I think the inconsistencies may be a misunderstanding on my part.
I shuold probably explain why I care at all what she thinks. Last year, I had a class with her, and we were talking in a group of friends, and I made some remark about how its ridiculous how some people don't know where Maine was (a general remark), and I think she thought I was talking about her. After that, she totally shut down, and put head down. Afterwards, I talked to her friend to find out what happened, and it turns out she started crying. I explained I didn't mean it against her, and I think she's intelligent and all that.
I asked her friend and her sister about it, and she has a huge insecurity about her intelligence, and the way I act is pretty arrogant, as in I criticize people, around me. I honestly do it because I want them to do better, and shes on the mock trial team, where we have to criticize each other. A few weeks ago, I was talking to her, and she told me was afraid of what I thought of her, and I realized that what she goes for, at times, is my approval.
I'm also helping her with mock trial, and she really wants me to help her too, but I'm concerned I could do something tactless again and hurt her. That feeling really doesn't sit well with me, and shes honestly a really nice girl, so I'm trying to about this sensitively.
My goals are to provide a healthy amount of criticism for her on mock trial so she understands what she needs to do, without hurting her. I also want to make her more independent, and not care about other people's approval or whatever.