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Joke of the day

Red Crow

Holy Crap!
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There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another Organist.

So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green Persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green Persimmons, though, 'because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while'.

She agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said...

'Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, We will not hath a thermon tewday.'
 

OscarB63

Farts in Elevators
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How do Australians practice safe sex?

They paint Xs on the backs of the sheep that kick.
 

OscarB63

Farts in Elevators
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I thought sheep jokes were for kiwis?
well, since there are no admitted kiwis on the board...I adapted it. could also have substituted farmers or fratboys
 

Red Crow

Holy Crap!
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The contest

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day. As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
"I am entering!" said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"
" First Place!" said Snow White.
They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."
"I'm entering," says Superman. After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
" First Place," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?" Pinocchio enters.
After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Who the hell is this guy Obama?" asked Pinocchio.
 
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