I thought Incould put all of this behind us and Tom and Incould go back to the way it was. How naive. It's been very difficult for the last three days. I've never been cheated on in my life, that I know of, it's so unsettling. Truth is that once a partner breaks trust, the relationship can hardly be the same.
And because of my personal health situation, I consider it an even greater break of trust. A complete lack of morality that is hard to shake.
And while Tom is the one who broke his trust with me, it's hard for me to shake that this woman must be a real piece of work. Having lost her husband four years ago to cancer, she has to know how devastating Tom's betrayal would be to me. He said she wanted me to know she never meant to hurt me. **** that. She just didn't give a ****.
Yesterday, his having deleted his call log was getting to me. So I went on line and looked at his cell phone account. In the last month, he'd called her over 100 times on her cell and home numbers. Hurt all over again.
I checked previous months, and the same thing had been going on as far back as last August (when the online detail stopped). He claims it all started last June. I don't believe him. He claims he didn't sleep with her. I don't believe him. He claims its over. I don't believe him. He asked me if I just wanted to keep his phone. My head goes to his just going out and getting another cell phone and keeping it in his car. Oh Lord. What a **** up. What's done cannot be undone.
Dont cheat on those you love. There's is not much in the world that is more painful. This has been a hundred times more difficult than my prognosis.
Is Tom staying with me because of the financial arrangements I've made for him when I die? Does an eighteen year loving relationship deserve that anyway? My atty told me never to tell him about it. I was proud to tell him because I knew he'd be so worried about what would happen to him after I died. Now I understand why the atty was so adamant.
If I tell Tom to leave, I have to find homes for my animals and probably consider selling the house and moving into a condo. Right now I feel well enough to tackle all of that, but that could change tomorrow morning. And rehoming the animals would break my heart. What to do...
i never saw the end of my life infolding loke this.
Well, anyway, today's my chemo appointment. I see the doc as well. Pretty sure he'll order a scan to see if the Opdiva is doing any good. I hope so. It's been a cakewalk with this new immunotherapy treatment. The physician's assistant told me this new immunotherapy is the up and coming latest treatment. I can honestly say Ive had no side effects at all.
Thanks for listening. Sorry to bring such trashy posts to DP, but sharing my thoughts is therapeutic.
❤️
And because of my personal health situation, I consider it an even greater break of trust. A complete lack of morality that is hard to shake.
And while Tom is the one who broke his trust with me, it's hard for me to shake that this woman must be a real piece of work. Having lost her husband four years ago to cancer, she has to know how devastating Tom's betrayal would be to me. He said she wanted me to know she never meant to hurt me. **** that. She just didn't give a ****.
Yesterday, his having deleted his call log was getting to me. So I went on line and looked at his cell phone account. In the last month, he'd called her over 100 times on her cell and home numbers. Hurt all over again.
I checked previous months, and the same thing had been going on as far back as last August (when the online detail stopped). He claims it all started last June. I don't believe him. He claims he didn't sleep with her. I don't believe him. He claims its over. I don't believe him. He asked me if I just wanted to keep his phone. My head goes to his just going out and getting another cell phone and keeping it in his car. Oh Lord. What a **** up. What's done cannot be undone.
Dont cheat on those you love. There's is not much in the world that is more painful. This has been a hundred times more difficult than my prognosis.
Is Tom staying with me because of the financial arrangements I've made for him when I die? Does an eighteen year loving relationship deserve that anyway? My atty told me never to tell him about it. I was proud to tell him because I knew he'd be so worried about what would happen to him after I died. Now I understand why the atty was so adamant.
If I tell Tom to leave, I have to find homes for my animals and probably consider selling the house and moving into a condo. Right now I feel well enough to tackle all of that, but that could change tomorrow morning. And rehoming the animals would break my heart. What to do...
i never saw the end of my life infolding loke this.
Well, anyway, today's my chemo appointment. I see the doc as well. Pretty sure he'll order a scan to see if the Opdiva is doing any good. I hope so. It's been a cakewalk with this new immunotherapy treatment. The physician's assistant told me this new immunotherapy is the up and coming latest treatment. I can honestly say Ive had no side effects at all.
Thanks for listening. Sorry to bring such trashy posts to DP, but sharing my thoughts is therapeutic.
❤️