad..." Well, yes after all of those stories I am. Not that I want news that leaves important stories out, but why is news always bad? Always negative? Is that what we want to see? Are Americans addicted to fear?

Foe me, bring on the good times and light conversations. I love a great politcal debate and a conversation about world issues as much as the next person. But I also love a good joke and a great laugh. I'll be on the opposite side of your test. I'll be the one having the good time, I'll wait for the people to come to me. :2wave:
 

Stinger

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One lesson in life I have always taught my children is to not hang out, at work or at leisure, with people who always complain, complain about everything and anything. Especially at work. Those people will never advance and they are only happy it they keep you back there with them. Hang out with positive people and you can do anything. Negative people are never successful only postive people are.
 

Grendel

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cnredd said:
Then she told me before she did shut up and move on that the carping, whining media — as she called it — should just shut up and move on too. That they're depressing folks just as much as she did, with the incessant drumbeat of bad stuff.

[ . . . ]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,171496,00.html
We have a news site complaing that people are reporting the news?
 

ShullsM

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Stinger said:
One lesson in life I have always taught my children is to not hang out, at work or at leisure, with people who always complain, complain about everything and anything. Especially at work. Those people will never advance and they are only happy it they keep you back there with them. Hang out with positive people and you can do anything. Negative people are never successful only postive people are.
Good points, for sure. I try to surround myself with positive people too. There is a time to bitch and complain though. I try to limit it, but there is definitely room for it.
 

Deegan

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That certainly explains the popularity of The Daily Show these days.;)
 

Fantasea

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You can't beat the lyrics in a '40s Johnny Mercer/Harold Arlen tune:

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium's
Liable to walk upon the scene

To illustrate my last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do just when everything looked so dark?

Man, they said "We'd better accentuate the positive"
"Eliminate the negative"
"And latch on to the affirmative"
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No! Don't mess with Mister In-Between

 

TimmyBoy

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cnredd said:
Next time that you're in a group, I want you to test something out: start complaining — a lot.

Start complaining about the weather, your kids, your job. You name it, whine about it. Then see if people still stick around you. Or do they move? Do they wander?

I'm betting they move and wander — far.

Don't take it from me. Take it from a very nice mother I met Wednesday night at that book signing I did with Oliver North in Harrisburg, PA.

She told me she was a "recovering jerk."

When I asked her to explain, she said she had just stopped complaining. That she could see she was depressing her friends and pretty much all with whom she came in contact.

It took a co-worker to tell her, "Jeez, will you just shut up? You're depressing the hell out of me!"

She was stunned. So, she tells me, she has learned to just shut up.

Then she told me before she did shut up and move on that the carping, whining media — as she called it — should just shut up and move on too. That they're depressing folks just as much as she did, with the incessant drumbeat of bad stuff.

She got me thinking: We are what we hear, what we see and what we read.

And if all we hear is bad and see is bad and read is bad... well, we feel bad.

It's not rocket science and not an excuse to only report the good, but to recall the other thing this woman noticed at this gathering with colleagues.

The guy who was upbeat and funny drew a crowd. Most having just left another person... who drew only a scowl.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,171496,00.html
Don't be part of the group, be a real man, you're own man, make your own decisions and don't go with the crowd and tell the truth of the way things really are. Telling truth, maintaining your integrity, might be mistaken for bitching. But the truth hurts and nobody wants to deal, hear or listen to the truth. It's still better to deal with reality and then make it better rather than pretending reality doesn't exist. But you will never get the truth from Fox News or CNN, they are both part of the thought police.
 

TimmyBoy

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Billo_Really said:
There is a term for this. It's called, "Passive-Censorship".
Here is a definition of passive censorship:

Passive censorship, censorship achieved by simply denying the power of the microphone to those whose message is not wanted by the establishment, is one of the most insidious and dangerous types that exist.
 

Kandahar

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Deegan said:
That certainly explains the popularity of The Daily Show these days.;)
When Jon Stewart levels complaints against the Bush Administration, they are always cloaked in good humor and bemused cynicism rather than outrage. I think that's exactly the point here...you can disagree without constantly whining.
 

mixedmedia

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cnredd said:
Next time that you're in a group, I want you to test something out: start complaining — a lot.

Start complaining about the weather, your kids, your job. You name it, whine about it. Then see if people still stick around you. Or do they move? Do they wander?

I'm betting they move and wander — far.

Don't take it from me. Take it from a very nice mother I met Wednesday night at that book signing I did with Oliver North in Harrisburg, PA.

She told me she was a "recovering jerk."

When I asked her to explain, she said she had just stopped complaining. That she could see she was depressing her friends and pretty much all with whom she came in contact.

It took a co-worker to tell her, "Jeez, will you just shut up? You're depressing the hell out of me!"

She was stunned. So, she tells me, she has learned to just shut up.

Then she told me before she did shut up and move on that the carping, whining media — as she called it — should just shut up and move on too. That they're depressing folks just as much as she did, with the incessant drumbeat of bad stuff.

She got me thinking: We are what we hear, what we see and what we read.

And if all we hear is bad and see is bad and read is bad... well, we feel bad.

It's not rocket science and not an excuse to only report the good, but to recall the other thing this woman noticed at this gathering with colleagues.

The guy who was upbeat and funny drew a crowd. Most having just left another person... who drew only a scowl.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,171496,00.html
Leave it to Fox News. I wouldn't be surprised if Rupert Murdoch wrote that copy himself.

There's a difference between being a jerk who complains all the time and having concerns about the world during wartime. Myself, I have found that the people who complain the most - I mean that knee-jerk, perpetual, nothing is ever done right kind of complaining (we all know some of them, right?) - usually complain about everything BUT politics or current events. Their problems are usually very insular and petty, relatively speaking. And, yes, they drive me crazy.

I much prefer to laugh and have a good time, too.
 

aps

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cnredd said:
Next time that you're in a group, I want you to test something out: start complaining — a lot.

Start complaining about the weather, your kids, your job. You name it, whine about it. Then see if people still stick around you. Or do they move? Do they wander?

I'm betting they move and wander — far.

Don't take it from me. Take it from a very nice mother I met Wednesday night at that book signing I did with Oliver North in Harrisburg, PA.

She told me she was a "recovering jerk."

When I asked her to explain, she said she had just stopped complaining. That she could see she was depressing her friends and pretty much all with whom she came in contact.

It took a co-worker to tell her, "Jeez, will you just shut up? You're depressing the hell out of me!"

She was stunned. So, she tells me, she has learned to just shut up.

Then she told me before she did shut up and move on that the carping, whining media — as she called it — should just shut up and move on too. That they're depressing folks just as much as she did, with the incessant drumbeat of bad stuff.

She got me thinking: We are what we hear, what we see and what we read.

And if all we hear is bad and see is bad and read is bad... well, we feel bad.

It's not rocket science and not an excuse to only report the good, but to recall the other thing this woman noticed at this gathering with colleagues.

The guy who was upbeat and funny drew a crowd. Most having just left another person... who drew only a scowl.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,171496,00.html
I definitely agree with part of this idea. It is depressing when someone complains about everything. I am such a good listener and validator of feelings that complainers are drawn to me. *sigh*

However, I will say that I don't like people who never complain (not that I think cnredd is saying to avoid all complainers). To me, it makes them not real and unpersonable. There is something about seeing the real side of people (as we all have our ups and downs) that I am drawn to. I have co-workers who have nothing but positive things to say about everything and everyone, and I find them totally boring. For me, it's not uplifting to be around them either.

Would anyone else agree that people who talk mostly about themselves are just as bad, if not worse, than those who complain all the time?
 

Hoot

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I try to follow the advice my mother gave me long ago...

"You'll learn more by listening, then you will by speaking, plus, you'll make more friends."
 

aps

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Hoot said:
I try to follow the advice my mother gave me long ago...

"You'll learn more by listening, then you will by speaking, plus, you'll make more friends."
Love that advice.
 

Tashah

wʜɪтe яussɪaи
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We can do the innuendo
We can dance and sing
When it’s said and done we haven’t told you a thing
We all know that crap is king
Give us dirty laundry!

Dirty Laundry ~ Don Henley



 

hiker

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aps said:
I definitely agree with part of this idea. It is depressing when someone complains about everything. I am such a good listener and validator of feelings that complainers are drawn to me. *sigh*

However, I will say that I don't like people who never complain (not that I think cnredd is saying to avoid all complainers). To me, it makes them not real and unpersonable. There is something about seeing the real side of people (as we all have our ups and downs) that I am drawn to. I have co-workers who have nothing but positive things to say about everything and everyone, and I find them totally boring. For me, it's not uplifting to be around them either.

Would anyone else agree that people who talk mostly about themselves are just as bad, if not worse, than those who complain all the time?
I am one of those people who never complains, but it comes from a couple things. One is spending most of your life cooped up in a house with a person who makes it their life's work to spread the word on how many other people and things have made her life a living hell. After that, you're damn sure nobody ever wants to hear your problems. And then, of course, I really have nothing to complain about. I am thoroughly satisfied with my lot in life and don't worry about things that are beyond my control. Try it, you'll have a lot less stress;)
 

SouthernDemocrat

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I work as a Systems Administrator. I like what I do. I mean I guess my first choice for a job would be a Fishing or Wilderness Guide, but as far as real world jobs go, I like my work a lot. That said, my job can be very, very, very stressful at times. In fact, I have read more than once that working as a Systems Administrator or DBA, is one of the top ten most stressful jobs to have. The thing is though, even on the worst days, I really try to make it a point to never complain about my work when I get home. Bitching is a habit. No doubt about it and it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy too. Everyone has it bad sometimes. The point is the less you bitch about life, the happier your life will be.
 
H

hipsterdufus

Deegan said:
That certainly explains the popularity of The Daily Show these days.;)
and Colbert, Franken, Stephanie Miller, Maher, Olbermann etc.

the truth - with jokes.
 
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