Is it ok to spank your children?

[Stace]

Strongly disagree, stace

And that's fine, I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with me. :smile:

The school MUST be allow to discipline children, or the children should not even be there.

There's a difference in disciplining a child and spanking them, as far as schools are concerned. If things like detention or being sent to the principal or whatever don't work, then perhaps a little investigative works needs to be done to see why the child can't behave in the school environment, but if I wouldn't even allow my mother, or any other family member besides myself or my husband, to spank my child, why should I allow a teacher to spank them? Ain't gonna happen.

The children in the school as a unit are far more important that the wishes of parents with minority views...

And you think that spanking a child is going to solve anything? Hardly.

Spanking is done by parents who do not want to take the time and effort into being good parents.

This is but partially true.
Doing the "wrong" thing may be better than doing nothing at all..
But then, there are parents who are really too stupid to bring up children ,spanking or no spanking..

Sometimes, nothing BUT spanking will get through to a particular child, I'll grant you that. But as far as my particular situation and feelings....I was severely abused by my stepfather. I'm talking thrown into the bathtub. Being thrown across my room onto my bed, where I then hit my head on the rails of my bed (I had a daybed), and THEN being smacked on the head repeatedly with a rolled up newspaper. Being grabbed by ankles, held upside down, and having my head beat against the floor. Having bruises left on me so big that they covered half of my upper arm. Being whacked with a belt so hard that I was black and blue and bleeding. Being beat so hard that my neighbors (who were separated from us by an acre of land) could hear me screaming through closed windows and doors. I will NEVER strike my child as a form of discipline unless that is the ONLY thing that works.

And yes, some people are just too stupid to be allowed to procreate. I think I've mentioned this before somewhere, but sometimes I think there should be a system similar to the adoption process that people have to go through before they're allowed to have a child. You know, home visits and all of that sort of thing. Maybe some psych evals as well.

 

[Captain America]

We used to get the crap beat out of us in school. I hated that. Big, thick paddles. The coach would pop us in the butt fresh out of the showers to "toughen us up." Today, that same coach or principal would go to jail for it.

We couldn't let our hair touch our ears or be over our collars. girls couldn't wear pants. And this was a public school too!

That was back in the days before Columbine, drive-bys, cursing out teachers in the classrooms, wearing short shorts and halter tops.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........

 

[earthworm]

We used to get the crap beat out of us in school. I hated that. Big, thick paddles. The coach would pop us in the butt fresh out of the showers to "toughen us up." Today, that same coach or principal would go to jail for it.

We couldn't let our hair touch our ears or be over our collars. girls couldn't wear pants. And this was a public school too!

That was back in the days before Columbine, drive-bys, cursing out teachers in the classrooms, wearing short shorts and halter tops.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........

Is man so stupid that he cannot find a happy medium ??:spin:

My school was NOT that tough,IMO..:mrgreen:
But they did care, and there was discipline including being hit.With this discipline there was respect.
And this seems to be missing in todays schools.

Stace, there is one huge difference between child abuse and spanking.

What you suffered was far,far worse than what my sister and I had to endure, i think - for me, 100% is forgotten.
My sister is also against spanking, I can see why.
But children do need discipline , this is a must !

 

[F41]

But children do need discipline , this is a must !

All children have rebellious tendencies in them, and when they do rebel, it is our obligation as parents (not the schools) to stop the rebellion. We should do this by punishing them with a whack on the butt with a small reed-like rod (a switch). It could be from a fruit tree or a willow tree or it could even be a small wooden spoon. It is not supposed to be a large heavy board or anything that would cause any permanent physical damage.

The purpose of a spanking is for them to respect authority. Taking something away from them may work sometimes but not all times.

Parents should not be afraid of spanking, it will not cause your child to die, although some scream loud enough that it sounds that way. Spanking is not beating a child, anyone who can not see the difference only refuses too.

Don't fail to correct your children. They won't die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death.

 

[Stace]

Stace, there is one huge difference between child abuse and spanking.

What you suffered was far,far worse than what my sister and I had to endure, i think - for me, 100% is forgotten.
My sister is also against spanking, I can see why.
But children do need discipline , this is a must !

Oh, trust me, I know that there's a difference between merely spanking and full blown child abuse. But I know myself, and I know that when I get extremely angry, I can get very violent if I don't watch myself, and therefore, I will NEVER strike my child - I'm too afraid that a mere spanking will turn into something akin to what I experienced, and I just can't take that risk.

I just feel that if you set your boundaries early, chances are much better that more constructive forms of discipline will be met with better results.

 

[Hoot]

This may be my last post on this topic, as most of you know how I feel, so there's no point in arguing about differences in parental discipline.

I'm against spanking. Spanking is a form of parental frustration. And what exactly is frustration? Frustration is not getting your way. So, who's the child in this situation?

The parent becomes frustrated because they did not get their way with the child. ( Perhaps the child embarrassed the parent out in public?) ..and then we have an act of violence as a reprisal. ( No other way to describe it,) an act of violence that some of you have the nerve to equate with love?

Spanking only teaches, possibly, two things. Fear and obedience. It certainly doesn't teach love, respect, understanding, or some great moral lesson in life. In fact, I'd bet money that the parent who actually does the spanking is loved and respected less then the parent who does not participate.

"Then come the hugs." What a laugh. You think a child wants to get all huggy lovey with the parent who just reddened their little bottom? If the child does hug back, it's more because of fear...not love. This huggy lovey crap after a spanking is more to assuage the guilt of the parent..not reassure the child.

Yeah...congrats...you've taught the child fear and obedience...much like those circus animals.

If a child is running into the street everytime you're together at the park, then what the hell are you doing at the park?

You kneel down to the child's level and explain in simple loving terms..."I'm sorry...we have to leave the park because you disobeyed me and ran into the street. If you continue to do this, you will not be allowed in the park again to play with your friends. Now, let's go home."

And if the child screams and throws a fit about this, you ignore it.

You certainly don't smack the child in public like a frigging neanderthal, because it is you, the parent, who is embarrassed and frustrated because you cannot control your child without an act of violence.

 

[ALiberalModerate]

This may be my last post on this topic, as most of you know how I feel, so there's no point in arguing about differences in parental discipline.

I'm against spanking. Spanking is a form of parental frustration. And what exactly is frustration? Frustration is not getting your way. So, who's the child in this situation?

The parent becomes frustrated because they did not get their way with the child. ( Perhaps the child embarrassed the parent out in public?) ..and then we have an act of violence as a reprisal. ( No other way to describe it,) an act of violence that some of you have the nerve to equate with love?

Spanking only teaches, possibly, two things. Fear and obedience. It certainly doesn't teach love, respect, understanding, or some great moral lesson in life. In fact, I'd bet money that the parent who actually does the spanking is loved and respected less then the parent who does not participate.

"Then come the hugs." What a laugh. You think a child wants to get all huggy lovey with the parent who just reddened their little bottom? If the child does hug back, it's more because of fear...not love. This huggy lovey crap after a spanking is more to assuage the guilt of the parent..not reassure the child.

Yeah...congrats...you've taught the child fear and obedience...much like those circus animals.

If a child is running into the street everytime you're together at the park, then what the hell are you doing at the park?

You kneel down to the child's level and explain in simple loving terms..."I'm sorry...we have to leave the park because you disobeyed me and ran into the street. If you continue to do this, you will not be allowed in the park again to play with your friends. Now, let's go home."

And if the child screams and throws a fit about this, you ignore it.

You certainly don't smack the child in public like a frigging neanderthal, because it is you, the parent, who is embarrassed and frustrated because you cannot control your child without an act of violence.

That crap is so idealistic that you would think it all came out of a think tank. Your child is supposed to obey you. Obedience is something that your child should learn very early on. This may sound rather controversial to some of the “love and logic” “choices” parents out there or whatever they call that new age parenting crap, but with some kids, you have literally to break their will.

I am not going to argue with and debate my child.

When I tell my child to do something, he is going to do it, he is not going to win.

That’s it, that is all there is to it.

I constantly see these bratty little kids running around telling their parents “NO” when their parents ask them to do something and then inevitably, those “love and logic” “choices” parents come back with: “Well Timmy do you think that is a good choice?”. It’s nothing but a game. Does anyone actually remember being a kid? I mean honestly, kids are very manipulative and with these little love and logic games, the kid will end up winning almost every time.

In our house we don’t play those kinds of games. If I tell our son to do something he does it. If he were to tell me no, which he doesn’t, then he would get a spanking. That’s the consequence of not obeying. No decent human being enjoys spanking their children, but sometimes, with some kids, it’s a necessity to impress upon them the fact that they are going to obey you and they are going to respect you and if you don’t impress that upon them early on, then its going to be hopeless once they are in their teens.

Am I the only one that has noticed that kids are less well behaved today than they were in the past and that is probably attributable to all this new age crap? The oldest generation now is what is commonly referred to as our “Greatest Generation”. The reason for this is that generation weathered the Great Depression and literally won the fight for civilization itself in World War II. Does anyone honestly think this new age parenting crap would raise a generation like that?

 

[goligoth]

That crap is so idealistic that you would think it all came out of a think tank. Your child is supposed to obey you. Obedience is something that your child should learn very early on. This may sound rather controversial to some of the “love and logic” “choices” parents out there or whatever they call that new age parenting crap, but with some kids, you have literally to break their will.

I am not going to argue with and debate my child.

When I tell my child to do something, he is going to do it, he is not going to win.

That’s it, that is all there is to it.

yep.....I'm a kid, if my parents hadn't spanked me, I would probably be in trouble 24/7....you might think I am joking but I'm not...I still get in trouble but I make sure that it is never enough for me to get in serious trouble....it's more of a slap on the wrist.....and that won't make me change my ways....

 

[earthworm]

But, southern democrat, is your child an animal or a human ?
The way they act at times, its hard to tell..:rofl

There is a lot of truth to Hoot's POV (point of view)...

My POV is to try to do what is best, what is effective and if necessary, this includes spanking..
This spanking is one facet of discipline, some children can be reasoned with, others ,like me, need to be hit !

A baby must be loved, they are totally innocent, but as the human grows, they also start to question; a healthy one will question everything - thus the discussions begin - maybe at year one,or earlier, even before the child can articulate words and thoughts..

This is also when the innocence is lost, when the child discovers, slowly, that the world is far from perfect.
So, it is vital to love first, then discuss things, then discipline, finally, as necessary, spank..
Always let the child know that you care, imperfectly of course, but that you care....

 

[Pacridge]

When I tell my child to do something, he is going to do it, he is not going to win.

That’s it, that is all there is to it.

Yes, that's it. All there is to it really.

But there are many ways to guide a child to do the things you want them to do without lowering yourself to violence.

I know it's not violenece it's just a slap, light slap. Or paddle, a light paddle- here and there to let them know who's boss. Sorry violence is violence. If you can't find a method to control your child without slapping and hitting them, it says a lot more about you and your level of patients then anything else.

 

[alphieb]

I spank my child as a last resort and I don't do it often. I don't have to, because he knows when I mean business. I do think there are other ways to punish a child aside from spanking, but when all else fails, sometimes you have to.