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Is it ok to spank your children?

Is it ok to spank children?

  • Yes

    Votes: 33 73.3%
  • No

    Votes: 12 26.7%

  • Total voters
    45

Synch

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Yes/no?

I know there are researches out there that link corporal punishment to suicide, violence, and lowered iq, etc, but they include the worst of the abuses, domestic violence, etc. what are your opinions on physically punishing children?
 

cherokee

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I dont see a problem with that.
Sometimes talking to a child just wont do it.
 

Kandahar

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Depends on the circumstance. If it's routine discipline, I don't think it's a big problem. If it borders on abuse, that's a different matter.

I don't think any studies have shown that spanking actually causes those things you mentioned; only that they're correlated. There's a lot we don't yet know about how much a parent's actions affect a child's behavior, but some evidence suggests that it hardly matters at all.

Violent/stupid parents are simply more likely to produce violent/stupid children.
 

jamesrage

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cherokee said:
I dont see a problem with that.
Sometimes talking to a child just wont do it.

I agree.Sending a child to their room these days is pointless unless you have a seperate circute breaker for their room with a pad lock on it.Not all children feer being grounded if all they got to do is sneak out.
 

Stace

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If it's within moderation, and it's what works to discipline your child, then, it's your call. Me personally, I don't believe in spanking, but I have very personal reasons for that.
 

Scarecrow Akhbar

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Within limits, yes. It's a hell of a thing to have to define in a law, though.

It's like the judge said about pornography, you know it's abusive when you see it.

It also depends on the child, and the parent. In some families, the kid could think a spanking means the parent is finally paying attention.
 
F

FallingPianos

Synch said:

yes, as long as its not excessive. its ok for the spanking to be painful, but if it does any actual damage it is excessive.

spanking should also never be done on an impulse. thats when it sends a bad message to children about using violence to solve disputes.
 

F41

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star2589 said:
spanking should also never be done on an impulse. thats when it sends a bad message to children about using violence to solve disputes.

I agree.

First, the child should know why he/she is about to be spanked. Sit down with them before you raise a hand to strike and calmly explain what they have done is wrong and why it is wrong. Spanking should only be done when you are not full of anger within yourself. If you do this you will find that you may not have to spank them again for the same offenses.

If you do not hurt yourself when you spank your child, you should not be the one to discipline them in this way.
 

Hoot

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I voted no. It's much better punishment to take something away that they love, whether it's little league practice, a party they were looking forward to, a favorite toy for a week, etc.

Spanking solves nothing when immediately after you say, "Ok, time to go to the party." Take away something important that means something to the child.
 

aps

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Hoot said:
I voted no. It's much better punishment to take something away that they love, whether it's little league practice, a party they were looking forward to, a favorite toy for a week, etc.

Spanking solves nothing when immediately after you say, "Ok, time to go to the party." Take away something important that means something to the child.

I like this reasoning, Hoot. I was spanked regularly by my father, as were two of my three siblings. The three of us that were spanked regularly by him, which was sometimes abusive, has affected all of our relationships with him. I have a hard time being affectionate with him. I feared him as a child. If we were late for dinner, we would get spanked. One day, I was hit by a car, and did not make it for dinner since I was on my way to the hospital in an ambulance. My father was waiting for me at home so that he could spank me when I walked in the door. Instead, a police officer showed up and told him where I was. He had terrible guilt (although it didn't stop him from spanking period). The hate in his eyes as he disciplined me still makes me sick. We weren't terrible children.

So think before you spank your kids. I think the sitting down and talking to your child right before he/she gets spanked is a terrible idea. I remember that kind of crap as well.
 

Scarecrow Akhbar

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ThePhoenix said:
If you do not hurt yourself when you spank your child, you should not be the one to discipline them in this way.

I refuse to hit my child so hard I raise blisters on my hand. But if that's what you require, could I use a gardening implement instead?
 

Deegan

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"Spare the rod, spoil the child" no words ring more true in my opinion, but the degree, the balance, these things are very important. I know many couples are now having children later in life, and these folks are a fine example of the golden rule, they often time forget this rule, and their children's behavior exemplify this alarmingly so.

I'll leave it at that for now, but I am sure others have seen this displayed time and again, and know exactly what I mean.:shock:
 

F41

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Scarecrow Akhbar said:
I refuse to hit my child so hard I raise blisters on my hand. But if that's what you require, could I use a gardening implement instead?
Are you kidding or are you so not understanding what I mean by that statement? If I must clarify this I will.

If you do not hurt within yourself when you spank your child and feel the emotional pain from having to do what you do not want to do, then you are not the one to spank your child, in other words if you enjoy spanking your child you should not have any children in the first place.
 

Apostle13

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I voted no for personal reasons... As a child being spanked short of beaten and all to often for unjust reasons I remember sitting in a dark closet at age 8 promising that if and when I had children they would never live this. I have two fine sons... One grown fully, one nearly (12) I have yet nor will I ever lay a hand on them for disciplinary sake... Neither have they given me reason. You just gotta hug'em alot... Thats key.
 

Apostle13

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ThePhoenix said:
Are you kidding or are you so not understanding what I mean by that statement? If I must clarify this I will.

If you do not hurt within yourself when you spank your child and feel the emotional pain from having to do what you do not want to do, then you are not the one to spank your child, in other words if you enjoy spanking your child you should not have any children in the first place.
I saw that in your original post, but I did have to do a double take... Glad you clarified it..:smile:
 

Scarecrow Akhbar

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ThePhoenix said:
Are you kidding or are you so not understanding what I mean by that statement? If I must clarify this I will.

If you do not hurt within yourself when you spank your child and feel the emotional pain from having to do what you do not want to do, then you are not the one to spank your child, in other words if you enjoy spanking your child you should not have any children in the first place.


I knew you would correct the ambiguity that I saw. Not that I didn't know what you meant, but you deserved to be spanked for that one.
 

aps

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Apostle13 said:
I voted no for personal reasons... As a child being spanked short of beaten and all to often for unjust reasons I remember sitting in a dark closet at age 8 promising that if and when I had children they would never live this. I have two fine sons... One grown fully, one nearly (12) I have yet nor will I ever lay a hand on them for disciplinary sake... Neither have they given me reason. You just gotta hug'em alot... Thats key.

Very cool, Apostle. You may be lucky in that you had kids who didn't need a lot of discipline. I think a light spanking could be okay, but the hitting with a belt is abusive. My father would pull my hair at times. I can't even stand to think about it because it disgusts me. I have a fine relationship with him. We get along beautifully when it comes to political discussions (we are both die-hard democrats). But I don't like talking about personal stuff with him because I have a hard time feeling emotionally close to him as a result of the harsh discipline he dished out.
 

tecoyah

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Oh Johnny, I love you so much....you make my life complete, just by being here. As your parent I want to be a role model, and show you how to act, I want to guide your little mind to help you become a great adult.......but, Now.....I need to hit you.
 

aquapub

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Spanking generally needs to be reserved for when the kid puts himself or others at serious risk by disobeying or something extreme like that, but kids need to know that that option for punishment exists and is available to parents.

BTW, those studies are, in a word, bunk. They are put together by infinitely hypothesizing academics largely detatched from the real world. That is why they always come up with conclusions that are so counterintuitive to the rest of us. It is also a big part of why so many academics are liberals. They don't live in the real world, they don't have to face the consequences of the ridiculous, unreasonable crap they advocate, and they have no clue how basic human nature works.

The greatest parenting abomination these people have produced to date is the 1980s trend of "being your child's friend instead of their authority figure."
 

aps

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aquapub said:
Spanking generally needs to be reserved for when the kid puts himself or others at serious risk by disobeying or something extreme like that, but kids need to know that that option for punishment exists and is available to parents.

BTW, those studies are, in a word, bunk. They are put together by infinitely hypothesizing academics largely detatched from the real world. That is why they always come up with conclusions that are so counterintuitive to the rest of us. It is also a big part of why so many academics are liberals. They don't live in the real world, they don't have to face the consequences of the ridiculous, unreasonable crap they advocate, and they have no clue how basic human nature works.

The greatest parenting abomination these people have produced to date is the 1980s trend of "being your child's friend instead of their authority figure."

Surprise surprise. Rather than solely address the issue at hand, aquapub had to make a partisan attack. Here I was reading your post thinking you sounded very practical. But then I got to your 2nd paragraph. Hey, let's make spanking kids about liberals and how they are an abomination to parenting. Pathetic, aquapub,....pathetic. :thumbdown
 

Hoot

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A personal story...I was visiting with my wife's sister and her husband.

Their kids were running through the house and screaming like little heathen savages. After about the third warning, with the kids still refusing to mind their father, they came tearing around the corner and tore a nice chunk of wood molding off the wall.

Their father gave them a good 2 or 3 swats on the bottom, and then 10 minutes later said..."Get your gear...time for little league practice." These kids lived and died for little league practice as they were both good players.

Want to really "hit 'em where it hurts?" Take that little league practice away. Spanking solves nothing.

My son loved roller blade hockey and speed skating. When he disobeyed his mother and I, we didn't spank him, we took away the roller blades and explained why we were taking his skates away.

Sure...he screamed and cried and threw a fit, but after 5 minutes, we warned him that if he didn't stop his tantrum, he would lose another hockey practice. I'm sure you can guess how quiet the house got?

Spanking is done by parents who do not want to take the time and effort into being good parents.
 

Pacridge

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Spanking's just another way of saying "I can not out think a four year old. I must give in, give up and lower myself to his/her level of thinking."
 
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Deegan

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Hoot said:
A personal story...I was visiting with my wife's sister and her husband.

Their kids were running through the house and screaming like little heathen savages. After about the third warning, with the kids still refusing to mind their father, they came tearing around the corner and tore a nice chunk of wood molding off the wall.

Their father gave them a good 2 or 3 swats on the bottom, and then 10 minutes later said..."Get your gear...time for little league practice." These kids lived and died for little league practice as they were both good players.

Want to really "hit 'em where it hurts?" Take that little league practice away. Spanking solves nothing.

My son loved roller blade hockey and speed skating. When he disobeyed his mother and I, we didn't spank him, we took away the roller blades and explained why we were taking his skates away.

Sure...he screamed and cried and threw a fit, but after 5 minutes, we warned him that if he didn't stop his tantrum, he would lose another hockey practice. I'm sure you can guess how quiet the house got?

Spanking is done by parents who do not want to take the time and effort into being good parents.

I disagree, and it's people like yourself that frustrate other parents who have tried everything to reach their children, and desperately want them on the right track. To suggest that every child is the same, or that what works for one child, will always work for another, this is a ridiculous assumption. I am certainly glad to hear that there are children that can be disciplined with out a spanking, but unfortunately all children are not the same, and respond differently to punishment.

That said, spanking should only be used to get the child's attention, and to show him/her that you are indeed serious. It should also never be the only form of punishment, nor should it ever leave the child with bruises or welts. It should never be easy to spank your child, it should be something that you indeed use as a last resort, as I said, when you are having trouble reaching them, or getting their undivided attention.

It is indeed a tireless, thankless job to be a parent sometimes, and it takes a long time to ever see the results of your parenting. You can only hope you did all you could to teach your children all they need to know to survive in this world, and that's the best you can hope for sometimes.
 

Hoot

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Deegan said:
I disagree, and it's people like yourself that frustrate other parents who have tried everything to reach their children, and desperately want them on the right track. To suggest that every child is the same, or that what works for one child, will always work for another, this is a ridiculous assumption. I am certainly glad to hear that there are children that can be disciplined with out a spanking, but unfortunately all children are not the same, and respond differently to punishment.

That said, spanking should only be used to get the child's attention, and to show him/her that you are indeed serious. It should also never be the only form of punishment, nor should it ever leave the child with bruises or welts. It should never be easy to spank your child, it should be something that you indeed use as a last resort, as I said, when you are having trouble reaching them, or getting their undivided attention.

It is indeed a tireless, thankless job to be a parent sometimes, and it takes a long time to ever see the results of your parenting. You can only hope you did all you could to teach your children all they need to know to survive in this world, and that's the best you can hope for sometimes.

Hey, you can always try ritalin, because that's the next step for parents that believe in spanking...put the kid on drugs. ( Sarcasm. LOL)

I will agree there are times a young toddler may not be old enough to reason with. There may be times when a slap on the wrist gets the point across, especially in cases where the toddler wanders blindly into the street..etc. However, older children can be dealt with in ways that do not involve physical abuse.
 

Deegan

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Hoot said:
Hey, you can always try ritalin, because that's the next step for parents that believe in spanking...put the kid on drugs. ( Sarcasm. LOL)

I will agree there are times a young toddler may not be old enough to reason with. There may be times when a slap on the wrist gets the point across, especially in cases where the toddler wanders blindly into the street..etc. However, older children can be dealt with in ways that do not involve physical abuse.

I agree with that, the older they get, the less effective spankings become. I know when I reached a certain age, I said to myself, hmmmm, if I do this, and then I get caught, all I'll get is a spanking, I can deal with that. My parents picked up on that fast, and then they came up with more creative punishments, i.e groundings, extra chores, no allowance, etc.
 
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