• This is a political forum that is non-biased/non-partisan and treats every persons position on topics equally. This debate forum is not aligned to any political party. In today's politics, many ideas are split between and even within all the political parties. Often we find ourselves agreeing on one platform but some topics break our mold. We are here to discuss them in a civil political debate. If this is your first visit to our political forums, be sure to check out the RULES. Registering for debate politics is necessary before posting. Register today to participate - it's free!

How men look at women [W:749:1024]

kerussll

DP Veteran
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
1,589
Reaction score
730
Location
Colorado
Gender
Female
Political Leaning
Liberal
A friend posted this on facebook this morning, and I can't agree with it more. I'm tired of women being blamed for the independent thoughts and actions of others. I'm tired of the impossible standards put on women. The media say we have to be attractive and a little bit sexy in everything we do to be of any worth. Horrible things are said about us if we are not perceived to be attractive. That's the first thing people go to if they want to tear down or silence a woman. Call her ugly. But if we are sexy or too attractive in every day life we are whores undeserving of respect. And everyone claims we don't respect ourselves for some reason. As if our clothing choice could possibly speak to our level of respect or self esteem.

This does not just apply to men, as women can be just as judgmental. It's YOUR responsibility and your responsibility alone to see all people as people deserving of respect. To not objectify them in your mind.

Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son | From One Degree to Another | Nate Pyle

Discuss! I'm ready to be disappointed...
 

calamity

Privileged
Supporting Member
Monthly Subscriber
DP Veteran
Joined
Feb 12, 2013
Messages
141,025
Reaction score
45,401
Gender
Undisclosed
Political Leaning
Centrist
re: How men look at women [W:749]

I’m talking about another conversation. The one that happens after I catch his eye doing what male eyes do well – following an object of lust. We will probably be out at the mall, because that’s what dads do with their sons, and I’ll catch the look. Maybe we’ll go to the beach and see it. Doesn’t matter where it is, there will come a time when I will see it. And then it will be time for this conversation.

"Good eye. I'd hit it too, Son."
 

davidtaylorjr

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2013
Messages
6,775
Reaction score
1,123
Location
South Carolina
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Very Conservative
re: How men look at women [W:749]

A friend posted this on facebook this morning, and I can't agree with it more. I'm tired of women being blamed for the independent thoughts and actions of others. I'm tired of the impossible standards put on women. The media say we have to be attractive and a little bit sexy in everything we do to be of any worth. Horrible things are said about us if we are not perceived to be attractive. That's the first thing people go to if they want to tear down or silence a woman. Call her ugly. But if we are sexy or too attractive in every day life we are whores undeserving of respect. And everyone claims we don't respect ourselves for some reason. As if our clothing choice could possibly speak to our level of respect or self esteem.

This does not just apply to men, as women can be just as judgmental. It's YOUR responsibility and your responsibility alone to see all people as people deserving of respect. To not objectify them in your mind.

Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son | From One Degree to Another | Nate Pyle

Discuss! I'm ready to be disappointed...
Agree with the article to a point, but at the same time women should have some self-respect in what they wear. They shouldn't dress like objects, and then they won't get treated as such. Just saying.
 

kerussll

DP Veteran
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
1,589
Reaction score
730
Location
Colorado
Gender
Female
Political Leaning
Liberal
re: How men look at women [W:749]

Agree with the article to a point, but at the same time women should have some self-respect in what they wear. They shouldn't dress like objects, and then they won't get treated as such. Just saying.
I take issue with that. It's impossible to dress as an object.
 

davidtaylorjr

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2013
Messages
6,775
Reaction score
1,123
Location
South Carolina
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Very Conservative
re: How men look at women [W:749]

Why a PM? Are you ashamed of what you wrote to me? Cuz you really should be.
No like I said I was trying to be tactful, I'll post it here since you can't accept that.

There are girls who dress like sluts, then complain because they are looked at and treated as such. They should quit dressing and acting like sluts if they want to have some self-respect and not be treated as such. Not saying men are off the hook, but it is not just the man's problem, it is equally if not more, on the women.
 

opendebate

Banned
DP Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
7,317
Reaction score
2,926
Gender
Female
Political Leaning
Progressive
re: How men look at women [W:749]

Agree with the article to a point, but at the same time women should have some self-respect in what they wear. They shouldn't dress like objects, and then they won't get treated as such. Just saying.
Who's to decide when they cross that line?
 

Lutherf

Supporting Member
DP Veteran
Joined
Sep 16, 2012
Messages
38,166
Reaction score
45,084
Location
Tucson, AZ
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Conservative
re: How men look at women [W:749]

I take issue with that. It's impossible to dress as an object.
You are SOO wrong.

How can you say that these sweats aren't specifically designed to objectify the wearer?

juicy__oPt.jpg

And that's just one example of many.
 

opendebate

Banned
DP Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
7,317
Reaction score
2,926
Gender
Female
Political Leaning
Progressive
re: How men look at women [W:749]

No like I said I was trying to be tactful, I'll post it here since you can't accept that.

There are girls who dress like sluts, then complain because they are looked at and treated as such. They should quit dressing and acting like sluts if they want to have some self-respect and not be treated as such. Not saying men are off the hook, but it is not just the man's problem, it is equally if not more, on the women.
You are not getting it David. You have exhibited the very behavior that is the problem: you do not get to decide if a woman is a slut based on the way she chooses to dress.

There are girls who dress like sluts, Again, who decides when that is?

Also, do you have the same disrespect for a man who acts like a slut?
 

calamity

Privileged
Supporting Member
Monthly Subscriber
DP Veteran
Joined
Feb 12, 2013
Messages
141,025
Reaction score
45,401
Gender
Undisclosed
Political Leaning
Centrist
re: How men look at women [W:749]

No like I said I was trying to be tactful, I'll post it here since you can't accept that.

There are girls who dress like sluts, then complain because they are looked at and treated as such. They should quit dressing and acting like sluts if they want to have some self-respect and not be treated as such. Not saying men are off the hook, but it is not just the man's problem, it is equally if not more, on the women.
Yikes!

People can wear what they want in a casual setting. Life is not a job interview.

Are you suggesting we call someone wearing a bikini at the beach a slut for daring to be so bold? Come on. Be real.
 

Beaudreaux

Preserve Protect Defend
Supporting Member
DP Veteran
Joined
Sep 13, 2012
Messages
18,233
Reaction score
15,860
Location
veni, vidi, volo - now back in NC
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Undisclosed
re: How men look at women [W:749]

A friend posted this on facebook this morning, and I can't agree with it more. I'm tired of women being blamed for the independent thoughts and actions of others. I'm tired of the impossible standards put on women. The media say we have to be attractive and a little bit sexy in everything we do to be of any worth. Horrible things are said about us if we are not perceived to be attractive. That's the first thing people go to if they want to tear down or silence a woman. Call her ugly. But if we are sexy or too attractive in every day life we are whores undeserving of respect. And everyone claims we don't respect ourselves for some reason. As if our clothing choice could possibly speak to our level of respect or self esteem.

This does not just apply to men, as women can be just as judgmental. It's YOUR responsibility and your responsibility alone to see all people as people deserving of respect. To not objectify them in your mind.

Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son | From One Degree to Another | Nate Pyle

Discuss! I'm ready to be disappointed...
First, nature has wired male brains differently than women's when it comes to sexual attraction. That, however, is not an excuse or reason to act upon that attraction in an offensive, vulgar or aggressive way.

There is a difference between the way many women dress also. The trend, since the 1960's has been for women to wear cloths that accentuate and "uncover" the regions of their bodies that are sexual in the minds of men.

The way a woman dresses is her choice, IMHO. What she wants to project by the way she dresses is her choice as well. The same goes for men. Professional workplace cloths, recreational cloths, and casual cloths are all different, and make statements about the person differently.

As for women, this is overboard:


This would be, IMHO, the casual or potentially professional dress depending on the environment:


This, again IMHO, is very sexy and just fine (I like a woman in jeans; country boy in me I guess):


But... this is sending a message, again, IMHO:
 

TheGirlNextDoor


DP Veteran
Joined
Dec 21, 2009
Messages
20,033
Reaction score
7,647
Gender
Undisclosed
Political Leaning
Other
re: How men look at women [W:749]

You are not getting it David. You have exhibited the very behavior that is the problem: you do not get to decide if a woman is a slut based on the way she chooses to dress.

There are girls who dress like sluts, Again, who decides when that is?

Also, do you have the same disrespect for a man who acts like a slut?
Oh no...because men who are sluts are called "experienced" and women who do the same are called "whores ". It's the good old double standard.
 

davidtaylorjr

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2013
Messages
6,775
Reaction score
1,123
Location
South Carolina
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Very Conservative
re: How men look at women [W:749]

Yikes!

People can wear what they want in a casual setting. Life is not a job interview.

Are you suggesting we call someone wearing a bikini at the beach a slut for daring to be so bold? Come on. Be real.
Did you read the article in reference?
 

calamity

Privileged
Supporting Member
Monthly Subscriber
DP Veteran
Joined
Feb 12, 2013
Messages
141,025
Reaction score
45,401
Gender
Undisclosed
Political Leaning
Centrist
re: How men look at women [W:749]

You are SOO wrong.

How can you say that these sweats aren't specifically designed to objectify the wearer?

View attachment 67153152

And that's just one example of many.
Depends on how you define "objectify". To me the sweats accentuate.
 

kerussll

DP Veteran
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
1,589
Reaction score
730
Location
Colorado
Gender
Female
Political Leaning
Liberal
re: How men look at women [W:749]

No like I said I was trying to be tactful, I'll post it here since you can't accept that.

There are girls who dress like sluts, then complain because they are looked at and treated as such. They should quit dressing and acting like sluts if they want to have some self-respect and not be treated as such. Not saying men are off the hook, but it is not just the man's problem, it is equally if not more, on the women.
I'll quote your PM.

"Let's be honest, some women dress like sluts. They do. They dress like that to get attention, then complain when they get it. If they don't want to be looked at as a slut or treated like one, don't dress and act like one."

Every time I hear a man say something like this, I just imagine he's bitter the woman doesn't want his attention. :shrug: Yes, women dress for attention sometimes. That doesn't mean they have to be thrilled with you hitting on them. Maybe it's not your attention they're after just because you think she looks like a slut. It certainly doesn't mean they want to be treated like a slut. I shudder to think what that even means. Groping them? Assuming they want to go in the bathroom and do you right there? Harassing them for sex? I maintain the shocking position that men alone are responsible for their bad behavior.
 

davidtaylorjr

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2013
Messages
6,775
Reaction score
1,123
Location
South Carolina
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Very Conservative
re: How men look at women [W:749]

I'll quote your PM.

"Let's be honest, some women dress like sluts. They do. They dress like that to get attention, then complain when they get it. If they don't want to be looked at as a slut or treated like one, don't dress and act like one."

Every time I hear a man say something like this, I just imagine he's bitter the woman doesn't want his attention. :shrug: Yes, women dress for attention sometimes. That doesn't mean they have to be thrilled with you hitting on them. Maybe it's not your attention they're after just because you think she looks like a slut. It certainly doesn't mean they want to be treated like a slut. I shudder to think what that even means. Groping them? Assuming they want to go in the bathroom and do you right there? Harassing them for sex? I maintain the shocking position that men alone are responsible for their bad behavior.
Wow, you do a LOT of ASSUMING there seeing as I didn't say 90% of what you think I did. Who said anything about hitting on them? Who said anything about groping? Who said anything about any of that? Not me. Women dress like sluts shouldn't complain when guys see them as such. Period.
 

Henrin

Banned
DP Veteran
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
60,458
Reaction score
12,357
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Libertarian
re: How men look at women [W:749]

Yes, people are going to make assumptions about you based on how you dress. i don't see anything wrong with it.
 

kerussll

DP Veteran
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
1,589
Reaction score
730
Location
Colorado
Gender
Female
Political Leaning
Liberal
re: How men look at women [W:749]

First, nature has wired male brains differently than women's when it comes to sexual attraction. That, however, is not an excuse or reason to act upon that attraction in an offensive, vulgar or aggressive way.

There is a difference between the way many women dress also. The trend, since the 1960's has been for women to wear cloths that accentuate and "uncover" the regions of their bodies that are sexual in the minds of men.

The way a woman dresses is her choice, IMHO. What she wants to project by the way she dresses is her choice as well. The same goes for men. Professional workplace cloths, recreational cloths, and casual cloths are all different, and make statements about the person differently.

As for women, this is overboard:


This would be, IMHO, the casual or potentially professional dress depending on the environment:


This, again IMHO, is very sexy and just fine (I like a woman in jeans; country boy in me I guess):


But... this is sending a message, again, IMHO:
And the message is what, exactly? She doesn't deserve your respect? You have to realize how subjective this is. What you think is overboard, other cultures think is acceptable. The woman you like in jeans others would call a slut. Maybe it doesn't matter what we think of their clothes. They deserve our respect, and not our judgment.
 

Dragonfly

DP Veteran
Joined
Oct 18, 2007
Messages
22,856
Reaction score
12,818
Location
East Coast - USA
Gender
Undisclosed
Political Leaning
Centrist
re: How men look at women [W:749]

This does not just apply to men, as women can be just as judgmental. It's YOUR responsibility and your responsibility alone to see all people as people deserving of respect. To not objectify them in your mind.

I'd go so far as to say women are far MORE judgmental than men.

I'd also say the "impossible standards" are in many ways set and enforced by women too.

Men are extremely easy to please. Pay attention to us, feed us, sleep with us, and we're happy. Guys are not complicated.

The "image" that so many women feel they have to live up to is an "image" they've created and fostered themselves.

Women are a freakin complicated mess of turmoil and judgment.
 

opendebate

Banned
DP Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
7,317
Reaction score
2,926
Gender
Female
Political Leaning
Progressive
re: How men look at women [W:749]

Oh no...because men who are sluts are called "experienced" and women who do the same are called "whores ". It's the good old double standard.
I say wave your slut flag proud. There is nothing wrong with liking sex. If a man can be promiscuous and not be judged (actually they are judged favorably) why can't a woman. If you are doing it as something other than an expression of your own desire then check yourselves, but if it is a healthy expression of what you want go for it.
 

Lutherf

Supporting Member
DP Veteran
Joined
Sep 16, 2012
Messages
38,166
Reaction score
45,084
Location
Tucson, AZ
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Conservative
re: How men look at women [W:749]

Oh no...because men who are sluts are called "experienced" and women who do the same are called "whores ". It's the good old double standard.
What is "slut attire" for men? A button down shirt opened to the navel, a spray on tan and 50# of gold chains?

When I was in my 20's I did the whole white slacks, bright colored short sleeved shirts and white sandals thing. Don Johnson would have been jealous of me. Was I objectifying myself? HELL YES!!!!!
 

kerussll

DP Veteran
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
1,589
Reaction score
730
Location
Colorado
Gender
Female
Political Leaning
Liberal
re: How men look at women [W:749]

Wow, you do a LOT of ASSUMING there seeing as I didn't say 90% of what you think I did. Who said anything about hitting on them? Who said anything about groping? Who said anything about any of that? Not me. Women dress like sluts shouldn't complain when guys see them as such. Period.
Well what does treating them like a slut mean to you?
 

Lutherf

Supporting Member
DP Veteran
Joined
Sep 16, 2012
Messages
38,166
Reaction score
45,084
Location
Tucson, AZ
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Conservative
re: How men look at women [W:749]

Depends on how you define "objectify". To me the sweats accentuate.
Just my opinion, but she could use a little "accentuation".
 
Top Bottom