I need to pay more attention...

[tacomancer]

So, I am laying here trying to go to sleep and I have one of those holy crap moments.

Over the last month ...

There was the girl I mentioned in another thread that we were kind of interested in each other. Ended up having that whole feeling each other out discussion that people who are interested in each other have. We both decided no.

There was another girl who is also a coworker, we ended up having the same type of discussion, but neither of us ended up being interested in each other. (even though I liked her best of all though, she is actually my type, but it just wasn't the right time and didn't feel right, maybe at some point in the future, I dunno)

There was that tattoo artist who was interested in me, but I wasn't interested in her, but she made a pretty obvious pass at me trying to get me to ask her out (she literally flinched when I changed the subject and tone, it was a bit painful to watch her reaction). (this one was the most surprising, since people like that are at the top of the "cool" food chain and typically have their pick of people (she looked a bit like "abbie" from NCIS). She was a really sweet person and had some really interesting stories, but, I can't say I felt interest.

There was the waitress at my favorite restaurant who kept finding excuses to visit my table whenever I went there and kept trying to strike up conversations with me. She was way too young though, she has to be about 25, and not my type at all, but she is cute and its pretty flattering.

There was the grandma who tried to set me up with a blind date with her grand daughter.

A few girls I did some test flirting with and most of them responded positively, but I never know what to do with that sort of thing when it starts, I really don't know how to talk to women.

Whenever I wear a tighter shirt, I can think of at least four instances where I was checked out by someone in parking lots or whatever.

So all of this hits me at once. I am doing better than I expected. None of these things were really sought after.

Is this much attention normal for single people? Seriously, I have spent most of my life in one relationship after another, I have been out of one for almost four months now, my longest dry spell yet (and I haven't really been in the mood for one lately), so I never paid attention to this kind of stuff. It just surprises me is all, I still am trying to flatten my stomach (even though I can wear a tighter shirt and it looks ok enough), so my looks aren't all that great.

Sad thing is, it didn't hit me until now, that all this started happening the moment I stopped looking for someone. Maybe the old saying is true.

 

[sbrettt]

So, I am laying here trying to go to sleep and I have one of those holy crap moments.

Over the last month ...

There was the girl I mentioned in another thread that we were kind of interested in each other. Ended up having that whole feeling each other out discussion that people who are interested in each other have. We both decided no.

There was another girl who is also a coworker, we ended up having the same type of discussion, but neither of us ended up being interested in each other. (even though I liked her best of all though, she is actually my type, but it just wasn't the right time and didn't feel right, maybe at some point in the future, I dunno)

There was that tattoo artist who was interested in me, but I wasn't interested in her, but she made a pretty obvious pass at me trying to get me to ask her out (she literally flinched when I changed the subject and tone, it was a bit painful to watch her reaction). (this one was the most surprising, since people like that are at the top of the "cool" food chain and typically have their pick of people). She was a really sweet person and had some really interesting stories, but, I can't say I felt interest.

There was the waitress at my favorite restaurant who kept finding excuses to visit my table whenever I went there and kept trying to strike up conversations with me. She was way too young though, she has to be about 25, and not my type at all, but she is cute and its pretty flattering.

There was the grandma who tried to set me up with a blind date with her grand daughter.

Whenever I wear a tighter shirt, I can think of at least four instances where I was checked out by someone in parking lots or whatever.

So all of this hits me at once. I am doing better than I expected. None of these things were really sought after.

Is this much attention normal for single people? Seriously, I have spent most of my life in one relationship after another, I have been out of one for almost four months now, my longest dry spell yet (and I haven't really been in the mood for one lately), so I never paid attention to this kind of stuff. It just surprises me is all, I still am trying to flatten my stomach (even though I can wear a tighter shirt and it looks ok enough), so my looks aren't all that great.

Sad thing is, it didn't hit me until now, that all this started happening the moment I stopped looking for someone. Maybe the old saying is true.

LOL honestly I am a little jealous that you notice those things. I rarely notice when someone is interested until they end up being borderline in my face about it or a friend tells me they noticed. It makes me wonder how many opportunities I didn't notice. Don't take it for granted. :] Longest I've been single was almost 2 years. (There was a few flings here and there, but nothing worth calling a relationship.) I think am way too picky for my own good, and I don't really seek out relationships. Just thought I would share since you did.

 

[tacomancer]

LOL honestly I am a little jealous that you notice those things. I rarely notice when someone is interested until they end up being borderline in my face about it or a friend tells me they noticed. It makes me wonder how many opportunities I didn't notice. Don't take it for granted. :] Longest I've been single was almost 2 years. I think am way too picky for my own good, and I don't really seek out relationships. Just thought I would share since you did.

Here are something I do know:

I can be a snappy dresser when I want to be. I am good with color, shape, and lines.

I have a good frame 6'4", broad shouldered, naturally somewhat muscular. My biggest problem is that I have about 20lbs of fat on my belly I need to get rid of yet.

I have a good personality and sense of humor. When I get going, everyone around me is laughing and having fun. Especially if i am slightly tipsy.

I can tell a hell of a story and I have had so many experiences in my life at this point, I always have another story.

My face is at least average or above average. Especially since I grew the beard and started almost shaving my head. A good pair of sunglasses makes for a nice look.

My personal style is slightly edgy, but not overwhelmingly so or in any trashy sort of way. A my good friend puts it, I give of a constant hint of, I know how to take care things as a vibe.

But I suck at a few things too.

Whenever people who are interested in each other talk, 80% of whats being said is never said in words. I have no idea how to navigate that language and respond to it. I can say the right words all day long, but I seem to suck at the emotional interchange, so I say it wrong. I am starting to learn though as I have been going through past conversations and realizing what I should have done instead. But hell three years ago, such a thing would have been entirely outside my realm of thought.

I don't always realize why people say what they say, their intent, so I respond awkwardly.

a few other things. Basically as the conversation gets more interpersonal, I am further and further outside what I know and make big social mistakes.

Those are the things I need to work on, being a better conversationalist, I think. If nothing else, I could always use more friends.

This lack of conversational ability is becoming more and more obvious though, since women seem to be everywhere (women are nowhere when I am the mood the life sucks and are everywhere when I am cheerful, thats something else I am noticing) and I don't know what to do with them. I wouldn't have minded dating the tattoo artist for example (it would have been a fun adventure I think, to see the world from her eyes), but I didn't even realize she was communicating her interest until a friend told me the next day when I describe the situation and couldn't understand her reaction.

 

[Lutherf]

So, I am laying here trying to go to sleep and I have one of those holy crap moments.

Over the last month ...

There was the girl I mentioned in another thread that we were kind of interested in each other. Ended up having that whole feeling each other out discussion that people who are interested in each other have. We both decided no.

There was another girl who is also a coworker, we ended up having the same type of discussion, but neither of us ended up being interested in each other. (even though I liked her best of all though, she is actually my type, but it just wasn't the right time and didn't feel right, maybe at some point in the future, I dunno)

There was that tattoo artist who was interested in me, but I wasn't interested in her, but she made a pretty obvious pass at me trying to get me to ask her out (she literally flinched when I changed the subject and tone, it was a bit painful to watch her reaction). (this one was the most surprising, since people like that are at the top of the "cool" food chain and typically have their pick of people (she looked a bit like "abbie" from NCIS). She was a really sweet person and had some really interesting stories, but, I can't say I felt interest.

There was the waitress at my favorite restaurant who kept finding excuses to visit my table whenever I went there and kept trying to strike up conversations with me. She was way too young though, she has to be about 25, and not my type at all, but she is cute and its pretty flattering.

There was the grandma who tried to set me up with a blind date with her grand daughter.

A few girls I did some test flirting with and most of them responded positively, but I never know what to do with that sort of thing when it starts, I really don't know how to talk to women.

Whenever I wear a tighter shirt, I can think of at least four instances where I was checked out by someone in parking lots or whatever.

So all of this hits me at once. I am doing better than I expected. None of these things were really sought after.

Is this much attention normal for single people? Seriously, I have spent most of my life in one relationship after another, I have been out of one for almost four months now, my longest dry spell yet (and I haven't really been in the mood for one lately), so I never paid attention to this kind of stuff. It just surprises me is all, I still am trying to flatten my stomach (even though I can wear a tighter shirt and it looks ok enough), so my looks aren't all that great.

Sad thing is, it didn't hit me until now, that all this started happening the moment I stopped looking for someone. Maybe the old saying is true.

Well.....it could just be paranoia:lol:

 

[sbrettt]

Here are something I do know:

I can be a snappy dresser when I want to be. I am good with color, shape, and lines.

I have a good frame 6'4", broad shouldered, naturally somewhat muscular. My biggest problem is that I have about 20lbs of fat on my belly I need to get rid of yet.

I have a good personality and sense of humor. When I get going, everyone around me is laughing and having fun. Especially if i am slightly tipsy.

I can tell a hell of a story and I have had so many experiences in my life at this point, I always have another story.

But I suck at a few things too.

Whenever people who are interested in each other talk, 80% of whats being said is never said in words. I have no idea how to navigate that language and respond to it. I can say the right words all day long, but I seem to suck at the emotional interchange, so I say it wrong. I am starting to learn though as I have been going through past conversations and realizing what I should have done instead. But hell three years ago, such a thing would have been entirely outside my realm of thought.

I don't always realize why people say what they say, their intent, so I respond awkwardly.

a few other things. Basically as the conversation gets more interpersonal, I am further and further outside what I know and make big social mistakes.

Those are the things I need to work on, being a better conversationalist, I think. If nothing else, I could always use more friends.

This lack of conversational ability is becoming more and more obvious though, since women seem to be everywhere and I don't know what to do with them. I wouldn't have minded dating the tattoo artist for example, but I didn't even realize she was communicating her interest until a friend told me the next day when I describe the situation and couldn't understand her reaction.

LOL at the bolded part. I think the 80% you mentioned is body language. From what I understand that's the most important thing whether you're trying to figure out if a women is interested, or if someone's going to hire you. I hate playing therapist, but I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say it's possible a problem you encounter is feeling pressure in those situations. This is where I think not being able to pick up on a women being interested can be advantageous because if you don't think she's interested you don't feel any pressure. Moral of the story is I think it's true that if you're actively looking for a relationship you're less likely to find one, but I am sure there are many exceptions.

 

[lizzie]

SoSad thing is, it didn't hit me until now, that all this started happening the moment I stopped looking for someone. Maybe the old saying is true.

Yes, I tend to believe the old saying is true.

It seems pretty common for something to just fall in your lap when you aren't looking. Makes things interesting and fun.

 

[sangha]

What I've found is that as I've gotten older, I've become more attractive to women.

Children still run away screaming.

LOL at the bolded part. I think the 80% you mentioned is body language. From what I understand that's the most important thing whether you're trying to figure out if a women is interested

 

[sbrettt]

What I've found is that as I've gotten older, I've become more attractive to women.

Children still run away screaming.

What happened to the first video!?

 

[sangha]

What happened to the first video!?

I thought this one more to the point.

Just go to YouTube and search for "indicators of interest". There are hundreds of them (videos)

 

[sbrettt]

I thought this one more to the point.

Just go to YouTube and search for "indicators of interest". There are hundreds of them (videos)

Nah, the first one was better.

 

[sangha]

 

[tacomancer]

LOL, this may be useful. I would be much happier if I stop going "oh wait... damn" thirty minutes later.

 

[Gipper]

Boy am I lucky I found someone...

Now we just have to wait for me to screw it up. There's a pool going on in the other room. Five bucks a square.

 

[tacomancer]

Boy am I lucky I found someone...

Now we just have to wait for me to screw it up. There's a pool going on in the other room. Five bucks a square.

So ... is that new Don Jon movie a biography of Gipper?

 

[SmokeAndMirrors]

Is this much attention normal for single people? Seriously, I have spent most of my life in one relationship after another, I have been out of one for almost four months now, my longest dry spell yet (and I haven't really been in the mood for one lately), so I never paid attention to this kind of stuff. It just surprises me is all, I still am trying to flatten my stomach (even though I can wear a tighter shirt and it looks ok enough), so my looks aren't all that great.

Sad thing is, it didn't hit me until now, that all this started happening the moment I stopped looking for someone. Maybe the old saying is true.

In terms of genuinely interested (I don't count some random idiot on the street acting like an animal), yes, I get a lot more attention when I'm single.

I can only assume it has something to do with my own demeanor, or perhaps my own perception.

Perhaps there is something different about how I hold myself or how I talk to guys when I'm single.

Or, perhaps, I am simply more likely to pick up on their signals when I'm not involved with someone else.

Not sure exactly what it is, but I do experience this.

 

[Gardener]

It seems pretty common for something to just fall in your lap when you aren't looking.

You have no idea the amount of control it is taking me right now to avoid turning this one into a cheap double entendre.

Since we are already there, though, I just hope for your sake that proper measures are being taken by way if aiming.

 

[Gipper]

So ... is that new Don Jon movie a biography of Gipper?

Not gonna lie...haven't seen a trailer of it, but I've seen a few commercials. It really hits home.

Makes ya wonder.

 

[lizzie]

You have no idea the amount of control it is taking me right now to avoid turning this one into a cheap double entendre.

Since we are already there, though, I just hope for your sake that proper measures are being taken by way if aiming.

I don't sit enough for many things to fall in my lap. It makes my joints hurt.