Loss. Life's greatest lesson.

[MaggieD]

Few people "get it" until they have experienced a devastating loss. It could be the death of a loved one...divorce...poor health...business failure...an irrevocable decision...even loss of a job.

A monumental loss knocks the pins right out from under you. Everything you thought you knew about life - about yourself - about who you really are? Dissolves. Crumbles around you.

What you do after that devastating loss defines who you are as a person for the rest of your life.

Have you learned the lesson? What was your loss? How long did it take you to recover?

 

[nota bene]

Yes, in the twinkling of an eye, everything you ever thought you understood about life...about yourself...about how the universe itself works is gone forever. I don't know how someone without some sort of faith survives the most devastating of losses.

 

[GottaGo]

Few people "get it" until they have experienced a devastating loss. It could be the death of a loved one...divorce...poor health...business failure...an irrevocable decision...even loss of a job.

A monumental loss knocks the pins right out from under you. Everything you thought you knew about life - about yourself - about who you really are? Dissolves. Crumbles around you.

What you do after that devastating loss defines who you are as a person for the rest of your life.

Have you learned the lesson? What was your loss? How long did it take you to recover?

I lost my Mom at 25, she was just 57. Diagnosed terminal in late February, gone May 2nd. I didn't think my world would change so drastically in such a short period of time.

For weeks afterward, my head and heart just whorled, pretty much stumbling through life. Then I started coming to terms with it, and began realizing that I survived it, that I had the strength to withstand monumental change in my life.

It gave me the strength to walk away from an abusive marriage 6 months later.

 

[MaggieD]

I lost my Mom at 25, she was just 57. Diagnosed terminal in late February, gone May 2nd. I didn't think my world would change so drastically in such a short period of time.

For weeks afterward, my head and heart just whorled, pretty much stumbling through life. Then I started coming to terms with it, and began realizing that I survived it, that I had the strength to withstand monumental change in my life.

It gave me the strength to walk away from an abusive marriage 6 months later.

That's the gift of loss. Strength. *hugs*

 

[Medusa]

Few people "get it" until they have experienced a devastating loss. It could be the death of a loved one...divorce...poor health...business failure...an irrevocable decision...even loss of a job.

A monumental loss knocks the pins right out from under you. Everything you thought you knew about life - about yourself - about who you really are? Dissolves. Crumbles around you.

What you do after that devastating loss defines who you are as a person for the rest of your life.

Have you learned the lesson? What was your loss? How long did it take you to recover?

l dont think l can forget my angels (grandparents and uncle,who was my best friend

but l accepted the fact that they are not here anymore in time

experiences make you realize that this life is too short to hate the others for no reason

 

[nota bene]

Surviving an astonishing loss--an impossible loss--will either destroy you or, if you survive without becoming a bitter asshole, strengthen you and give you the gift of compassion for others.

 

[shlunka]

Lost my first cousin to suicide. That was several years ago, I still have nights where I think about it endlessly. Two years ago lost my grandfather to cancer, very quaint fellow, a genuine mountain man who gave away his moonshine for free. My fondest memory of him, he was 83 and had one leg amputated below the knee. He was 18ft in the air on his roof, shoveling 20" of snow off and refused any assistance.

 

[MaggieD]

Lost my first cousin to suicide. That was several years ago, I still have nights where I think about it endlessly. Two years ago lost my grandfather to cancer, very quaint fellow, a genuine mountain man who gave away his moonshine for free. My fondest memory of him, he was 83 and had one leg amputated below the knee. He was 18ft in the air on his roof, shoveling 20" of snow off and refused any assistance.

These are your biggest losses. So far. There will be more. And they will be more devastating. You'll see the difference some day. *hugs*

 

[GottaGo]

Yes, in the twinkling of an eye, everything you ever thought you understood about life...about yourself...about how the universe itself works is gone forever. I don't know how someone without some sort of faith survives the most devastating of losses.

I am pretty much agnostic, though my Mom was a non-practicing Christian. It was for her that I wished Heaven existed since that was her belief, not to console myself in that belief.

 

[wolfie]

I lost my Mom at 25, she was just 57. Diagnosed terminal in late February, gone May 2nd. I didn't think my world would change so drastically in such a short period of time.

For weeks afterward, my head and heart just whorled, pretty much stumbling through life. Then I started coming to terms with it, and began realizing that I survived it, that I had the strength to withstand monumental change in my life.

It gave me the strength to walk away from an abusive marriage 6 months later.

Well they say what don't kill you makes you stronger...And when a big loss occurs in your life, it makes you suddenly realise how meaningless other things are..You re-evaluate yourself...

 

[sawyerloggingon]

I'm not going to go into detail on all my losses in here but in the long run they made me a better person and in a way I am glad they happened. There is one exception though. There is nothing to be learned from crib death other than s*** happens, horrible s***.

 

[Gipper]

I've only lost one person that's really messed me up. Doesn't help that I'm an emotional stone.

 

[Crosscheck]

Two years ago lost my grandfather to cancer, very quaint fellow, a genuine mountain man who gave away his moonshine for free. My fondest memory of him, he was 83 and had one leg amputated below the knee. He was 18ft in the air on his roof, shoveling 20" of snow off and refused any assistance.

There are people who are beyond tough as nails. In the medical profession I see patient who whine and complain if the exam table paper sticks to them. Then there are those patients who woule lie still without a complaint and let you cut open their chest without anesthesia.

 

[ChuckBerry]

 

[rhinefire]

Good/Bad,Loss/Gain it is the balance of life. Grief/Joy, hopefully we know them both and distribute their weight for our benefit. Horror should never touch us but it does have it's days.
Part of being strong is being level headed and by this i mean when we are are subjected to grief we have no choice but to know it comes to everyone at times in their lives and you must pass it like all things. Falling is easy, getting up can be hard but we do.

 

[TheGirlNextDoor]

Few people "get it" until they have experienced a devastating loss. It could be the death of a loved one...divorce...poor health...business failure...an irrevocable decision...even loss of a job.

A monumental loss knocks the pins right out from under you. Everything you thought you knew about life - about yourself - about who you really are? Dissolves. Crumbles around you.

What you do after that devastating loss defines who you are as a person for the rest of your life.

Have you learned the lesson? What was your loss? How long did it take you to recover?

I've had two. Divorce and something close to it.

Everything I thought I knew about love, commitment, compassion....gone.

The first was horrible enough. The second, about did me in for good. Talk about not being able to function and feeling worthless and unlovable.

How can a person not let that affect them later in life? People call that baggage. I call it life.

If people don't have "baggage" they haven't lived. It's not always pleasant, god knows.

If it were not for my kids? Not sure.

My life is a work in progress. It's not always sunshine and waterfalls, but either for stubbornness (sp ) or self torture, I'll keep moving forward and see what happens.

 

[SmokeAndMirrors]

Few people "get it" until they have experienced a devastating loss. It could be the death of a loved one...divorce...poor health...business failure...an irrevocable decision...even loss of a job.

A monumental loss knocks the pins right out from under you. Everything you thought you knew about life - about yourself - about who you really are? Dissolves. Crumbles around you.

What you do after that devastating loss defines who you are as a person for the rest of your life.

Have you learned the lesson? What was your loss? How long did it take you to recover?

I've had a few. The things I've learned? A lot. Too many for me to take in at once; that's still a work in progress, and may it forevermore be so.

1. That I'm tougher than I think I am. A lot tougher.

2. That I can and must control who I want to be. There's no excuses for being a crappy person. It's not anyone else's fault, I am not a victim of circumstance, and I am never absolved of responsibility for my actions and their impact. I'm a grown-ass woman, and I have to look at myself in the mirror every day.

3. That people are complex, and most are fundamentally good -- even the ones with hurtful and destructive personalities. They deserve our empathy and even our forgiveness, if not necessarily our time. They might deserve our compassion, but we also have to protect ourselves. Keeping those two things in mind simultaneously is really hard.

4. The loss itself may be senseless, but that doesn't mean you can't take something positive away from it.

5. Fake it 'til you make it. I won't pretend I don't sometimes get cynical, but the best cure for that is refusing to let your life revolve around it. You'll get it back. You don't need to lose your spark of compassion.

6. I wouldn't be even half the writer I am if I hadn't done practically everything the hard way. Since that's the only thing I'm good at, I better make it count. I try my best.

 

[humbolt]

For those who have children, remember, how you handle your losses is a lesson to your children when they lose you.

 

[polgara]

For those who have children, remember, how you handle your losses is a lesson to your children when they lose you.

Very well said! :agree: :thumbs:

Good morning, humbolt. :2wave:

 

[humbolt]

Very well said! :agree: :thumbs:

Good morning, humbolt. :2wave:

Good Morning, and thanks. The NFL is taking my life over this afternoon. I don't handle those losses very well at all.

 

[polgara]

Good Morning, and thanks. The NFL is taking my life over this afternoon. I don't handle those losses very well at all.

I hear that, but all you have to do is pick every winner! What's so hard about that? :lamo:

 

[humbolt]

I hear that, but all you have to do is pick every winner! What's so hard about that? :lamo:

Heh. I'm a hapless Pittsburgh fan, and nobody really knows what they're actually going to look like this year, but the consensus is "not that good". Tomlin inherited a very good team which performed at a high level for a number of years. With some of those original guys gone now, this is Tomlin's first true test with unproven players. Naturally, I prefer that every other team lose everything all the time. What could go wrong with such a preference?

 

[polgara]

Heh. I'm a hapless Pittsburgh fan, and nobody really knows what they're actually going to look like this year, but the consensus is "not that good". Tomlin inherited a very good team which performed at a high level for a number of years. With some of those original guys gone now, this is Tomlin's first true test with unproven players. Naturally, I prefer that every other team lose everything all the time. What could go wrong with such a preference?

Nice surprises are always welcomed! :thumbs:

 

[CanadaJohn]

Few people "get it" until they have experienced a devastating loss. It could be the death of a loved one...divorce...poor health...business failure...an irrevocable decision...even loss of a job.

A monumental loss knocks the pins right out from under you. Everything you thought you knew about life - about yourself - about who you really are? Dissolves. Crumbles around you.

What you do after that devastating loss defines who you are as a person for the rest of your life.

Have you learned the lesson? What was your loss? How long did it take you to recover?

You're in a very reflective, somber mood today - my thoughts are with you.

 

[MaggieD]

You're in a very reflective, somber mood today - my thoughts are with you.

Thanks for the good thoughts. I was actually thinking about how strong I've become -- and the journey that led me there.