How men look at women [W:749:1024]

[kerussll]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

I'd go so far as to say women are far MORE judgmental than men.

I'd also say the "impossible standards" are in many ways set and enforced by women too.

Men are extremely easy to please. Pay attention to us, feed us, sleep with us, and we're happy. Guys are not complicated.

The "image" that so many women feel they have to live up to is an "image" they've created and fostered themselves.

Women are a freakin complicated mess of turmoil and judgment.

Yes, this is absolutely something women need to work on too. I have to check my own judgments about what people wear. But I treat everyone with respect. Plenty of women like to gossip, and slut shame as much as men or more.

 

[davidtaylorjr]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

Well what does treating them like a slut mean to you?

Staring at their chest, butt, objectifiyng them in their mind, talking with them as sex objects with their buddies. This is why I wanted a PM discussion because people would assume things.

 

[kerussll]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

Staring at their chest, butt, objectifiyng them in their mind, talking with them as sex objects with their buddies.

Would this be something you would want your son to do, or would you want him to be respectful of everyone?

 

[Beaudreaux]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

And the message is what, exactly? She doesn't deserve your respect?

Of course she deserves my respect. I respect her right to wear what she wants to wear. I'm actually pretty impressed that she has the body and the confidence to wear such cloths. Good for her.

I do feel that she is wearing those pants to attract attention to her "asset". She, to me, is wearing those pants to show off her rear end, her sexiness, her sexual freedom. I don't have a problem with that.

If she gets upset because some men are looking at her butt, and not at something else??? That just doesn't make sense to me.

 

[kerussll]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

You are SOO wrong.

How can you say that these sweats aren't specifically designed to objectify the wearer?

View attachment 67153152

And that's just one example of many.

Obviously very subjective. But I don't see how that makes her an object.

 

[Dragonfly]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

Yes, this is absolutely something women need to work on too. I have to check my own judgments about what people wear. But I treat everyone with respect. Plenty of women like to gossip, and slut shame as much as men or more.

I've known more than a few occasions at work where women have been reprimanded for wearing "inappropriate clothing".

Guess who files those complaints.

 

[davidtaylorjr]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

Would this be something you would want your son to do, or would you want him to be respectful of everyone?

No, I would want him to be respectful. I said I agreed with the article to a point. What I DID SAY is that it isn't completely the responsibility of the man, women need to take responsibility for their actions too and quit complaining if they don't.

 

[Henrin]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

Obviously very subjective. But I don't see how that makes her an object.

The word juicy is on her butt. Isn't it a bit obvious?

 

[kerussll]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

Of course she deserves my respect. I respect her right to wear what she wants to wear. I'm actually pretty impressed that she has the body and the confidence to wear such cloths. Good for her.

I do feel that she is wearing those pants to attract attention to her "asset". She, to me, is wearing those pants to show off her rear end, her sexiness, her sexual freedom. I don't have a problem with that.

If she gets upset because some men are looking at her butt, and not at something else??? That just doesn't make sense to me.

No, I agree with you totally. She is probably showing off her butt to show off her butt. Nothing wrong with that. I seriously doubt she would be upset with anyone looking at her butt. But leering, prolonged uncomfortable staring, following, and general creeping is still disrespectful, totally the man's choice and responsibility, and not ok.

 

[kerussll]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

The word Juicy is on her butt. Isn't it a bit obvious?

Sorry, I mean to say suggestive, not subjective.

 

[Beaudreaux]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

I say wave your slut flag proud. There is nothing wrong with liking sex. If a man can be promiscuous and not be judged (actually they are judged favorably) why can't a woman. If you are doing it as something other than an expression of your own desire then check yourselves, but if it is a healthy expression of what you want go for it.

I agree, but that is a different argument. What I thought the discussion was about was the way a woman was objectified by men, which is wrong. Not that a sexually proud woman is looked at differently.

I like a woman that is sexually free. And promiscuity is fine for either sex, as long as it's not done while the person is in a committed relationship.

A man or woman, that is promiscuous while in a committed relationship is, IMHO, a person that deserves ridicule and shame.

 

[kerussll]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

No, I would want him to be respectful. I said I agreed with the article to a point. What I DID SAY is that it isn't completely the responsibility of the man, women need to take responsibility for their actions too and quit complaining if they don't.

A man being respectful is not completely the responsibility of the man? You are wrong there.

 

[Beaudreaux]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

No, I agree with you totally. She is probably showing off her butt to show off her butt. Nothing wrong with that. I seriously doubt she would be upset with anyone looking at her butt. But leering, prolonged uncomfortable staring, following, and general creeping is still disrespectful, totally the man's choice and responsibility, and not ok.

Then we agree totally. I'm glad.

 

[davidtaylorjr]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

A man being respectful is not completely the responsibility of the man? You are wrong there.

See you completely disregard that the women are ALSO at fault. You aren't being rational.

 

[Dragonfly]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

But leering, prolonged uncomfortable staring, following, and general creeping is still disrespectful, totally the man's choice and responsibility, and not ok.

So there's some invisible, undefined line that's constantly moving where one side of that line is okay, but the other side is different?

And that undefined, invisible, and constantly moving line is also different for every single lady walking around as well?

If you dress up with a specific purpose to get noticed, don't get angry when you get noticed.

If you're showing a crap load of cleavage, don't get angry when guys drop their eyes down to your chest. It's no secret we like boobs. We love them.
If you show them to us, we'll look.

 

[DiAnna]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

I liked the article and appreciate that there are still men in the world who look at women as actual people. However, as this thread shows, there are also men in this world who are still trapped in the judgmental, double-standard mode that they feel justifies them viewing women as sluts, tramps and whores, which allows said men to treat those women badly, then blame the women for their own behavior.

Behaving badly and blaming the victim of that bad behavior is what little boys do. Too many little boys are walking the streets in adult bodies nowadays. It's a pity.

 

[kerussll]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

See you completely disregard that the women are ALSO at fault. You aren't being rational.

No one can make you be disrespectful. I would hope you'd hold yourself and your son to a higher standard.

 

[OscarB63]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

I take issue with that. It's impossible to dress as an object.

I have to disagree, to a certain degree. If a woman is dressed such that the entire upper half of her breasts are bulging out the top or her ass cheeks are hanging out the bottom, that is going to draw attention whether she wants it or not. don't blame me for looking. I'd do the same if she had her hair spiked into a 10" high mohawk, or a guy was wearing a shirt that looked like he stole it from his kid brother's closet, or someone had a triple scoop ice cream cone tattooed on their face.

 

[davidtaylorjr]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

No one can make you be disrespectful. I would hope you'd hold yourself and your son to a higher standard.

So, would you let your daughter dress like that? Would you hold her responsible and to a higher standard?

 

[kerussll]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

So there's some invisible, undefined line that's constantly moving where one side of that line is okay, but the other side is different?

And that undefined, invisible, and constantly moving line is also different for every single lady walking around as well?

If you dress up with a specific purpose to get noticed, don't get angry when you get noticed.

If you're showing a crap load of cleavage, don't get angry when guys drop their eyes down to your chest. It's no secret we like boobs. We love them.
If you show them to us, we'll look.

Like I said, I've never heard of a girl showing cleavage or butt and getting mad at someone for looking. We are talking about something more than just an interested glance.

 

[kerussll]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

So, would you let your daughter dress like that? Would you hold her responsible and to a higher standard?

When she is an adult, she can dress however she wants. I would teach her to dress appropriately to work or church or anywhere where a dress code is expected to be followed, but on her own time wearing whatever she wants is her right. I will also teach her she holds no responsibility for other people's poor behavior.

 

[Henrin]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

Sorry, I mean to say suggestive, not subjective.

Tight pants with the word juicy on the butt. How is that not suggestive?

 

[OscarB63]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

What is "slut attire" for men? A button down shirt opened to the navel, a spray on tan and 50# of gold chains?

When I was in my 20's I did the whole white slacks, bright colored short sleeved shirts and white sandals thing. Don Johnson would have been jealous of me. Was I objectifying myself? HELL YES!!!!!

leather pants so tight you could tell I was circumsized.

 

[davidtaylorjr]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

When she is an adult, she can dress however she wants.

So no, you don't think women should hold themselves to a higher standard as well.....

 

[kerussll]

re: How men look at women [W:749]

I have to disagree, to a certain degree. If a woman is dressed such that the entire upper half of her breasts are bulging out the top or her ass cheeks are hanging out the bottom, that is going to draw attention whether she wants it or not. don't blame me for looking. I'd do the same if she had her hair spiked into a 10" high mohawk, or a guy was wearing a shirt that looked like he stole it from his kid brother's closet, or someone had a triple scoop ice cream cone tattooed on their face.

Of course it's going to draw attention, as it probably the point. How does that make her an object undeserving of respect?