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Is it Possible to Have a Plutonic Relationship?

I have an old crush from way back in my younger days who I no longer think of romantically...not for almost thirty years. She was very VERY cute back then...now she might be described as "not altogether homely".
Her off center kookiness was a little hard to take back then, now she's just a funny gal with a heart and it's hard not to like her as a person. Still a wee bit off center but she manages well at real life now.

Anyway, I get a hoot out of talking to her, and my old chums from back then did and still do now.
I don't know if that qualifies or not, but I could see just being friends and not ever wanting to act on anything else. She's a musician, I'm a musician, she's very artsy fartsy, I was artsy fartsy once upon a time and could easily be again if given half a chance. I get her whacko sense of humor, she gets mine.

But I look at her now and wonder what all the fuss was about, other than my prong being ready to go at a slight breeze. I know for a fact I would never have wanted a longer sexual relationship with her beyond dipping my toe in the water, again because she was hard to take back then and is mellower now.
I'm going to make a ruling that I could have a perfectly satisfying platonic relationship with her.
 
In my scenario you are both unattached.
In that case then, why just be friends? It makes no sense. Unless either is the forbidden fruit of a committed relationship?
 
I don't start friendships with the thought in mind that at some point "we're going to sleep together". When you go "there" you change the entire dynamics and could be forfeiting a person you just like to hang out with and have fun.

I'm not sure people always do...maybe every guy might do it rarely, some guys might do it half the time but it's doubtful every guy starts off that way all the time.
I do not know if you're male or female. If you're female, I am not surprised at your statement, but that's maybe partly due to the fact that women always seem to know two things in a short time:

1. If they ARE going to ever (or maybe) sleep with a guy they met.

2. The fact that a lot of guys are looking at them with the thought of sex in mind, women KNOW this because men are way too obvious about it.

If you're a guy, I half believe you, because again, at least SOME guys have it in mind HALF the time.
I doubt any guy exists that NEVER has it in mind ever. Or let's just say it is difficult to believe if the guy is or has ever been sexually active...because I know that the thought DOES cross a guy's mind.
It's not a bad thing, it just is what it is...millions of years of evolution.

We men are WIRED to look over and think:

"Hmmmmm..." :devil:
 
Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

Yes its very easy for adults.
 
Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

Well I think it is possible to have platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex, but with the following caveats:

1. You have to be in a strong, committed, happy relationship with your ideal romantic partner.
2. Those women have to be in strong, committed, happy relationships as well.
3. You have to be good friends with their husbands/boyfriends.

I have a some very good friendships with a few women, but without exception, they are married, in happy relationships, and I am friends with their husbands.

But if you are single? Or she is single? Or both? Yeah, either that platonic relationship is very likely going to give way to a romantic relationship, or the man or woman is cruising for an emotional bruising.
 
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Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

You'd need to ask men and women from Pluto.
 
I don't start friendships with the thought in mind that at some point "we're going to sleep together". When you go "there" you change the entire dynamics and could be forfeiting a person you just like to hang out with and have fun.

I'm not saying you had it in mind at all. I'm saying that either way, it's inevitable it's going to happen especially if you try to sleep together platonically - good behavior lasts about 10 min in that scenario.

Now having said all that - please realize I am pretty much irresistible to women :)
 
In that case then, why just be friends? It makes no sense. Unless either is the forbidden fruit of a committed relationship?

Why, indeed. Whether that is your intention or not, naughtiness will eventually take place.
 
Well I think it is possible to have platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex, but with the following caveats:

1. You have to be in a strong, committed, happy relationship with your ideal romantic partner.
2. Those women have to be in strong, committed, happy relationships as well.
3. You have to be good friends with their husbands/boyfriends.

I have a some very good friendships with a few women, but without exception, they are married, in happy relationships, and I am friends with their husbands.

But if you are single? Or she is single? Or both? Yeah, either that platonic relationship is very likely going to give way to a romantic relationship, or the man or woman is cruising for an emotional bruising.

This is exactly what I'm saying.
 
Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

I'm middle aged and most of the women I consider friends are married, so a physical relationship is out of the question. There's often still a shared affection without flirting as well as love for one another in the sense of looking out for each others best interests in a basic sense. It brings me joy to know that a woman that I like a lot and respect and can even find very attractive is happy to see me and talk to me, even if it won't lead to anything physical.

Btw, I don't hang out with married women and we're not talking on the phone or texting for personal reasons, as I think this would be disrespectful to their husbands. I do think that hanging out with a single woman would make it much more difficult to keep it platonic.
 
Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

It is. I have friendships with fellow lesbians, and I've been nothing but platonic with them. Sure they're pretty, but I'm not ruining my relationship with my girlfriend. Not everything has to lead to sex.
 
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It is. I have friendships with fellow lesbians, and I've been nothing but platonic with them. Sure they're pretty, but I'm not runing my relationship with my girlfriend. Not everything has to lead to sex.

I would like to meet these pretty friends of yours ;)
 
I would like to meet these pretty friends of yours ;)

giphy.gif
 
I'm middle aged and most of the women I consider friends are married, so a physical relationship is out of the question. There's often still a shared affection without flirting as well as love for one another in the sense of looking out for each others best interests in a basic sense. It brings me joy to know that a woman that I like a lot and respect and can even find very attractive is happy to see me and talk to me, even if it won't lead to anything physical.

Btw, I don't hang out with married women and we're not talking on the phone or texting for personal reasons, as I think this would be disrespectful to their husbands. I do think that hanging out with a single woman would make it much more difficult to keep it platonic.

The bolded is what I'm talking about.
 
It is. I have friendships with fellow lesbians, and I've been nothing but platonic with them. Sure they're pretty, but I'm not ruining my relationship with my girlfriend. Not everything has to lead to sex.

What if you were in bed with an attractive woman, you both are currently unattached, she snuggles up to you and her hands start "wandering". Would you reject her overtures?

This is what I'm talking about, Gov.
 
Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

I know lots of people that have such relationships.
 
Her pretty lesbian friends?

Yeah dont you know that all pretty lesbians are actually just bisexual.
Well that's what I learned from all the "documentaries" ive seen
 
I am so glad I'm gay when reading **** like this.

In my experience (only, but I am 40 and have been around for a few minutes), guys just wanna **** and they can compartmentalize a sexual relationship with a friendship. Sure my friend and I might have sex once in a while, but it doesn't affect the other side of our friendship. If either of us were to find men we were going to be monogamous with, that part would end but we'd continue on being friends. Hell, he might join my partner and I in bed, provided there was all around mutual attraction.

The gays (gay men), in my experience, tend to not have so many hangups about sex. That's just the circles I've ran in and I do not speak for the entirety of the homo community.
 
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