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Iraqi Cop Moonlighting As Terrorist Just To Make Ends Meet

Missouri Mule

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MIDDLE EAST

Iraqi Cop Moonlighting As Terrorist Just To Make Ends Meet

BAGHDAD—When the hot evening sun sets over Baghdad, Sulieman Hassim does not go home to his wife and family. For this Iraqi, the work day has only just begun.
Hassim waves several Total Islamic War coworkers through a checkpoint.

Above: Hassim waves several Total Islamic War coworkers through a checkpoint.

http://www.theonion.com/images/451/article3311.jpg

Hassim, 32, is a two-year veteran of the Baghdad police force. Despite earning "danger pay," he still struggles to stay afloat financially, and has had to take on a second job as a terrorist just to make ends meet.

"After my electricity and water supply were restored, I suddenly had a lot more bills to pay," Hassim said. "Jobs are still pretty scarce, but I figured terrorists are always hiring."

Hassim, who has previously supplemented his income with such part-time jobs as guarding gas-fueled turbines from insurgents and driving a taxi, said he was initially unsure that he was qualified for terrorist work.

"My buddy Abdullah [Bahri] worked at the Brotherhood Of Total Islamic War, and he said he'd put in a good word for me with the head sheik," Hassim said. "I didn't expect to hear back for a while, but before I knew it, I got an interview."

While Hassim had worried that his lack of experience and his creased suit would hurt his chances of being hired, he later said "the only thing they seemed to care about was whether I had a car."

Although happy to have extra work, Hassim is not always able to fulfill his duties as a terrorist, resulting in some unexpected complications.

"Last week, I couldn't work a suicide-bombing shift because I had to be alive early the next morning for patrol duty," Hassim said. "I was calling everyone, but I had a hell of a time trying to find someone to replace me. At the last minute, Fathi [Abd al-Khalid] agreed to take the shift. That guy's such a martyr."

(Snip)

http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/...heonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133&n=3

http://www.theonion.com/images/451/article3312_411x311.jpg
 
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