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I'm mellowing out.

Short blog, but I'm gonna try to mellow out on this forum. I guess I can make that my very late New Year's goal.

I can sort of feel myself becoming far more aggressive post-wise overall, and I think I might as well try to dial that back a bit. Perhaps a fair amount of it is justified annoyance on my part, especially considering the state of the political sphere at this pointbut I am probably letting it all get to me too much. I think it's gonna be better for my mind in the long run to sort of try and chill out, as it were.

So here's to trying to deflate! 👍
 
That is rather tricky as we all read things differently. I can say something like "What a beauty" and it can be read positive or negative. Either mentioning the word queer is acceptable or not. I guess I will err on the side of not using it.

It's sort of like how one uses the word gay. I don't think the word gay is inherently bad, but if you use it in a negative sense, such as something like "Ha! You're gay!" or something of the sort, then it brings a negative conotation, through the intent of that word usage.

But not every situation is one-to-one, and sometimes people do misread intent, so there's blurred lines there to an extent.
 
That is rather tricky as we all read things differently. I can say something like "What a beauty" and it can be read positive or negative. Either mentioning the word queer is acceptable or not. I guess I will err on the side of not using it.

Yep, best not to use it at all and negate the chances of the other person using it to shrug or flounce in disgust, as is their particular want. Some people spend all day waiting for the opportunity to be offended and they will be sure not to miss an opportunity.
 
I decided a long time ago I didn't want online posting to take over my life. That was when I decided to only talk to nice people with respectful dialog. Anybody disses me they go on ignore. There are plenty of fine respectful people here whom with to engage plenty enough to provide the discussions I enjoy. After all, there is so much volume here it is not possible to read all the posts, so why not seek out only the highest quality? That means eliminating the trash posts.

I'm not trying to convince anybody of anything, just like to share my view, hear how others believe. Somebody who is all disgruntled and just looking for someone to dump on? I have no time for that, and I don't want that energy in my life. I already can tell what motivates them. No need to see more negativity. They go on ignore.

After I stopped interfacing with rude people, I found myself becoming far more mellow and understanding of others., less confrontational. And I like that energy. Functional communication, imagine that. The ones who want to make things personal? I kind of feel sorry for them. As they disrespect others, they are actually disrespecting themselves.

This is supposed to be about politics, not interpersonal issues. I don't come here for feuds, we/they, or stereotypes. I want to discuss topics and that causes me to research things and learn. The process results in being better informed and learning when I had things wrong. I like learning and correcting my own misconceptions.

Some people are able to clean up their act if asked nicely. Maybe the gruffness is simply habit that they can avoid. Sometimes I find somebody who is intelligent, but has an edge to them. I might PM them and let them know in the nicest way possible I appreciate some of what they say, but will cut off talking if they continue to disrespect me. That usually runs about 50-50. Some respond to a message like that, others just double down. If they double down then I have no qualms over placing them on ignore.

I might go days without posting. I might spend a few hours here at a time. It's what I decide, not a habit I can't control. I feel like I have arrived at a healthy way to enjoy this place. I can truly take or leave it.

Oh......MY.......lmao.
Thanks for sharing all of that. Illuminating.
(y):LOL:(y)
 
Oh......MY.......lmao.
Thanks for sharing all of that. Illuminating.
(y):LOL:(y)
You're welcome.

It feels awesome to be at peace with my posting style.

A side benefit is that it has made me a more understanding person IRL. I noticed that when I used to engage on the personal level in a forum, that energy carried over into the rest of my life and my relationships with others. And conversely, after I ended online argument for the sake of argument it became easier to keep my cool IRL. IRL, distance is the same as forum ignore. People who have bad energy are best kept at a distance, or at least minimize interfacing with them. In my own circle of friends and acquaintances, the ones I hold the closest are the ones that reflect the best energy back to me.

I never expected wisdom of life to be garnished from online posting but there it was. I truly love all of humanity. It's just that some are best loved from a distance.
 
Yeah, I go through that cycle myself. I left for a while in 2020 and it took a while to return. Some of it seems to depend on what's going on in national politics, if I see a lot of stuff I want to hear and discuss, it draws me in.
I also don't like the antagonism, but I contribute to it some myself and I don't particularly like it. It's the anti-truth stuff that really gets under my skin. I don't experience that normally in day to day life with people, and so I'm very mellow and easygoing in person, I ignore faults and look for the positives. In political back and forth, when I see someone engaged in what seems like lying, I lose respect for them I suppose.

It's good to see you back on the forums though, and I hope you find a happy balance.
 
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