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Is being gay a choice?

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aps

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One thing I ask heterosexuals is whether being a heterosexual is a choice for them.

Our sexuality is part of our make-up. I never thought about whether I was attracted to men or women--I just knew I was attracted to men (I'm a woman). With gay people, it's the same thing. We cannot help to what/whom we are attracted. It just happens.

What do you all think? Is being gay a choice?

For those who say it is, please also answer this question: Do you believe that people CHOOSE to be humiliated and frowned upon by society?
 

Technocratic_Utilitarian

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There is no evidence it is a choice, however it is highly unlike that it is, since it is very hard to get an erection over a man, when you only like women. If you can, nice =D

If any of those anti-gay straights wanna admit they get frequent erections when guys walk by, I would like them to mention it.
 
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teenonfire4him77

I believe it is a choice.

No one wants that to be humliated and/or frowned on.
If someone wants to openly practice their orientation in a society that looks down upon it, its on them. Some argue that it is some genetic make-up that is invovled with that, i think thats a bunch of crap.
You choose to like someone of your gender, or you can choose not to.
 

Connecticutter

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So I think what we're coming to is this:

Sexual Orientation is not a choice (it is determined by some combination of genetics and experiances - probably more by genetics in my opinion, but either way, its not a choice.)

Behavior is a choice. You can choose who your partners are. Is it right to expect a gay person to live a heterosexual life? Well, maybe not, but its at least physically possible for them to do it.
 

Missouri Mule

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I think that gays are demon possessed. It is the only possible excuse for their behavior.

Actually, I'm just kidding (really). I have come to believe it is hard wired into their brains. I don't pretend to understand it but the evidence certainly points in that direction.

What I wish as a heterosexual is that everyone's sex life be kept in the closet where it belongs. I don't really need to hear about it. When I start having it crammed down my throat is when I get pissed off. To gays, I say do your own thing (within the law.) I don't want to be constantly reminded about it. It's none of my damned business and I have a right to say enough is enough. Shut up about it, already.
 
Y

y not peace?

I believe it is a choice.
well not that i am defending a personal issue, but how would you know unless you are gay. Ive heard of gay men that wish they could be attracted to women, but they simpley CANT....its not a choice.



Its like for straight men. It is simply not possible for me to be attrcated to men. I just seem to be attracted to breasts, nice butts, and so on and so fourth.

So to conclude: don't asume something unless you have been in that situation before (well as least for this subject).
 
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As a gay man I think I can answer this question. I have never at anytime been sexually attracted to women..I've never been abused, I grew up in a religious family, I never knew anyone gay growing up, yet I've never been sexually attracted to women. There really is no way to explain it other than genetics. There are those who believe that they are gay partially by choice or because of certain psychological and enviornmental factors from their upbrining which I can understand however that is not the case for every homosexual.
 

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never the less
any religion allowing gays and woman entrance to positions in the heirarchy are going against gods word , protestants bingo sanctioned
and that goes for pediphile priest too, catholics bingo sanctioned

protestants are splintered Catholics too
all is loss and the down fall of these 2 churchs will be inevitable

good riddens to
more hate crimes and wars have been sanctioned by the catholics then hitler
himself

zionist evangelist a rag tag off shoot of protestants with a twisted scofield bible these people scare me
 

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Missouri Mule said:
I think that gays are demon possessed. It is the only possible excuse for their behavior.

Actually, I'm just kidding (really). I have come to believe it is hard wired into their brains. I don't pretend to understand it but the evidence certainly points in that direction.

What I wish as a heterosexual is that everyone's sex life be kept in the closet where it belongs. I don't really need to hear about it. When I start having it crammed down my throat is when I get pissed off. To gays, I say do your own thing (within the law.) I don't want to be constantly reminded about it. It's none of my damned business and I have a right to say enough is enough. Shut up about it, already.
Actually, I couldnt agree with you more. I know, shocker huh? I dont see straights touting their "pride" over being straight. I have a real hard time with "pride" festivals and parades because it just seem garish and serves to perpetuate the stereotype. However, I do think it is necessary to overcome prejudice, but I think that can be done without talking about your sex life. I think if more gays worked to integrate through similarities rather than focus on differences then maybe we wouldnt have such a hard time getting the legal recognition (notice I said recognition, not protection) that is appropriate.
 
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jallman said:
Actually, I couldnt agree with you more. I know, shocker huh? I dont see straights touting their "pride" over being straight. I have a real hard time with "pride" festivals and parades because it just seem garish and serves to perpetuate the stereotype. However, I do think it is necessary to overcome prejudice, but I think that can be done without talking about your sex life. I think if more gays worked to integrate through similarities rather than focus on differences then maybe we wouldnt have such a hard time getting the legal recognition (notice I said recognition, not protection) that is appropriate.

To be fair here, and I'm sure that you realize, that many who march in the parades are genuinley there out of their desire for equality and behave in a proper and dignified manner. There certainly are those who go for sex, drugs, and booze but they are not representative of our culture. Heterosexuals tend to act as an irritant at these festivals and marches which only breeds more lude and outrageous behaviour. For example, I've been to several marches and parades here in Columbus and I've seen some terrible and often inflamitory actions done on the part of heterosexual protesters. Last year there was a man, who along with a group of other heterosexual men and women, lit a gay pride flag on fire and chanted "death to gays" while it burned. Then he tossed a gallon of gasoline on one of the marchers and taunted her with a match. Of course one of the officers finally noticed it and he was arrested but those kinds of things are what drive our community to behave innapropriatley, often times out of anger.
 
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teenonfire4him77

y not peace? said:
well not that i am defending a personal issue, but how would you know unless you are gay. Ive heard of gay men that wish they could be attracted to women, but they simpley CANT....its not a choice.



Its like for straight men. It is simply not possible for me to be attrcated to men. I just seem to be attracted to breasts, nice butts, and so on and so fourth.

So to conclude: don't asume something unless you have been in that situation before (well as least for this subject).
Because in the past, I choose to be Lesbian/bi(well i guess was more or less bi, cause i desired both sexually but i leaned twoards girls a bit more)...I thought wow, i couldnt help but look at girls butts all the time and dream about them touching me and kissing me all over etc...
Once I gave my life over to Christ, I had no desire to do those things anymore. I choose not to be a lesbian/bi...and I am quite content with that.
 
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aps

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teenonfire4him77 said:
I believe it is a choice.

No one wants that to be humliated and/or frowned on.
If someone wants to openly practice their orientation in a society that looks down upon it, its on them. Some argue that it is some genetic make-up that is invovled with that, i think thats a bunch of crap.
You choose to like someone of your gender, or you can choose not to.
Hmmm, I might have thought the same thing when I was 15 years old.

Is your heterosexuality a choice? Did you consciously decide that you were attracted to the opposite sex?

**I asked you this prior to seeing your post above.
 
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aps

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Connecticutter said:
So I think what we're coming to is this:

Sexual Orientation is not a choice (it is determined by some combination of genetics and experiances - probably more by genetics in my opinion, but either way, its not a choice.)
I agree.

Behavior is a choice. You can choose who your partners are. Is it right to expect a gay person to live a heterosexual life? Well, maybe not, but its at least physically possible for them to do it.
So why is the behavior to choose a member of the opposite sex somehow better than the behavior to choose a member of the same sex?

What do you mean by "physically possible for them to do it"? Do what?
 

aps

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y not peace? said:
well not that i am defending a personal issue, but how would you know unless you are gay. Ive heard of gay men that wish they could be attracted to women, but they simpley CANT....its not a choice.

Its like for straight men. It is simply not possible for me to be attrcated to men. I just seem to be attracted to breasts, nice butts, and so on and so fourth.

So to conclude: don't asume something unless you have been in that situation before (well as least for this subject).
Great answer. I totally agree. I think when people cannot relate to someone's circumstance (or are incapable of standing in their shoes), they really don't have a good perspective. I have had extensive conversations with gay people and the agony they went through to come to terms with being gay is heartbreaking. One of them had their parents just disown him. Some of them had friends terminate their relationships with them.

One of my girlfriends stopped going to her hairdresser because she found out that she (the hairdresser) was gay and she didn't want to think that the hairdresser was looking at her. I asked her, "Is every man attracted to you?" She said, "No." I asked, "Then why would you assume that just because she liked women that she would find you appealing?" Ah, the ignorance of people.
 

aps

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Napoleon's Nightingale said:
As a gay man I think I can answer this question. I have never at anytime been sexually attracted to women..I've never been abused, I grew up in a religious family, I never knew anyone gay growing up, yet I've never been sexually attracted to women. There really is no way to explain it other than genetics. There are those who believe that they are gay partially by choice or because of certain psychological and enviornmental factors from their upbrining which I can understand however that is not the case for every homosexual.
Napoleon, beautifully stated. I think your true sexuality is not something that you can control. No one wakes up one day and says to themselves, "I'm going to be attracted to men or women." It is something that is within us.

I have a friend who is a lesbian by default. She was sexually abused by her father and then a man in college sodomized her. So she hates men, but her true attraction is to men, but she cannot trust them, so she's a lesbian.
 

aps

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jallman said:
Actually, I couldnt agree with you more. I know, shocker huh? I dont see straights touting their "pride" over being straight. I have a real hard time with "pride" festivals and parades because it just seem garish and serves to perpetuate the stereotype. However, I do think it is necessary to overcome prejudice, but I think that can be done without talking about your sex life. I think if more gays worked to integrate through similarities rather than focus on differences then maybe we wouldnt have such a hard time getting the legal recognition (notice I said recognition, not protection) that is appropriate.
Hmmm. That is an interesting concept.

One of the things that is interesting to me is that people were against desegregation way back when. Well, now we have it, but it took time for people to get used to it. I went to college in the late 1980s. I was in Houston, Texas. When I went to smaller towns in Texas and told them I was in Houston, many people would say, "Aren't there a lot of blacks there?" I would say, "So what?" Anyway, my point is that I believe gay people want people to be exposed to their lifestyle so that they can come to terms with it and learn to accept it.
 
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aps said:
Hmmm. That is an interesting concept.

One of the things that is interesting to me is that people were against desegregation way back when. Well, now we have it, but it took time for people to get used to it. I went to college in the late 1980s. I was in Houston, Texas. When I went to smaller towns in Texas and told them I was in Houston, many people would say, "Aren't there a lot of blacks there?" I would say, "So what?" Anyway, my point is that I believe gay people want people to be exposed to their lifestyle so that they can come to terms with it and learn to accept it.

I agree with that assesment however I don't believe that it's wise to traumatize the world into accepting us. It's far wiser and more productive to ease the world into it, not at a snails pace mind you, than to attempt to make every change at once. Unfortunatley we do not have the same level of protection under the law so expressing ourselves too much results in brutalization. Many heterosexuals deny this fact and say that we are treated equally in the court of law but there are dozens and dozens of cases which show otherwise. For example, the murderer of Joel Rolbes used the infamous "gay panic" defense and was sentanced to only 3 years in prison for the acctual murder and an additional 1 year for using scissors as a weapon. Outrageous? You bet. This is why we have to be careful.
 

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Napoleon's Nightingale said:
I agree with that assesment however I don't believe that it's wise to traumatize the world into accepting us. It's far wiser and more productive to ease the world into it, not at a snails pace mind you, than to attempt to make every change at once. Unfortunatley we do not have the same level of protection under the law so expressing ourselves too much results in brutalization. Many heterosexuals deny this fact and say that we are treated equally in the court of law but there are dozens and dozens of cases which show otherwise. For example, the murderer of Joel Rolbes used the infamous "gay panic" defense and was sentanced to only 3 years in prison for the acctual murder and an additional 1 year for using scissors as a weapon. Outrageous? You bet. This is why we have to be careful.
Napoleon, I believe that in time, gay marriage will be accepted by the states.

P.S. That hate crime is despicable!
 

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Re: Is being gay a choice? yes

jallman said:
I dont see straights touting their "pride" over being straight.
Straight or normal people never hide in closets either.
Napoleon's Nightingale said:
I've been to several marches and parades here in Columbus and I've seen some terrible and often inflamitory actions done on the part of heterosexual protesters.
Have the homosexuals in actup ever done anything to harass people that speak out against the perversion of homosexuality? Yes
The first killing to be labeled a thrill killing in America was done by two homosexuals.

If it was not a choice to be a perverted homosexual then they would not attempt to hide it.
 

Technocratic_Utilitarian

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I believe it is a choice.

No one wants that to be humliated and/or frowned on.
If someone wants to openly practice their orientation in a society that looks down upon it, its on them. Some argue that it is some genetic make-up that is invovled with that, i think thats a bunch of crap.
You choose to like someone of your gender, or you can choose not to.

No one wants to be humiliated and/or frowned on, therefore, I believe they go out and do it on purpouse and get humiliated or frowned upon, even though this sentence is self-contradicting.

You choose to like someone of your gender, or you can choose not to. THis obviously means that I, the big manly stud, can easily choose sex with a man. I just don't!

See how fun stupid comments are!
 

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Re: Is being gay a choice? yes

DHard3006 said:
Straight or normal people never hide in closets either.

Have the homosexuals in actup ever done anything to harass people that speak out against the perversion of homosexuality? Yes
The first killing to be labeled a thrill killing in America was done by two homosexuals.

If it was not a choice to be a perverted homosexual then they would not attempt to hide it.
Oh dear, where do these loons come from? Please show me links to this first thrill killing. I would be interested to see what qualifies as a thrill killing. And please do tell me what this harassment is also.

I do not hide anything about myself, but nor do I flaunt it in a rude way. You on the other hand, are an affront to all civility.
 
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Re: Is being gay a choice? yes

jallman said:
Oh dear, where do these loons come from? Please show me links to this first thrill killing. I would be interested to see what qualifies as a thrill killing. And please do tell me what this harassment is also.

I do not hide anything about myself, but nor do I flaunt it in a rude way. You on the other hand, are an affront to all civility.

Apparently DHard3006 has never heard of Matthew Shephard.
 

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aps said:
So why is the behavior to choose a member of the opposite sex somehow better than the behavior to choose a member of the same sex?

What do you mean by "physically possible for them to do it"? Do what?
I think you may have misinterpreted what I was saying. I do not believe that choosing a member of the opposite sex is somehow superior.

The point I was trying to make is that a homosexual can choose to avoid sexual contact with members of the same gender. It's a choice in that sense.

That being said, I think it is wrong to expect gay individuals to do that. You're just going to make a lot of people miserable.
 

aps

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Connecticutter said:
I think you may have misinterpreted what I was saying. I do not believe that choosing a member of the opposite sex is somehow superior.

The point I was trying to make is that a homosexual can choose to avoid sexual contact with members of the same gender. It's a choice in that sense.

That being said, I think it is wrong to expect gay individuals to do that. You're just going to make a lot of people miserable.
Ahhh, I gotcha. Thanks for taking the time to explain what you meant. Our sexuality is not something any of us control. Whether any of us act on our sexuality is a choice.
 

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The thing that really bothers me is how people complain about homosexuals and public display of affection. They demand that gays need to keep it in their own home, or even that it must be illegalized altogether.

Why do people say this? Well, they back it up by saying that it's "gross and disgusting", "morally wrong", or "against their religion". I do agree that any form of public affection should be limited (or removed), since we don't need to see that behavior regardless of gender or sexuality. I disagree with it being 'morally wrong'. It may be wrong to you, but it's not to them. If they thought that kissing another member of the same sex was wrong, would they still do it? Finally, the main thing that bothers me is how people complain that homosexuality is against their religion. I'm tempted to start critiquing these people on their following of the Bible's other areas. If they're able to judge others for not following the old Jewish Code, then they can certainly obey their parents and authorities in all cases, deny their mind of all sexual thoughts, and never envy their peers, right?

I suppose that public display of affection among homosexuals should be ceased, but on one condition. The same must go for heterosexuals. Homosexual or not, it's still rude and unnecessary.
 
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