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Just need to talk to someone

Thank you for sharing this with us.

I was on the verge of tears.

You are certainly a strong person.

I hope you have a nice Christmas with your family and a healthy New Year.
Thank you. I do not really think of myself as a strong person...just surrounded by terrific people, neighbors, family and friends. We have been rebuilding a home that burned in our town. We are doing it for the insurance payout, so we definitely won't get rich on the rebuild. The word of mouth, though is invaluable. Everyone can see the work on the house, because it is on the main road between here and Charleston or Savannah. We get lots of traffic asking us for a business card. I will share some of the pictures of the rebuild here after New Year's. It is a small cottage, but it has come a long way. Yeah, I know, how is it that a 51 year old woman is in a man's industry....but I have always loved art since I was a child and have a knack for sketching, painting, etc. I don't see any real money in that type of art, but turning a house into a work of art spells a satisfying career to me.
 
I do not mind sharing. Yes, I have always held my breath, each and every time. I was in Houston during Hurricane Harvey. We lost our townhouse, but the hurricane is what led to my first cancer diagnosis. The evaluation at the stadium was where they found a tumor in my throat. I had cancer invading my lymph nodes and thyroid. It was a moderately aggressive cancer. Jan 2018, they operated and removed the tumor, my thyroid and a whole lot of lymph nodes that were destroyed by cancer. They didn't see any other areas, afterward that had cancer activity. However, they did do the radioactive iodine therapy. That was rough on me. Unlike lots of people, I did not do well and was in the hospital in isolation for 3 days. I tried to stand after the therapy and fell to the ground, like a rock.
After that, the next year was spent trying to get my thyroid levels to a suppressed level, to keep the cancer from coming back and of course to keep me alive. I started out on Synthroid, then Synthroid and Cytomel then they changed me to generic levothyroxine 125 and liothyronine 25. That has worked best for me for about a year now. However, after my last visit, it seems thyroid is screwed up again and the mass in my left breast.

I hope all women here get checked. Of course early is better and age is irrelevant, everyone should get an exam and after certain age get a mammogram.

I hadn't posted over the past few days, because I have been dealing with Liberty Mutual. It hasn't been a bad experience with them overall. My husband was hit by a man who swerved to avoid a deer. The guy admitted fault and called his insurance. He was afraid someone was hurt. Fortunately, no one was hurt on either side. Both our truck (Dodge 1500 SLT Hemi 4x4) and his truck a (Ford F150 4x4) are totaled. Today, the insurance company mailed us the check. It didn't take long for them to determine both were totaled(24 hours). We were due to make our last payment on our truck this month. So we only owed $643.04 on the truck....so, now we are truck shopping, I guess. We are keeping the truck though and they are reducing the total loss by $450. I was grateful that night though, because our community is small and everyone was out there waiting and waiting on Highway Patrol (took them 2 hours to get there) and everyone took turns trying to get our truck out of the woods. They ended up having to get permission from the owner of the property to cut trees to get it out. Our guys took a chainsaw as well as the neighbor and quickly turned trees into logs. They went back the next day and split it into firewood to take to the property owner.

I am thinking about what all is going on and I will sit down and talk to my mom and kids. I just don't have all of the answers and hope they understand that.

Sorry for all your struggles. Keeps us up to date. I'll say a prayer.
Peace
 
I just found out yesterday, my cancer is back. They found a mass yesterday in my left breast. It is showing hot on the PET scan so it is very probable that it is malignant. I don't know what to do. Right now obviously they will have to do a biopsy and stage the cancer. It is right before Christmas, so my kids nor my mom know. My mother has late-stage emphysema, so I have told no one. I am terrified. I don't know who to talk to and my husband is clearly scared too, but his way of dealing with really bad stuff is pretending it is not happening and I don't want to push things onto him too hard because he was there through the last time and was a trooper. We have decided to tell no one until after the holidays and it is staged. I feel really guilty not telling my family, but I do not want to ruin their Christmas. I feel like just rolling up in a ball and screaming. Sorry, but I just needed to write and feel like I was talking to someone since I have decided to tell no one around me. I was in remission for 4 years. I don't want to die yet, I am only 51 years old.
I am sorry, but, please know that breast cancer treatment these days is pretty damned amazing. My partner has one more chemo to go and a mastectomy, and everything is looking great on her scans.

When people said this to us 7 months ago, I was skeptical, but, the shit works and it works for a lot more people these days than before.

I'm in your corner for your fight. You got this!
 
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do what you want, you can beat it again (((hugs)))
 
I am sorry, but, please know that breast cancer treatment these days is pretty damned amazing. My partner has one more chemo to go and a mastectomy, and everything is looking great on her scans.

When people said this to us 7 months ago, I was skeptical, but, the shit works and it works for a lot more people these days than before.

I'm in your corner for your fight. You got this!
Thank you, I really needed to hear that. I am very happy that your partner is doing well. Yes, it is much better now than it was in the past. In the past it was a very bad prognosis. We are fortunate to have such good medical advances.
 
Sorry to hear.
Hopefully the doctors can find a treatment that works for you. I hope the treatment does not cause you any ill or lasting side effects.
They do say that having a positive mind set to fight the illness is half the battle.

thoughts and prays to you. 🙏
 
Thank you, I really needed to hear that. I am very happy that your partner is doing well. Yes, it is much better now than it was in the past. In the past it was a very bad prognosis. We are fortunate to have such good medical advances.
Its been 12 weeks of weekly chemo, then followed by 12 weeks where she gets a much stronger chemo every 3 weeks. On Thursday, she gets the last chemo, and because of the type of breast cancer she has, she is going to have the mastectomy in mid January, and she is opting for double mastectomy. She had a setback after the first strong chemo, her whites and red cells crashed and she needed overnight hospitalization and a transfusion a few days later, but since then she has handled the chemo well. She has started to ride her bike again slowly, and the hair is starting to come back. Scans are showing the cancer is reduced in the breast and there is no spread seen in the lymph (they will still biopsy that at the mastectomy), there is also no metasticising seen.

The chemo is shit, but they have made great strides with the immuno therapy. Also...THC/CBN gummies to give you a good sleep, and THC/Rick Simpson Oil gummies and ginger gummies alleviated nearly all of her nausea. If medical or recreational marijuana is legal in your state, you are very lucky. It has been a godsend.
 
Its been 12 weeks of weekly chemo, then followed by 12 weeks where she gets a much stronger chemo every 3 weeks. On Thursday, she gets the last chemo, and because of the type of breast cancer she has, she is going to have the mastectomy in mid January, and she is opting for double mastectomy. She had a setback after the first strong chemo, her whites and red cells crashed and she needed overnight hospitalization and a transfusion a few days later, but since then she has handled the chemo well. She has started to ride her bike again slowly, and the hair is starting to come back. Scans are showing the cancer is reduced in the breast and there is no spread seen in the lymph (they will still biopsy that at the mastectomy), there is also no metasticising seen.

The chemo is shit, but they have made great strides with the immuno therapy. Also...THC/CBN gummies to give you a good sleep, and THC/Rick Simpson Oil gummies and ginger gummies alleviated nearly all of her nausea. If medical or recreational marijuana is legal in your state, you are very lucky. It has been a godsend.
I understand they are also able to rebuild the breast after a mastectomy and they don't even need implants now to do so. I did some reading up on that and I was happy to know that since I have never been a fan of implants.
I cannot use THC. I am allergic to marijuana in the plant form and the doctor doesn't think I should try it in gummy form either since it contains plant material. I wish it were an option for me. I am also allergic to most opiates. So, that is going to be tough for me, but I am sure that I will have options and they will discuss them with me, if it is indeed cancerous.
 
I understand they are also able to rebuild the breast after a mastectomy and they don't even need implants now to do so. I did some reading up on that and I was happy to know that since I have never been a fan of implants.
I cannot use THC. I am allergic to marijuana in the plant form and the doctor doesn't think I should try it in gummy form either since it contains plant material. I wish it were an option for me. I am also allergic to most opiates. So, that is going to be tough for me, but I am sure that I will have options and they will discuss them with me, if it is indeed cancerous.
Implants would need to be redone every 2 years. The reconstruction is not an easy surgery....
 
So very sorry to hear that.
 
Update, I went in to have my biopsy. I am nervously waiting for results, but the doctor thinks it is stage 1 or 2. So, that is good news...or as good as it can get. Cancer is never good news, but early makes for a much easier treatment.
 
Update, I went in to have my biopsy. I am nervously waiting for results, but the doctor thinks it is stage 1 or 2. So, that is good news...or as good as it can get. Cancer is never good news, but early makes for a much easier treatment.
I just came across this.
I am sending a big hug your way and pray that the results will be the best news possible.
 
Update, I went in to have my biopsy. I am nervously waiting for results, but the doctor thinks it is stage 1 or 2. So, that is good news...or as good as it can get. Cancer is never good news, but early makes for a much easier treatment.

I do hope it's in the early stages!
 
Its been 12 weeks of weekly chemo, then followed by 12 weeks where she gets a much stronger chemo every 3 weeks. On Thursday, she gets the last chemo, and because of the type of breast cancer she has, she is going to have the mastectomy in mid January, and she is opting for double mastectomy. She had a setback after the first strong chemo, her whites and red cells crashed and she needed overnight hospitalization and a transfusion a few days later, but since then she has handled the chemo well. She has started to ride her bike again slowly, and the hair is starting to come back. Scans are showing the cancer is reduced in the breast and there is no spread seen in the lymph (they will still biopsy that at the mastectomy), there is also no metasticising seen.

The chemo is shit, but they have made great strides with the immuno therapy. Also...THC/CBN gummies to give you a good sleep, and THC/Rick Simpson Oil gummies and ginger gummies alleviated nearly all of her nausea. If medical or recreational marijuana is legal in your state, you are very lucky. It has been a godsend.
Don't forget to mention the rest of the good news.
 
I do hope it's in the early stages!
me too. My family all knows now and they are worried, but trying to not be overly worried until we get the final results and know what is going to happen. I am fortunate to have good, adult children and a supportive mother and husband.
 
me too. My family all knows now and they are worried, but trying to not be overly worried until we get the final results and know what is going to happen. I am fortunate to have good, adult children and a supportive mother and husband.
I said a prayer
 
I just found out yesterday, my cancer is back.
I'm so sorry. I think you were probably right to wait to tell your kids until you felt it was appropriate.
You rock ClaraD, I hope you send the cancer back into remission without much issue, and can get back to worrying about the normality of every day life.
 
I just found out yesterday, my cancer is back. They found a mass yesterday in my left breast. It is showing hot on the PET scan so it is very probable that it is malignant. I don't know what to do. Right now obviously they will have to do a biopsy and stage the cancer. It is right before Christmas, so my kids nor my mom know. My mother has late-stage emphysema, so I have told no one. I am terrified. I don't know who to talk to and my husband is clearly scared too, but his way of dealing with really bad stuff is pretending it is not happening and I don't want to push things onto him too hard because he was there through the last time and was a trooper. We have decided to tell no one until after the holidays and it is staged. I feel really guilty not telling my family, but I do not want to ruin their Christmas. I feel like just rolling up in a ball and screaming. Sorry, but I just needed to write and feel like I was talking to someone since I have decided to tell no one around me. I was in remission for 4 years. I don't want to die yet, I am only 51 years old.


That's a big load you've taken on yourself.

I strongly suggest you seek counseling. When ever I hear "I don't know what to do..." I know from experience that you're carrying too much on your own. If you are religious see a pastor, if not do not do that!

Right now your body needs you. You cannot continue to care take the others in your life. You need support, you need good orderly direction and people more interested in you than their own issues.

I am praying for you. You sound strong. The odds are in your favor
 
I just found out yesterday, my cancer is back. They found a mass yesterday in my left breast. It is showing hot on the PET scan so it is very probable that it is malignant. I don't know what to do. Right now obviously they will have to do a biopsy and stage the cancer. It is right before Christmas, so my kids nor my mom know. My mother has late-stage emphysema, so I have told no one. I am terrified. I don't know who to talk to and my husband is clearly scared too, but his way of dealing with really bad stuff is pretending it is not happening and I don't want to push things onto him too hard because he was there through the last time and was a trooper. We have decided to tell no one until after the holidays and it is staged. I feel really guilty not telling my family, but I do not want to ruin their Christmas. I feel like just rolling up in a ball and screaming. Sorry, but I just needed to write and feel like I was talking to someone since I have decided to tell no one around me. I was in remission for 4 years. I don't want to die yet, I am only 51 years old.
My thoughts are with you. Do what's best for you as much as possible.
 
I just found out yesterday, my cancer is back. They found a mass yesterday in my left breast. It is showing hot on the PET scan so it is very probable that it is malignant. I don't know what to do. Right now obviously they will have to do a biopsy and stage the cancer. It is right before Christmas, so my kids nor my mom know. My mother has late-stage emphysema, so I have told no one. I am terrified. I don't know who to talk to and my husband is clearly scared too, but his way of dealing with really bad stuff is pretending it is not happening and I don't want to push things onto him too hard because he was there through the last time and was a trooper. We have decided to tell no one until after the holidays and it is staged. I feel really guilty not telling my family, but I do not want to ruin their Christmas. I feel like just rolling up in a ball and screaming. Sorry, but I just needed to write and feel like I was talking to someone since I have decided to tell no one around me. I was in remission for 4 years. I don't want to die yet, I am only 51 years old.
Hoping for the best!
 
That's a big load you've taken on yourself.

I strongly suggest you seek counseling. When ever I hear "I don't know what to do..." I know from experience that you're carrying too much on your own. If you are religious see a pastor, if not do not do that!

Right now your body needs you. You cannot continue to care take the others in your life. You need support, you need good orderly direction and people more interested in you than their own issues.

I am praying for you. You sound strong. The odds are in your favor
Not taking care of others is kind of something I have to do right now. My mother has stage 3 emphysema and I am her only child. So, she depends on me. She is still fiercely independent, but she is going to need my help more as time goes on. I am a believer in God, not overly religious, but I do have someone to talk to from our church.
I do also believe the odds are in my favor. I just worry about when my energy levels sink during these next months and I cannot get out and physically inspect the job site. My husband is trying to set something up to prepare for that. I know the building codes, but he doesn't always stay up to date on them. I always do a final walk-through and a midway, walk-through before calling in the building inspector. We do have a backup we can pay, but that costs money and we are still a company that is under 5 years old (so more tough times than good times). I am glad that cell phones and zoom exists, because I may be able to do a visual that way. My husband hates reading and loves swinging a hammer. So he isn't going to update on all of the new building codes. Also, when there are major issues he calls me. For instance, a house that caught fire, we are re-roofing and doing a lot of framing work. He uncovered a critical structural beam that was severely damaged by termites. The termites were not active, but the beam is shot. So, here we are waiting for an engineer to come in and take a look and make sure that our plan for replacement won't change the historical integrity of the home. I love my job, but it requires me to be very active and the last time I had some serious issues with my energy levels.
 
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