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I need help

lolbert

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I have suffered from OCD for almost my entire life. I first noticed it after about age 10, when I really started having anxiety, and it has kind of come and gone. I always have some of the symptoms, but they flare up and get worse or better depending on the day. I know my fears are irrational, but because of bad things happening that reinforce my fears, I keep struggling with OCD compulsions. For example, I had the compulsion that if I didn't touch my seatbelt a certain amount of times, something bad would happen, and next thing you know, I fell and hurt my back, therefore reinforcing my belief. So obviously I don't want to test this with death because I would go to hell and suffer for eternity. I am so afraid of dying. that certain words make me scared I will die. For example, if I hear the word atheist, I get so nervous I start to sweat, even though there's not even a strong biblical basis for this fear. I still think it will send me to hell.

I think this fear stems from my childhood and Mom telling me I would go to hell for committing suicide or cussing. I also watched lots of biblical media growing up, so hell felt like a common theme. Fast forward to today, I am addicted to porn and constantly sin. I know I'm a horrible person, and I will most likely go to hell, but I feel that by performing these OCD rituals, I am delaying my death, so I won't go to hell. I know people on this forum will tell me to quit believing in hell, but if I became an atheist, my fear of death would only get worse. I know because I used to be an atheist, and even if I got over my fear of death, my OCD would just manifest as another fear. My problems with OCD will most likely persist unless I get professional help. But unfortunately, I still live with my mother, who listens to me at all times, so I can't tell the therapists about how my mom caused my anxiety in fear of my mom screaming at me and giving me an anxiety attack, so I feel trapped with my OCD and unable to escape it.

How can I get over my OCD and become a normal person?
 
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My guess? You came to the wrong place.
 
Seek treatment and good luck.
 
I smashed a dead bug on my computer screen, and now my hands are dirty. I tried and struggled to clean them properly. This is torture; I can't get my hands clean. This is life with OCD.
 
But unfortunately, I still live with my mother, who listens to me at all times, so I can't tell the therapists about how my mom caused my anxiety in fear of my mom screaming at me and giving me an anxiety attack

Why not?
 
lolbert said:
How can I get over my OCD and become a normal person?
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Start by recognizing that despite your respect, and ongoing dependence on your mother, she does not have the answers for your life, so learn to ignore her council. Train yourself to forget what you've been conditioned to believe, because your beliefs have failed to serve you well. Begin by
abandoning any belief in the bible at all. Recognize that it is only the word of man - not of god. That will put the entire content into a better, more useful context.

The CREATOR of the cosmos - of time and space and matter - is not a petty, capricious, genocidal, misogynistic, jealous, racist, and vengeful being. The creators of the bible were all those things, and worse, because they were merely men. The god of the bible was created in their image - not the other way around.

The author of the universe is not the author of that book. Once you recognize and accept that fact, all of the shame, confusion, guilt and fear that originates from believing in it will be free to fall away, and you will probably be reduced to just the good person that you are, without the damaging baggage that your belief has chained you to. Things are not as they have seemed for your entire life. Free yourself to look anew.
 
I cannot comment on the mental health question as I have no expertise there.

However, if you fear going to hell and depressed then pray and ask God to lead you to a better place. My suggestion (up to you) is to leave the definition of “a better place” open ended and for God to decide on as I suspect anyone in your situation will probably go down a surprising road to a better space.

As a second item, I suggest praying for salvation and forgiveness while asking for help. In a situation like yours, getting to a better place may take a long while. Many people make the mistake of asking for help first and then seeking salvation later but never quite getting there.

Unfortunately all I can offer is this advice.
 
First thing...grow a set of balls.

Second...tell mom to **** off.

btw, why would you smash a dead bug? Me? I'd smash the live bug.
 
Norman Bates, is that you?
 
The best advice I could give you is talk to someone qualified to give you advice.

Barring that if you are OCD is a symptom of a greater issue typically comes from inability feel like you're in control. show if your OCD is a symptom start thinking about what you feel like you don't have control over.
 
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