George_Washington
DP Veteran
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2005
- Messages
- 1,962
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- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Conservative
Hi everyone. I'm George Washington. Yes, the actual George Washington. Just wanted to say hi.
Story is, I've been sitting up in Heaven for 200 some years and I was bored out of my mind.
My day kind of goes like this. I get up, have a bowl of Heavenly Wheaties. They're like the Earthly Wheaties but just taste infinitely better. Then I take a shower in a waterfall of sparkling fairy dust, while bathing in a pond of brownie sprinkles (Hey, it's Heaven-what are you going to do about it.) Then I get dressed in a cool pair of Versace jeans and a t-shirt. I mostly wear t-shirts cause it's always pretty dry and warm up in Heaven, except on certain days when God throws a festival or something. Anyway, I walk over to the Moses Tavern on 38th St. I hang out with Ben Franklin, John Adams, and Thomas Jefferson. We play cards-Poker and other games-over glasses of Guinness Ale. Guinness up in Heaven tastes 100,000 times better than it does here and that's saying a lot, considering how good it is already!
I was hanging out with them yesterday when I leaned over to Ben and told him that I was feeling kind of bored and that I felt something was missing in my life. Being the hippie that he is, he told me to go smoke a blunt of Dragon's breath. I told him I just wasn't into that sort of thing.
So then he told me, "Dude, you have to get back down to Earth. At least for a little while."
I went to the big house on the hill and talked with God about it for a while.
He said, "You wanna go back down to Earth? That's cool, just make sure you do something productive."
So here I am, back on Earth. Since while I was here before, I basically had a career in the military, I tried to get back into it. I applied to the US Army but they have a strict age limit as to who can join. I then thought about running for political office again but both of the major parties told me I couldn't, due to the modern laws of term limits. Plus they told me they've made a habit of only endorsing people who are alive; the dead don't count. So I decided to come on this forum and talk about politics and share things I've learned with you folks. I am looking forward to having a good time.
As my ex-wife Martha used to say (we separated after 50 years of living comfortably in Heaven's upper east side), "If you get nervous speaking in public, just remember that they're probably laughing at your wooden teeth and now what you're actually saying."
Story is, I've been sitting up in Heaven for 200 some years and I was bored out of my mind.
My day kind of goes like this. I get up, have a bowl of Heavenly Wheaties. They're like the Earthly Wheaties but just taste infinitely better. Then I take a shower in a waterfall of sparkling fairy dust, while bathing in a pond of brownie sprinkles (Hey, it's Heaven-what are you going to do about it.) Then I get dressed in a cool pair of Versace jeans and a t-shirt. I mostly wear t-shirts cause it's always pretty dry and warm up in Heaven, except on certain days when God throws a festival or something. Anyway, I walk over to the Moses Tavern on 38th St. I hang out with Ben Franklin, John Adams, and Thomas Jefferson. We play cards-Poker and other games-over glasses of Guinness Ale. Guinness up in Heaven tastes 100,000 times better than it does here and that's saying a lot, considering how good it is already!
I was hanging out with them yesterday when I leaned over to Ben and told him that I was feeling kind of bored and that I felt something was missing in my life. Being the hippie that he is, he told me to go smoke a blunt of Dragon's breath. I told him I just wasn't into that sort of thing.
So then he told me, "Dude, you have to get back down to Earth. At least for a little while."
I went to the big house on the hill and talked with God about it for a while.
He said, "You wanna go back down to Earth? That's cool, just make sure you do something productive."
So here I am, back on Earth. Since while I was here before, I basically had a career in the military, I tried to get back into it. I applied to the US Army but they have a strict age limit as to who can join. I then thought about running for political office again but both of the major parties told me I couldn't, due to the modern laws of term limits. Plus they told me they've made a habit of only endorsing people who are alive; the dead don't count. So I decided to come on this forum and talk about politics and share things I've learned with you folks. I am looking forward to having a good time.
As my ex-wife Martha used to say (we separated after 50 years of living comfortably in Heaven's upper east side), "If you get nervous speaking in public, just remember that they're probably laughing at your wooden teeth and now what you're actually saying."
