Is it Possible to Have a Plutonic Relationship?

[Joecool44]

Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

Are you talking about FWB?

 

[Quag]

For purely "plutonic" reasons.
Yes plutonic 'cause it will be out of this world *nudge nudge wink wink*

 

[zyzygy]

Can somebody put him out of his misery about the word platonic?

 

[Quag]

Can somebody put him out of his misery about the word platonic?

You seem very mercurial today. One moment you are all martial in your posts the next moment you are down to earth

 

[Omega Man]

Two words: Friend Zone. The fact that they do exist is the answer to the OP.


OM

 

[Rexedgar]

Plutonic? You been boinking aliens?

 

[CannonballB]

Two words: Friend Zone. The fact that they do exist is the answer to the OP.


OM

I have a question for this. My understanding of friend zone keeps changing. What is "the friend zone". I mean, is that someone you might have had a romantic interest in but ended up feeling like y'all are better friends than romantic partners? Or is it a girl that you like but she doesn't like you back? I'm confused.

I think I friendzoned a guy. We went on a couple dates, had sex a handful of times, but I just lost interest in him as a romantic partner but really liked him as JUST a friend. I ended up not being attracted to him after a couple dates but I wanted to stay friends with him, which seems to be OK. He talks about still having sex and calls me "daddy" (don't ask) but I rebuff any and all attempts for sex from him. Did I friendzone him?

 

[Omega Man]

I have a question for this. My understanding of friend zone keeps changing. What is "the friend zone". I mean, is that someone you might have had a romantic interest in but ended up feeling like y'all are better friends than romantic partners? Or is it a girl that you like but she doesn't like you back? I'm confused.

I think I friendzoned a guy. We went on a couple dates, had sex a handful of times, but I just lost interest in him as a romantic partner but really liked him as JUST a friend. I ended up not being attracted to him after a couple dates but I wanted to stay friends with him, which seems to be OK. He talks about still having sex and calls me "daddy" (don't ask) but I rebuff any and all attempts for sex from him. Did I friendzone him?

You friend zoned him afterwards. In a nutshell, "friend zone" typically refers to a platonic relationship where one of the members physically/sexually desires the other, but not the other way around.


OM

 

[CannonballB]

You friend zoned him afterwards. In a nutshell, "friend zone" typically refers to a platonic relationship where one of the members physically/sexually desires the other, but not the other way around.


OM

THANK YOU!! I appreciate the feedback/help!

 

[Omega Man]

THANK YOU!! I appreciate the feedback/help!

I've been on both sides of the equation. Life is funny that way.


OM

 

[lurchadams]

I am so glad I'm gay when reading **** like this.

In my experience (only, but I am 40 and have been around for a few minutes), guys just wanna **** and they can compartmentalize a sexual relationship with a friendship. Sure my friend and I might have sex once in a while, but it doesn't affect the other side of our friendship. If either of us were to find men we were going to be monogamous with, that part would end but we'd continue on being friends. Hell, he might join my partner and I in bed, provided there was all around mutual attraction.

The gays (gay men), in my experience, tend to not have so many hangups about sex. That's just the circles I've ran in and I do not speak for the entirety of the homo community.

So you think the reason plutonic relationships often don't work out for hetero folks is because we have too many sexual hangups? Well, thank you, Mr. Worldly! You are so wise and easy-going, we could all learn a think or two from you

 

[PleasantValley]

Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

I have found it is possible to "be friends" once you have already had sex and decided it was better to be friends than lovers.
That happened once.
The other two times was "friends with benefits", so the sailor in me finds it hard to take sex completely off the table.
...or off the floor, or off the couch, or off the kitchen counter....

 

[lurchadams]

Can somebody put him out of his misery about the word platonic?

You mean, "plutonic"?

 

[lurchadams]

I have a question for this. My understanding of friend zone keeps changing. What is "the friend zone". I mean, is that someone you might have had a romantic interest in but ended up feeling like y'all are better friends than romantic partners? Or is it a girl that you like but she doesn't like you back? I'm confused.

I think I friendzoned a guy. We went on a couple dates, had sex a handful of times, but I just lost interest in him as a romantic partner but really liked him as JUST a friend. I ended up not being attracted to him after a couple dates but I wanted to stay friends with him, which seems to be OK. He talks about still having sex and calls me "daddy" (don't ask) but I rebuff any and all attempts for sex from him. Did I friendzone him?

Yah, you did.

 

[Bullseye]

Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

Yeah, it's simple. Pluto isn't even a planet anymore, plutonians are pretty rare, and that cartoon character is funny, but not relationship material, IMHO.

 

[Hawkeye10]

Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

Yes, but why would you want to do that?

If a woman tells you that she wants to do that I advise holding out for a better deal.

 

[OldFatGuy]

The phrase every young man hates to hear when on the prowl: "We can still be friends."

That being said, from what we truly know about Plato, he never said anything about sexless relationships with women outside of family. He promulgated the theory that women should be respected for their intellects, not merely as chattel to server and nurture. How his views were distorted is another matter.

No matter the relationship between a man and woman, sex is still an undercurrent. It may never be a goal, but it still remains between the two. Let's be honest, while it may not be conscious, it is still there. That doesn't mean it will ever be fulfilled, or that it should be. Certainly, fidelity to one's mate should take precedence, but that doesn't mean it will.

Over the years I have maintained sexless relationships with a few women, some professionally, some not. Both my wives questioned me about these relationships, asking if I would consider enjoying sexual relationships or had done so with these women. I always replied "yes" to the prior with one exception, someone I worked with who I looked at as family, and honestly denied the latter (for my safety, tho it was true, again with one exception they already knew about from my younger years). I felt it was better to be honest, even if raising the specter of jealousy and possessiveness that might harm those relationships. Fortunately, that did not occur with significance.

Therefore, I say, from my experiences, it is possible to enjoy sexless relationships between men and women, but a little fantasy now and then doesn't hurt (much). And that doesn't mean we men have to jump the bones of every woman we meet in this life.

 

[Pippi Longstock]

I've had platonic male friends throughout my life. It's never been a problem. Maybe I was just naive as to their intentions but I don't think so. It just never went in any other direction in my head and since I have control over my thinking and actions it was pretty easy to form strong respectful friendships. The horn dogs are pretty easy to weed out.

 

[RAMOSS]

Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

Only if you are goofy.

 

[SDET]

Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

If you do have a plutonic relationship, don't forget to tell her "You da bomb". :lol:

 

[SDET]

You friend zoned him afterwards. In a nutshell, "friend zone" typically refers to a platonic relationship where one of the members physically/sexually desires the other, but not the other way around.


OM

I agree, but would take it a step further. The one being friendzoned makes sacrifices he wouldn't otherwise make except for the hope of a physical relationship.

 

[SDET]

Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

Now that I've had my fun over "plutonic", I will seriously answer your question. I have a platonic relationship with a woman I know professionally. The relationship MUST have a purpose however. She and I serve as a sanity check regarding how to deal with bosses on an adversarial basis. She helps me not go too far and I help her not be a doormat at the hands of a pushy boss. The opposites compliment each other. She and I are both alpha in our marriages and we both have compliant spouses. When she comes to my home, my wife cooks and serves us while her husband takes care of her toddlers so that we can talk about things undistracted. Both of our spouses are seem uncomfortable about our friendship, but both know it's not their place to say anything.

 

[lurchadams]

Now that I've had my fun over "plutonic", I will seriously answer your question. I have a platonic relationship with a woman I know professionally. The relationship MUST have a purpose however. She and I serve as a sanity check regarding how to deal with bosses on an adversarial basis. She helps me not go too far and I help her not be a doormat at the hands of a pushy boss. The opposites compliment each other. She and I are both alpha in our marriages and we both have compliant spouses. When she comes to my home, my wife cooks and serves us while her husband takes care of her toddlers so that we can talk about things undistracted. Both of our spouses are seem uncomfortable about our friendship, but both know it's not their place to say anything.

You are a relic of the 1950's. And I say that plutonically.

 

[can2man]

Not possible for me. I’d sleep with a pile of rocks if I thought there was a snake in it.

 

[Evilroddy]

I agree, but would take it a step further. The one being friendzoned makes sacrifices he wouldn't otherwise make except for the hope of a physical relationship.

SDET:

A Plutonic Relationship?!? Sure, just date a large chunk of crystallised magma which has been finely polished after having a few holes drilled into it and you'll have a grand old time. However if you want to have a Platonic relationship, keep your zipper zipped up.

Cheers.
Evilroddy.