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azgreg

Chicks dig the long ball
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World to end July 29, says group that?s always wrong

The group End Times Prophecies has declared the world will end July 29 in a chain of events prompted by an ongoing phenomenon known as a polar flip.

The good news: We can stop worrying about who will be the next President.

A 17-minute "Armageddon News" video, posted on YouTube on July 9 and viewed more than half a million times, explains the end-of-the world theory as a modulated female voice reads through a variety of biblical quotes, illustrated with cheap special effects that couldn't buy Michael Bay a cup of coffee.

The Armageddon News report says, "The polar flip will make the stars race across the sky, and the vacuum from the reeling of the Earth will pull the atmosphere along the ground, trying to catch up, creating what is known as a roll cloud."

Well, at least the polar flip is real.

According to NASA, the polar reversal is a routine global phenomenon that happens gradually as a result of shifting liquid iron in the Earth's core. It's a slow process, though NASA does indicate some of the most intense drifting will be from June 14 to Aug. 19 this year.

End Times Prophecies uses that scientific truth as the catalyst for the apocalyptic chain of events.

Meanwhile, it should be noted that the group also had predicted a giant collision between Earth and an asteroid in May and that Barack Obama would reveal himself to be the Antichrist in June. So it's not surprising that the latest "news" is being met with skepticism.

As YouTube user Typical White Teenager says in a comment under the video, "I just caught a Dragonite and if I'm going my Dragonite is coming with me."

Pokemon Go followers aren't the only ones who would suffer from a July 29 apocalypse. Football season is about to kick into gear, the leaves will be changing soon, and the holidays will be right behind.

Plus July 29 is a Friday. Seriously, a Friday.

Why are doomsayers always such buzzkills?



I wish I had used more of my PTO from work. Oh well. See you all on the other side.
 
Can I forward them my bank details so they can sell all their stuff and send me the money before the world goes kaput?
 
If the world's ending, it certainly doesn't feel like it.

All of the apocalypses I've lived through have been quite... anticlimactic, now that I think about it.

Also, why is there an official plural form of the word apocalypse? It seems like there shouldn't be one, you know?
 
Didn't Al Gore predict the planet would be inhabitable this year anyway?
 
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
 
The common thread of the apocalyptic crowd, is they all have to be here when it happens, as if the apocalyptic clock marches to their own personal clock.

The apocalypse doesn't work that way. I know. I've lived through several!
 
I don't think anyone's worried. These end times predictions happen every year (particularly from conspiracy clowns), and they're always wrong.

I'm sure they;re going to keep being wrong until they finally get it right. If you keep firing a shotgun at it, you're inevitably going to hit the target with something.
 
I don't think anyone's worried. These end times predictions happen every year (particularly from conspiracy clowns), and they're always wrong.

...and they always will be... As a Christian, these dimbulbs are an embarrassment. The Bible pointedly states that no one knows when this world will end, so anyone who claims to know, starts out by being wrong just by making the claim. Unfortunately, I've been around a couple of this kind of self-proclaimed prophets and they just seem to keep on putting out the stupid. People just don't seem to care that if they were wrong even once, they no longer meet the Biblical standard for being called a prophet. But as long as people keep ignoring their failures (usually repeated failures), they just keep on being wrong and claiming to be prophets.
 
That makes sense....because today is the last day to download Windows 10 for free. I'm afraid...but...I've got to do it. So I hope I see ya'll on the other side but if I don't...you'll know why.
 
Can they narrow it down a bit? It's going to happen today...I get that...but WHEN?

Do I have time to hunt the pokemons I need to get level 22 before it all ends?
 
They aren't totally off base - after all, as of this morning two corrupt, self-absorbed, lunatics are vying for the American Presidency - the world will end soon, so why quibble over a few weeks or months.
 
As a cardinal's fan, the end of the world should be seen as a saving grace for you...

:p

When you refer to the Cardinals are you referring to the team that won their division last year and made it to the NFC championship game and are picked by many to reach the Super Bowl this season? Those Cardinals?
 
Meanwhile, it should be noted that the group also had predicted a giant collision between Earth and an asteroid in May and that Barack Obama would reveal himself to be the Antichrist in June. So it's not surprising that the latest "news" is being met with skepticism.

Obama better hurry up and make his declaration. Time is running out.
 
When you refer to the Cardinals are you referring to the team that won their division last year and made it to the NFC championship game and are picked by many to reach the Super Bowl this season? Those Cardinals?

Yep. Fluke team bound flail into obscurity. Any team that ain't the Texans I feel the same way about :p
 
Yep. Fluke team bound flail into obscurity. Any team that ain't the Texans I feel the same way about :p

At least the Cardinals have won the championship (twice). Let me know when the Texans reach the conference championship game.
 
At least the Cardinals have won the championship (twice). Let me know when the Texans reach the conference championship game.
Houston will be the first team to HOST the Superbowl at home. Watch and see!
 
Houston will be the first team to HOST the Superbowl at home. Watch and see!

The only way the Texans are getting to the Super Bowl is through Stub Hub.
 
Dangit. Why did you wait til TODAY to post this? If you had posted it a week ago we could have gone to them and asked them to give us all their stuff.
 
Houston will be the first team to HOST the Superbowl at home. Watch and see!
So they went out and found someone OTHER than Ostweiler at QB? Why werent we told about this?
 
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