Men are not complicated -- do you agree?

[SarahSun]

I'm a pretty simple man. All I want is exclusivity respect and love I . At least that's what I would like to believe but the truth is I have a type, I passed on many people to find the right one. Many are acceptable only few are exceptional. You have to make compromises. External beauty compared to internal beauty. Ability to care for ones self, how much of a slob they are and how much you can tolerate.

Generally speaking men are simple. This is a general guideline. Physical contact, not just sex affirms love. Most men want to be seen as competent virulent and strong. There is nuance to this meaning different kinds of strength for example.

So if you are single and looking for men keep these things in mind if you find one you want more with. And if course everything is a give and take if he doesn't give you what you need break that off it will become toxic.

One caveat. Some men... May not know what you need, don't be afraid to tell them if they try to meet your needs it might be worth keeping them around to try but only if they are worth it.

Women and men aren't really that complicated communicating beyond our insecurities is complicated. Showing our vulnerabilities, and weaknesses is complicated, sometimes accepting them is complicated.

Accepting them in others is far more easy. Makes you feel trusted and special when they share them with you.

Sorry to go all long winded.

No need to be sorry. Its a very thoughtful post. I know i have insecurities. I always worry am i good enough and because of that i try to please a man too much, if that makes sense.

 

[SarahSun]

I'm betting he had some issue with himself that made him feel insecure. Maybe he didn't feel he could keep up with you.

I would like to think that was the case, and maybe it was. It was my only really serious relationship. It lasted a bit more than 2 years. Im still young so maybe i will just relax and just have fun. Alot of my girlfriends are still unmarried so we can get out and just enjoy having fun.

 

[CLAX1911]

No need to be sorry. Its a very thoughtful post. I know i have insecurities. I always worry am i good enough and because of that i try to please a man too much, if that makes sense.

Makes perfect sense. I tend to be a people pleaser in my relationships as well.

It's great to recognize those things in yourself and that will help you in the future but the complications come when the other person has them. Men are generally speaking stoic. It is an attractive quality but it cuts against them too.

It's there in all of us but sorting through it is worth it. That's why people say relationships are work.

 

[SarahSun]

Makes perfect sense. I tend to be a people pleaser in my relationships as well.

It's great to recognize those things in yourself and that will help you in the future but the complications come when the other person has them. Men are generally speaking stoic. It is an attractive quality but it cuts against them too.

It's there in all of us but sorting through it is worth it. That's why people say relationships are work.

I dont want to get into my life history but a big stresser to me is my mom. Im the first to admit im far from perfect and i got into trouble more than once as a teen. My mom never misses a chance to let me know how perfect my 2 older sisters are. I cant be them but she doesnt get it. So i try to be what my mom wants me to be and at the same time im trying like heck to be what a man wants me to be while all the time ive lost what i want to be. I just want to be loved. Sorry for the rant.

 

[CLAX1911]

I would like to think that was the case, and maybe it was. It was my only really serious relationship. It lasted a bit more than 2 years. Im still young so maybe i will just relax and just have fun. Alot of my girlfriends are still unmarried so we can get out and just enjoy having fun.

Well two years maybe there was something else up. Sometimes people just aren't compatible. It's a shame we sometimes have to wait until feelings develop to figure that out.

I'm probably older than you, late 30s finding my love was completely unexpected, not my typical type and difficult in the beginning.

Friends help.

 

[SarahSun]

Well two years maybe there was something else up. Sometimes people just aren't compatible. It's a shame we sometimes have to wait until feelings develop to figure that out.

I'm probably older than you, late 30s finding my love was completely unexpected, not my typical type and difficult in the beginning.

Friends help.

If you dont mind me asking, how did you find your love? I think she is very lucky by the way. Im 24 so i still have time.

 

[CLAX1911]

I dont want to get into my life history but a big stresser to me is my mom. Im the first to admit im far from perfect and i got into trouble more than once as a teen. My mom never misses a chance to let me know how perfect my 2 older sisters are. I cant be them but she doesnt get it. So i try to be what my mom wants me to be and at the same time im trying like heck to be what a man wants me to be while all the time ive lost what i want to be. I just want to be loved. Sorry for the rant.

Well I can relate. I'm the youngest of 3 brothers and one sister and I had to tell my mom and dad that I have to make myself happy. What made me happy wasn't in their plans for me.

It's a hard thing to do but there is a point in life you have to ask them don't you want me to be happy.

 

[SarahSun]

Well I can relate. I'm the youngest of 3 brothers and one sister and I had to tell my mom and dad that I have to make myself happy. What made me happy wasn't in their plans for me.

It's a hard thing to do but there is a point in life you have to ask them don't you want me to be happy.

Very good advice. It would be nice to get some approval from my mom. Ive actually come a long way. Sadly, a wall had developed between us. It would be so nice to have her hug me and just say, i love you sarah and i said the same to her. I think getting this off my mind has actually helped me tonight. Thank you so much. Im going to find a way to sort this out!!

 

[CLAX1911]

If you dont mind me asking, how did you find your love? I think she is very lucky by the way. Im 24 so i still have time.

I don't mind at all.

I was 28 at a restaurant with some friends and we had this young waiter and he was just a screw up. He got things wrong he forgot things he came to our table without remembering why. And at the last minute he dumped a tray of drinks all over me and my friends wife sitting next to me. I stood up I try to be courteous and understanding to waitstaff and as I looked at him. His eyes started welling up with tears. He was such a bad waiter for us because he had the hots for me... Lol. I told him it was okay. Sat back down and everybody at the table figured it out before I did. He was a bit younger than I would normally go for, 19 at the time. But I'm glad I did. We committed to each other about two years after that and got officially married in October of 2015.

It was hard he was a mess, I was a jack ass and a slob but we made each other better.

I consider myself the lucky one.

Yeah you still have time. I had been in a relationship before for some time.

I know it's a bit of a cliche but it can blind side you sometimes in the last place you expect with someone you never dreamed of?

 

[SarahSun]

I don't mind at all.

I was 28 at a restaurant with some friends and we had this young waiter and he was just a screw up. He got things wrong he forgot things he came to our table without remembering why. And at the last minute he dumped a tray of drinks all over me and my friends wife sitting next to me. I stood up I try to be courteous and understanding to waitstaff and as I looked at him. His eyes started welling up with tears. He was such a bad waiter for us because he had the hots for me... Lol. I told him it was okay. Sat back down and everybody at the table figured it out before I did. He was a bit younger than I would normally go for, 19 at the time. But I'm glad I did. We committed to each other about two years after that and got officially married in October of 2015.

It was hard he was a mess, I was a jack ass and a slob but we made each other better.

I consider myself the lucky one.

Yeah you still have time. I had been in a relationship before for some time.

I know it's a bit of a cliche but it can blind side you sometimes in the last place you expect with someone you never dreamed of?

Thats awesome!! im going to bed now. You have kept me up past my 11pm work night curfew, lol. Its helped me alot. See you tomorrow.

 

[CLAX1911]

Very good advice. It would be nice to get some approval from my mom. Ive actually come a long way. Sadly, a wall had developed between us. It would be so nice to have her hug me and just say, i love you sarah and i said the same to her. I think getting this off my mind has actually helped me tonight. Thank you so much. Im going to find a way to sort this out!!

Once I told my parents I was attracted to men there was a wall that went up. Not a hard and fast one but it has almost completely come down.

It helps to talk about it. And I'm glad I could help.

Just be prepared for the worst it probably won't happen but when it doesn't you'll be relieved.

I wish you the best.

 

[CLAX1911]

Thats awesome!! im going to bed now. You have kept me up past my 11pm work night curfew, lol. Its helped me alot. See you tomorrow.

Indeed good nite.

TTYL

 

[Checkerboard Strangler]

Very good advice. It would be nice to get some approval from my mom. Ive actually come a long way. Sadly, a wall had developed between us. It would be so nice to have her hug me and just say, i love you sarah and i said the same to her. I think getting this off my mind has actually helped me tonight. Thank you so much. Im going to find a way to sort this out!!

You better give up on that.
If it's that much work it's not going to be real.
When even the hard stuff seems easy or at least easy to understand, that is when you know it's real.
Applies to all relationships.

 

[SarahSun]

You better give up on that.
If it's that much work it's not going to be real.
When even the hard stuff seems easy or at least easy to understand, that is when you know it's real.
Applies to all relationships.

Thanks, relationships are indeed hard

 

[Checkerboard Strangler]

Thanks, relationships are indeed hard

No, actually they're not unless it's the wrong relationship.
That's what I was getting at:
If stuff is that hard...if every single aspect of a relationship is difficult to the point of exhaustion and ennui, it begs the question as to whether it's even a good match.

Of course there's always exceptions to everything, like if for instance, both partners thrive on drama.

 

[Patriotic Voter]

Do you agree with this?

Would you change anything about it? Add to it?

I can't see a picture. What is the text?

 

[SarahSun]

No, actually they're not unless it's the wrong relationship.

Well said

 

[Josie]

I can't see a picture. What is the text?

I don't remember. This was from last year.