What you're describing is severe OCD.How can I get over my OCD and become a normal person?
My guess? You came to the wrong place.I have suffered from OCD for almost my entire life. I first noticed it after about age 10, when I really started having anxiety, and it has kind of come and gone. I always have some of the symptoms, but they flare up and get worse or better depending on the day. I know my fears are irrational, but because of bad things happening that reinforce my fears, I keep struggling with OCD compulsions. For example, I had the compulsion that if I didn't touch my seatbelt a certain amount of times, something bad would happen, and next thing you know, I fell and hurt my back, therefore reinforcing my belief. So obviously I don't want to test this with death because I would go to hell and suffer for eternity. I am so afraid of dying. that certain words make me scared I will die. For example, if I hear the word atheist, I get so nervous I start to sweat, even though there's not even a strong biblical basis for this fear. I still think it will send me to hell.
I think this fear stems from my childhood and Mom telling me I would go to hell for committing suicide or cussing. I also watched lots of biblical media growing up, so hell felt like a common theme. Fast forward to today, I am addicted to porn and constantly sin. I know I'm a horrible person, and I will most likely go to hell, but I feel that by performing these OCD rituals, I am delaying my death, so I won't go to hell. I know people on this forum will tell me to quit believing in hell, but if I became an atheist, my fear of death would only get worse. I know because I used to be an atheist, and even if I got over my fear of death, my OCD would just manifest as another fear. My problems with OCD will most likely persist unless I get professional help. But unfortunately, I still live with my mother, who listens to me at all times, so I can't tell the therapists about how my mom caused my anxiety in fear of my mom screaming at me and giving me an anxiety attack, so I feel trapped with my OCD and unable to escape it.
How can I get over my OCD and become a normal person?
Start by recognizing that despite your respect, and ongoing dependence on your mother, she does not have the answers for your life, so learn to ignore her council. Train yourself to forget what you've been conditioned to believe, because your beliefs have failed to serve you well. Begin byHow can I get over my OCD and become a normal person?
First thing...grow a set of balls.I have suffered from OCD for almost my entire life. I first noticed it after about age 10, when I really started having anxiety, and it has kind of come and gone. I always have some of the symptoms, but they flare up and get worse or better depending on the day. I know my fears are irrational, but because of bad things happening that reinforce my fears, I keep struggling with OCD compulsions. For example, I had the compulsion that if I didn't touch my seatbelt a certain amount of times, something bad would happen, and next thing you know, I fell and hurt my back, therefore reinforcing my belief. So obviously I don't want to test this with death because I would go to hell and suffer for eternity. I am so afraid of dying. that certain words make me scared I will die. For example, if I hear the word atheist, I get so nervous I start to sweat, even though there's not even a strong biblical basis for this fear. I still think it will send me to hell.
I think this fear stems from my childhood and Mom telling me I would go to hell for committing suicide or cussing. I also watched lots of biblical media growing up, so hell felt like a common theme. Fast forward to today, I am addicted to porn and constantly sin. I know I'm a horrible person, and I will most likely go to hell, but I feel that by performing these OCD rituals, I am delaying my death, so I won't go to hell. I know people on this forum will tell me to quit believing in hell, but if I became an atheist, my fear of death would only get worse. I know because I used to be an atheist, and even if I got over my fear of death, my OCD would just manifest as another fear. My problems with OCD will most likely persist unless I get professional help. But unfortunately, I still live with my mother, who listens to me at all times, so I can't tell the therapists about how my mom caused my anxiety in fear of my mom screaming at me and giving me an anxiety attack, so I feel trapped with my OCD and unable to escape it.
How can I get over my OCD and become a normal person?
The best advice I could give you is talk to someone qualified to give you advice.I have suffered from OCD for almost my entire life. I first noticed it after about age 10, when I really started having anxiety, and it has kind of come and gone. I always have some of the symptoms, but they flare up and get worse or better depending on the day. I know my fears are irrational, but because of bad things happening that reinforce my fears, I keep struggling with OCD compulsions. For example, I had the compulsion that if I didn't touch my seatbelt a certain amount of times, something bad would happen, and next thing you know, I fell and hurt my back, therefore reinforcing my belief. So obviously I don't want to test this with death because I would go to hell and suffer for eternity. I am so afraid of dying. that certain words make me scared I will die. For example, if I hear the word atheist, I get so nervous I start to sweat, even though there's not even a strong biblical basis for this fear. I still think it will send me to hell.
I think this fear stems from my childhood and Mom telling me I would go to hell for committing suicide or cussing. I also watched lots of biblical media growing up, so hell felt like a common theme. Fast forward to today, I am addicted to porn and constantly sin. I know I'm a horrible person, and I will most likely go to hell, but I feel that by performing these OCD rituals, I am delaying my death, so I won't go to hell. I know people on this forum will tell me to quit believing in hell, but if I became an atheist, my fear of death would only get worse. I know because I used to be an atheist, and even if I got over my fear of death, my OCD would just manifest as another fear. My problems with OCD will most likely persist unless I get professional help. But unfortunately, I still live with my mother, who listens to me at all times, so I can't tell the therapists about how my mom caused my anxiety in fear of my mom screaming at me and giving me an anxiety attack, so I feel trapped with my OCD and unable to escape it.
How can I get over my OCD and become a normal person?
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