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Life's tough for Labour, not that you'd care...

MickB

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Feb 25, 2007
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JOHNATHAN LEFTWINGER MP TALKS THE WALK AND WALKS THE TALK...
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"So why do Labour rig the occasional election?

Well, we spend all this time going door to door and requesting the Public vote Labour. After all, it's about the only real work they do for us.

However, despite the doorstep visits, helping fill out the postal vote forms, waiting on them hand and foot and giving 'em lifts to the polling booth, they don't always return our hospitality by simply putting their cross in our box. I know, I've watched 'em! Saw them through a hole in the ceiling. Least I could do.

I mean, it doesn't take much effort. It doesn't take much time. But oh no, they have to vote Tory or even BNP! The racists! Can't have racists! So the correction of certain ballot papers, or their disposal, is a must to keep freedom and justice in Britain. We should be thanked, not arrested!!!!!!

Luckily for me, each voting form has a number, a number related to the name of the voter. So just be warned mate, a BNP vote this time, a bombing tomorrow. We in Labour can keep an eye on people like that. White trash!

That's preserving democracy.

VOTE LABOUR!"


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"PS - On a vaguely related note, it's often been said that it was lucky Tony Blair wasn't arrested when he was interviewed by the police in the Cash For Peerages scandal. But I say No mate!

If we had a Prime Minister convicted it would open up a wealth of new oppertunities; LABOUR IN PRISON, just imagine it.

We could reform the Penal System from the inside, a unique perspective. I bet you any money you like that the Right-Wing Little Englander Tories couldn't think of that! Blimp mentality, that's why!

Mind you, there were safeguards. Why do you think Labour never built any prisons during all the time we've been in? And why do you think we've softened the system by downgrading crimes, making jail more comfortable and slashing sentances?

There have been odds that Labour people would go in, as a few actually have. Double-edged sword mate! Labour was conceived in a jail after all, you we've got that special affinity, has to be said.

But if we had Tony Blair, PRIME MINISTER CELL BLOCK H, so to speak, we'd be unstoppable. We'd all be reunited come visiting day for Cabinet meetings.
It's just so logical when you stop to think!

We're in charge and you know it! VOTE LABOUR!"
 
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