Korimyr the Rat said:
I do not think her moral obligation to her husband or to their marriage is strong enough to override her right to decide whether or not she will carry the child. If the father wishes to have any parental rights in regard to her children-- whether they are sired by him or not-- he should have to reach an agreement with her, either by registering a custody agreement or by marrying her.
In regards to having any say so in child birth within a marriage, I believe that marrying the woman IS an agreement and makes that decision of whether to have a child or not BOTH the husband and wife's decision.
In regards to a woman having sole decision-making authority on whether to carry the child or to abort the child, I have often wondered if it is 'smart' to make legislation declaring only SHE gets to have any say. The reason I am thinking along this line in this case is my concern of the emotional and psychological stae of the woman/girl having to make that decision alone. When a girl/woman finds out she is pregnant, she is suddenly faced with a life-altering, monumental decision and change. She is faced with the idea of not only going through 9 months of carrying the child, not only the changes in her life and future, not only the implications/changes that will affect the husband/father, but also the idea of carrying and caring for another tiny human being for the rest of her life. Those are some pretty heavy ideas/decisions to chew on. These sudden realities/choices are flying through her head, her emotions are off the chart trying to sort through it all, the hormones are flying....and we are telling a woman in the midst of all this that it is up to her to make a sound, responsible, well-grounded decision ALONE? I am not saying that ALL women go psycho and are incapable of making a logical, SANE decision, but that HAS to be incredibly difficult.
From personal experience, I have talked to several women who have had abortions who have said they wished they hadn't kept them a secret, had confided in the father, had confided in their parents (mother, for a few), had someone to talk to and help them through, and even 1 or two who have said they made the wrong decision and wished they could go back and change that decision.
Going from 1 extreme to the other, to jump back to the point about 'Who is forcing Who', I also have known 2 seperate guys over the years who were entrapped by girls (I say girls because in both cases the girls were immature but wanted their respective guy as their husband) who got pregnant in order to get the guys to marry them. Granted, the guys could have walked away and probably been forced by the courts to pay child support for the rest of their days, but they stepped up and did the 'right' thing by marrying the girls and taking care of the kids. In each case, the guy had no intention or desire to get the girl pregnant....but were still stupid enough NOT to use protection - which was their only real choice in the process. Once the girls were pregnant, they pretty much started forcing their will on the guys - the desire to get married. In the marriage that did not work, the guy (thought he) was too young, his whole life ahead of him, and did not want to be a father. Yes, he could have changed that by wearing protection, but he did not - once the girl was pregnant, his choices pretty much ended. Even if he had walked away, the girl could have FORCED him to become financially responsible for the child.
Therein lies the problem - it is the WOMAN who holds all the rights to having any say (a choice) in all 3 (THREE - mother, father, and baby) lives
once she becomes pregnant.
I also have a problem with the courts and assigning guardianship of children to one parent or another in a divorce, which is majorly in the woman's favor. I know a buddy in the military whose ex began fooling around on him and doing drugs while he was away. He came home to catch her in an affair, having the guy in their home/bed with the kids there in the house, and strung out on drugs. They got a divorce, but the female judge awarded the kids to the mother (citing a maternal connection and stronger need for a 'mother's love' :shock: ) as well as alimony and child support. EXCUSE ME?! :doh But THAT is best left for some other thread, different topic!