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DP Veteran
May 31, 2005
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Milwaukee, WI
Political Leaning
The pope and the Queen of England are at a soccer game. The Queen says to the pope, "I bet I can make everyone in this stadium cheer with the wave of my hand." The pope says, "Whatever, showoff." So the Queen waves her hand and everyone cheers, they go crazy. The pope looks at the queen and says, "That was impressive. I bet I can make every Irish person here cheer with the wave of my hand." The Queen says, "Whatever." So he slapped her.


DP Veteran
Nov 14, 2004
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Pacific Northwest US
galenrox said:

Alright, this one my dad told me when I was younger, so I'm not sure if anyone else will find it funny.

A zoo has a female white gorilla, which, needless to say, is an extremely rare species. When she came of age, they decided they needed to find her a mate, so the species could continue on. So they wrote to every single zoo and wild life refuge in the world, seeing if anyone had a male white gorilla to mate with her, but none of them did. Then they contacted every known hunter or poacher, asking if anyone could catch one, and the reward would be $50,000, but months went by with no luck. Then they decided that they had to take the options that they were left with, which was they put ads in Hustler, and Juggs, and Penthouse, saying "White Male willing to mate with Female White Gorilla, $50,000". No one answered for months and months, and they were about to give up, when one day a man named Kowalski came in, and said "I'm interested in the mating with the gorilla."
So the zookeepers rushed to him, and asked him what accomidations he would need.
"Well, I'll do it under three conditions."
"Yes, yes, whatever you want!"
"Ok, first, no kissing." he said.
"Alright, we'll try our best to communicate that to her." the eagerly replied.
"Ok, second, the baby would have to be raised catholic." he said.
"We'll do whatever we can!"
"And lastly, you have to give me 30 days to raise the 50 grand!"

That's funny.

"Beer is proof that God loves us." Ben Franklin
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