how old should someone be before having sex? (1 Viewer)

[FallingPianos]

how old should the average person be before having sex? 13? 15? 19? 30?...

 

[vergiss]

Minimum of 16, but it varies from person to person. The 25-year-old morons out there having unsafe sex with anything that lies still long would still be virgins if there was any justice in this world. :roll:

 

[Kandahar]

Old enough to understand what they're doing and to practice safe sex. For most people that would be between 14-16 but it varies from person to person.

 

[ngdawg]

18 at least. The body at 16 isn't mature, the mind even less so. My feeling is, if you don't know how what you have works, can't speak about it without giggling if at all and don't want your parents to know, you're too young.

 

[ngdawg]

Old enough to understand what they're doing and to practice safe sex. For most people that would be between 14-16 but it varies from person to person.

14????? Have you ever dealt with those kids??? They can't even say the word 'penis' without getting all embarrassed. Trust me, at 14 they do NOT know what they're doing. I worked with that age, they were engaging in sex play and clueless.

 

[Kandahar]

18 at least. The body at 16 isn't mature, the mind even less so. My feeling is, if you don't know how what you have works, can't speak about it without giggling if at all and don't want your parents to know, you're too young.

I'm 26, and I still don't speak about it without giggling and still don't want my parents to know. :lol:

 

[FallingPianos]

14????? Have you ever dealt with those kids??? They can't even say the word 'penis' without getting all embarrassed. Trust me, at 14 they do NOT know what they're doing. I worked with that age, they were engaging in sex play and clueless.

I've seen some exceptions. a 15 year old girl graduated from highschool with me. not only did she have the highest GPA in our class of 40, but she acted our age if not older. but generally speaking you are totally correct.

 

[cherokee]

I would hope 18...
f I had a little girl then the answer would be never!..lol Or maybe after I'm dead...lol

 

[ngdawg]

I've seen some exceptions. a 15 year old girl graduated from highschool with me. not only did she have the highest GPA in our class of 40, but she acted our age if not older. but generally speaking you are totally correct.

My son is 14 and thinks like a 30 year old, but he is certainly NOT ready for sex. I'd be willing to bet that 15 year old wasn't messing around. With the kids I worked with (and it was a public middle school, so all types of kids), it seemed that the lower academic ones were the ones most active.

 

[mikhail]

The smart ones are smart enough to make people think butter wouldnt melt in their mouth and thats the truth.

Isnt it a bit silly to say someone is so mature they know their not ready for sex because they are not mature enough?

I would say 16 the legal age at least were i am is reasonable but the thing is ultametly its up to them.

Its not always fair to judge by your own standards some people are just have more sexual desire than others.

I dont have kids but if i do i dont really want to have a relationship with them that means they have to humour me by lying.

 

[JustineCredible]

This is an extremely relevant thread:

As the parent of a seventeen year old son, I still don't think he or his sixteen year old girlfriend are EMOTIONALLY mature enough to be engaging in sex. I know my son, I know he wears his heart on his sleeve. I know he still turns various shades of pink when there's sexually explicit scenes in movies and television.
He's not ready.
But I'm not so stupid as to think he and his girlfriend haven'thad sex. I know they have, but they've also been stupid enough to get caught!
Because my son has a huge and loving family we dealt with this reality in a loving and mature way. We talked to him about the realities of engaging in sex. HER family on the other hand took a less mature approach. They forbade her from seeing my son, or ANY of her friends for an entire summer!
OUCH

Do you think that put out their desire to be together?
Heck no. As soon as her punishment was lifted, they were back together. Granted, not ever allowed to be alone together for any length of time...
But her parents and my partner and I did have a sit down and we both aired our concerns about the kids.

 

[americanwoman]

I would vote other- when that person is emotionally ready and informed about safe sex. I think I lost mine too young and I'm sorry I did. I also think parents need not shy away from talking to their kids so they don't make a mistake like that.

 

[mixedmedia]

I would vote other- when that person is emotionally ready and informed about safe sex. I think I lost mine too young and I'm sorry I did. I also think parents need not shy away from talking to their kids so they don't make a mistake like that.

I agree with americanwoman....it's not so much age, although preferably I think one should be at least 18 and living independently. I started having sex much too early as well, and while I was certain I was mature enough to handle it (and socially I was mature for my age), emotionally I was not equipped to handle it. Love and lust and the resulting consequences, both good and bad, that come with being intimate with someone are very powerful and young minds are usually not equipped to process them rationally. There are probably rare exceptions though....

And that said, I don't think sex at young ages necessarily causes a lot of damage....just that it isn't ideal. Young people should be young. With sex comes a lot of adult baggage - anxieties, worries, concerns, fears.

 

[FallingPianos]

My son is 14 and thinks like a 30 year old, but he is certainly NOT ready for sex. I'd be willing to bet that 15 year old wasn't messing around.

she had lots of friends, but no one wanted to date her sinse she was so much younger, even though they all admitted that she acted their age rather than her own. she had no interest in dating the people her own age.

With the kids I worked with (and it was a public middle school, so all types of kids), it seemed that the lower academic ones were the ones most active.

in middle school that would make sense, but I'm talking about highschool. I would be very cautious about making such an assumption at that age.

 

[FallingPianos]

I'm not so stupid as to think he and his girlfriend haven'thad sex. I know they have, but they've also been stupid enough to get caught!

so tell me, is catching your kids in the act as embassasing as having your parents catch you?

off topic, but i've always wondered...

and I agree that most 17 year olds arent ready. even if they're responsible enough to use protection (many aren't), many arent emotionally mature enough to be able to deal with how that effects ones relationships and whatnot.

 

[FallingPianos]

Love and lust and the resulting consequences, both good and bad, that come with being intimate with someone are very powerful and young minds are usually not equipped to process them rationally. There are probably rare exceptions though....

And that said, I don't think sex at young ages necessarily causes a lot of damage....just that it isn't ideal. Young people should be young. With sex comes a lot of adult baggage - anxieties, worries, concerns, fears.

another side to this, is that some people wont learn how powerful those consequences are until they mess up with someone, no matter how old they are. I think that if someone is mature enough to be responsible, and mature enough that messing up wouldnt be a tramatic experience, its better to let them learn from their own mistakes.

 

[FallingPianos]

I would hope 18...
f I had a little girl then the answer would be never!..lol Or maybe after I'm dead...lol

no grandchildren for you.

 

[mikhail]

I would vote other- when that person is emotionally ready and informed about safe sex. I think I lost mine too young and I'm sorry I did. I also think parents need not shy away from talking to their kids so they don't make a mistake like that.

i dunno what does emotionally ready mean i wanted to have sex when i was like 14 with someone who wanted to and BAM 2yrs later there was.

But to be honest im sure one day i will feel ive met the love of my life and obvously it would be nice if i could have lost my virginity to her but then i would have wondered about other girls.

Everyone makes mistakes they learn from in many aspects of their life but nobody really has that much control over their children and if they do there is something quite disturbing about that.

 

[mixedmedia]

another side to this, is that some people wont learn how powerful those consequences are until they mess up with someone, no matter how old they are. I think that if someone is mature enough to be responsible, and mature enough that messing up wouldnt be a tramatic experience, its better to let them learn from their own mistakes.

Absolutely, but there is nothing wrong with sharing a little learned wisdom. Not that I'm under any illusion that advice is often taken, most especially by teens. I know I wasn't listening....

 

[FallingPianos]

Absolutely, but there is nothing wrong with sharing a little learned wisdom. Not that I'm under any illusion that advice is often taken, most especially by teens. I know I wasn't listening....

I think teens listen more than parents give them credit for, and more than they realize themselves. My parents telling me not to have premarital sex didnt stop me from eventually doing so, but it did stop me from doing so when I would have been too young to handle it.

of course, in highschool I didnt think I was listening to my parents advise at all, because they didnt even want me kissing unless it was nothing more than a peck.

 

[ngdawg]

i dunno what does emotionally ready mean i wanted to have sex when i was like 14 with someone who wanted to and BAM 2yrs later there was.

But to be honest im sure one day i will feel ive met the love of my life and obvously it would be nice if i could have lost my virginity to her but then i would have wondered about other girls.

Everyone makes mistakes they learn from in many aspects of their life but nobody really has that much control over their children and if they do there is something quite disturbing about that.

It shouldn't be a matter of 'control' if one brings their kids up decent enough. Even a two year old learns choice/consequence to some extent and it's up to the parents to instill that as their kids grow.
Kids CAN be smart enough to know they're not mature enough for sex-that's the point. Too often it's the not so smart ones that start earlier and regret it more later.

 

[FallingPianos]

Isnt it a bit silly to say someone is so mature they know their not ready for sex because they are not mature enough?

I dont think so. Everyone has their limitations on what type of situations they can handle being in, and one should know what their limitations are.

 

[Real Korimyr #9]

another side to this, is that some people wont learn how powerful those consequences are until they mess up with someone, no matter how old they are. I think that if someone is mature enough to be responsible, and mature enough that messing up wouldnt be a tramatic experience, its better to let them learn from their own mistakes.

That's the only way people ever really learn anything. "Maturity" is nothing more than the accumulated weight of your scars-- you make a mistake and get burned, and then you generally avoid making that same mistake again.

Why do you think I'm so critical of peoples' attempts to shelter their children too much? They're never growing up...

 

[mixedmedia]

I think teens listen more than parents give them credit for, and more than they realize themselves. My parents telling me not to have premarital sex didnt stop me from eventually doing so, but it did stop me from doing so when I would have been too young to handle it.

of course, in highschool I didnt think I was listening to my parents advise at all, because they didnt even want me kissing unless it was nothing more than a peck.

Well, I tend to think most people at whatever age tend to engage in selective listening. Some listen more than others.

But the flood of emotion and desire that comes along with love can drown out the words of advice directed towards even many adults, let alone teens. I remember my teen years well. I see my own teen daughters and recognize that same emotional naivete. Nothing wrong with it, it is completely natural. But fact is, with maturity comes a grounding and wisdom that MOST teens don't possess.

 

[FallingPianos]

"Maturity" is nothing more than the accumulated weight of your scars-- you make a mistake and get burned, and then you generally avoid making that same mistake again.

I disagree. what you said plays a large role, but it isnt the only factor. some of it is brain development, and some of it is lessons learned. of course, the two do mutually affect eachother, its not like each happens completely seperately.