Light bulb (1 Viewer)

[Inuyasha]

How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten:
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;

4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness;

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner "Bulb Accomplished '';

7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally "in the dark" the whole time;

8. One to viciously smear No. 7;

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;

10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

 

[Billo_Really]

Beautiful. Good one.

 

[Inuyasha]

One of my kids told me the other day that Bush is far more sexually active than Clinton ever was. Clinton screwed one intern and Bush is screwing 270 million Americans.

 

[Billo_Really]

Originally posted by Inuyasha
One of my kids told me the other day that Bush is far more sexually active than Clinton ever was. Clinton screwed one intern and Bush is screwing 270 million Americans.

And Hitler was the most monogamous of all the world leaders at that time.

 

[KCConservative]

One of my kids told me the other day that Bush is far more sexually active than Clinton ever was. Clinton screwed one intern and Bush is screwing 270 million Americans.

Your kids must make you so proud.

 

[Inuyasha]

I see you are a die hard Bush fan. With no sense of humor ...unless it's Clinton maybe. Good for you... I guess.

 

[mixedmedia]

Your kids must make you so proud.

I'd be proud. Wit is a highly valued commodity in our home, too.

 

[Stace]

I'd be proud. Wit is a highly valued commodity in our home, too.

And intelligence

 

[mixedmedia]

And intelligence

Well, with true wit, that is assumed.....and my children are very witty. Of course, I could be biased.

 

[Stace]

Well, with true wit, that is assumed.....and my children are very witty. Of course, I could be biased.

Well, I'd have to say that if we were going just off of the screwing comment, that at least one of your daughters is extremely witty......gee, wonder where they get it from though? :lol:

 

[mixedmedia]

Well, I'd have to say that if we were going just off of the screwing comment, that at least one of your daughters is extremely witty......gee, wonder where they get it from though? :lol:

But the screwing comment - that was Inuyasha's moment of pride!

Still, I have worked very hard to instill my own values in my kids - 1) perverse humor; 2) the confidence to speak their minds; 3) an appreciation of literature and the arts; 4) unapologetic liberalism; 5) kindness and compassion towards others. Not necessarily in that order. Overall its been a very successful endeavor....but then the six-year-old's still got a ways to go. :lol:

 

[Donkey1499]

How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten:
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;

4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness;

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner "Bulb Accomplished '';

7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally "in the dark" the whole time;

8. One to viciously smear No. 7;

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;

10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

Clever............... Not exactly "rofl" material. But worthy enough for that Jon Stewart show on CC.

 

[Donkey1499]

But the screwing comment - that was Inuyasha's moment of pride!

Still, I have worked very hard to instill my own values in my kids - 1) perverse humor; 2) the confidence to speak their minds; 3) an appreciation of literature and the arts; 4) unapologetic liberalism; 5) kindness and compassion towards others. Not necessarily in that order. Overall its been a very successful endeavor....but then the six-year-old's still got a ways to go. :lol:

Instilling? Like forcing? I'd let my kids form their own opinions and agendas first. If my kid wanted to be a flaming left winger, then fine. He ain't eating under the same roof as me..... J/K!!!! LOL

 

[mixedmedia]

Instilling? Like forcing? I'd let my kids form their own opinions and agendas first. If my kid wanted to be a flaming left winger, then fine. He ain't eating under the same roof as me..... J/K!!!! LOL

No, like teaching.....you jackass. :lol:

And I can't even count on my fingers and toes how many times my children have hugged me and thanked me for the way I brought them up. So there.

 

[Inuyasha]

Instilling? Like forcing? I'd let my kids form their own opinions and agendas first. If my kid wanted to be a flaming left winger, then fine. He ain't eating under the same roof as me..... J/K!!!! LOL

My kids were all born in Spain under Franco. Two of them are still die hard "Franquistas". I am not but they can eat under my roof. Thery are my kids for better or for worse. And you thought you were a right winger.:lol:

 

[Donkey1499]

No, like teaching.....you jackass. :lol:

And I can't even count on my fingers and toes how many times my children have hugged me and thanked me for the way I brought them up. So there.

Jackass?!?! Be that way, jumbledpress! lol

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/instilling

Hmmm..... To put into one's mind, perhaps? I instill my knife into a pork chop. (Mmmmm... pork chops). But oh well.

"The road goes ever ever on" - Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit

 

[Donkey1499]

My kids were all born in Spain under Franco. Two of them are still die hard "Franquistas". I am not but they can eat under my roof. Thery are my kids for better or for worse. And you thought you were a right winger.:lol:

So, let me get this straight. You have two Spanish goats that liked Franco? How do you know? Can you speak goatish?

 

[mixedmedia]

Jackass?!?! Be that way, jumbledpress! lol

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/instilling

Hmmm..... To put into one's mind, perhaps? I instill my knife into a pork chop. (Mmmmm... pork chops). But oh well.

"The road goes ever ever on" - Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit

2 : to impart gradually <instilling a love of learning in children>

yes, like this, exactly.....

......and now you think you're gonna get on my good side by quoting Tolkien, eh?

hmph.

 

[Donkey1499]

yes, like this, exactly.....

......and now you think you're gonna get on my good side by quoting Tolkien, eh?

hmph.

Tolkien kicks ass! Not mine or any other mule's, but still.

 

[goligoth]

Tolkien kicks ***! Not mine or any other mule's, but still.

Didn't tolkein die though?....if that's the case then tolkein kicked ***....let's not confuse the issue of the lightbulb over a simple tense change.....

 

[FinnMacCool]

My kids were all born in Spain under Franco. Two of them are still die hard "Franquistas". I am not but they can eat under my roof. Thery are my kids for better or for worse. And you thought you were a right winger.:lol:

Franco eh? I have to admit thats a surprise. The Spanish Revolution has always had a romantic appeal to me for the Republican side. Specificially because Uncle Orwell fought against the fascists and the anarchists sprang up an idealist community for a very short timeand how the Irish republicans went over there to help out along with Emily Goldman from America etc. I wrote a short story about the Spanish Revolution that I'll share one day maybe. God damn I feel so depressed now.