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I don't hate Tom

Just thought I'd put that out there. And my confrontation with Bubba was unfortunate. I am not unhappy. When I read his post, I PMd him to see if he was kidding or serious. "Serious" was his only reply. So I had at him. As I said, unfortunate.

I forgive myself this kind of outburst because I know I'm dealing with a terminal illness. I think I'm dealing with it very well. And, if you can believe it, I'm busy and happy. I try not to think about what the future holds, because it's probably not going to be pretty. But I'll deal with it as I've dealt with everything my whole life. If I have to put on one-size larger of "big-girl panties" though...." Ha!

And I don't hate Tom, which is what Bubba alluded to. I know why he did what he did. As I know I've told ya' all, he has macular degeneration. He's going blind. I think he was scared for his own future. He was counting on me to be there for him. The best I could do was to leave him a sizeable chunk of money. It wasn't enough.

I'm doing great, though. My doctor suggested Xanax for that awful self-talk we've all listened to that causes us to obsess. It has changed my life. It starts acting within 15 minutes, and it lasts about four hours. I might take a half pill twice a day. After it wears off, it's as if I'm been rebooted, if you will. Better living through chemistry.

I apologize for starting all the drama in the place that shall remain nameless by mistakenly calling out Cuban. And apologize in advance if I feel compelled to post again.

Thanks for listening.
 
hang in there kid and don't let the bastards get you down. You are going to make it and outlive us all.
 
Which Bubba? if I can ask.

I found St Johns Wort works for a short time but might have negative interactions with your other medications.

Ignore the morons they are not worth your time
 
When did you figure out what happened to Tom? You do know that the way this tends to go is "I dont have that much quality life of my own to live, I cant use up many of those years taking care of someone who is dying"

But either way he could have left the relationship with honor, but did not.
 
I don't know much about this or what interaction who had with others on the board about it. But I do know that you can be counted on to have your head on straight Maggie. And you are an inspiration I would guess to pretty much all of us.
 
Oh, that is sooo sweet, AlbuOwl. You made my day.
 
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