Hell's Most Wanted

[rivrrat]

I got 17! WOOT!

 

[Lord Tammerlain]

I got 17! WOOT!

Guessing you missed Pagan, Witches and psychic and child molester

 

[Hoplite]

What? Drunks get higher priority than Pagans? I feel sort of...left out.

 

[iangb]

I got 17! WOOT!

This shall be the new facebook "count up how many you've done and pass it to your friends" meme. Yes it shall.

 

[Aunt Spiker]

Hmm - but it *only* refers to pot smokers and drunkards - but all other drug use isn't in the radar.. . WOOT!

 

[Goshin]

Certain things on that list are very questionable from a Biblical standpoint.


Sports fans?? :doh

 

[theangryamerican]

Certain things on that list are very questionable from a Biblical standpoint.


Sports fans?? :doh

No Bible verse specifically prohibits masturbation either.

 

[Thorgasm]

Certain things on that list are very questionable from a Biblical standpoint.


Sports fans?? :doh

They didn't want the New Jersey Devils fans feeling like they were being singled out.

 

[Goshin]

No Bible verse specifically prohibits masturbation either.

No specific prohibition against gambling either. Though there are some general admonishments that could be taken as being somewhat against gambling, nothing explicit I know of.

 

[theangryamerican]

No specific prohibition against gambling either. Though there are some general admonishments that could be taken as being somewhat against gambling, nothing explicit I know of.

What say we go gamble on some sports while masturbating through the commercial breaks?

 

[Aunt Spiker]

No Bible verse specifically prohibits masturbation either.

There's actually a parable about that . . . I remember my Dad preaching from it when I was 12.

Talk about being ****ing embarassed - my Dad the minister and at home nudist talking about a boy masturbating on Sunday Morning. *facepalm*

 

[Tucker Case]

No Bible verse specifically prohibits masturbation either.

It's OK as long as you don't jizz.

Genesis 38:9-10 Onan, however, knew that the descendants would not be counted as his; so whenever he had relations with his brother's widow, he wasted his seed on the ground, to avoid contributing offspring for his brother.

What he did greatly offended the LORD, and the LORD took his life too.

 

[tacomancer]

It's OK as long as you don't jizz.

He wasn't masterbating though.

 

[Tucker Case]

He wasn't masterbating though.

It was the wasting of the seed that angered God. Thus, you can only masturbate if it is Bukake-style. That way, at least the woman receives nourishment which isn't a total waste of the seed.


I guess you can jizz in a cup as a sperm donor too.

 

[roughdraft274]

It's OK as long as you don't jizz.

You can't jizz or think about the opposite sex right? Cause Jesus said that was adultery and adultery is bad, mmkay?

I'd have a hard time jerking it with those rules.

 

[Tucker Case]

You can't jizz or think about the opposite sex right? Cause Jesus said that was adultery and adultery is bad, mmkay?

I'd have a hard time jerking it with those rules.

And thus, the lord created Plushies.

 

[roughdraft274]

And thus, the lord created Plushies.

I don't even want to google what a plushie is...

EDIT: stuffed animals, really? People are ****ed up.

 

[Tucker Case]

I don't even want to google what a plushie is...

EDIT: stuffed animals, really? People are ****ed up.

But at least they aren't sinners (as long as they don't spunk all over Curious George, that is).

 

[theangryamerican]

It's OK as long as you don't jizz.

Actually, this verse is taken out of context all the time. Onan's sin was not that he was "spilling his seed" it's that he was in violation of a direct command from God to have children with his brother's widow. Reading the rest of the chapter, instead of just that one verse, makes this apparent. The only Biblical command that may apply to masturbation is to not lust. If you can choke the chicken without lusting, you're good to go.

This concludes my PSA for the afternoon.

 

[Tucker Case]

Actually, this verse is taken out of context all the time. Onan's sin was not that he was "spilling his seed" it's that he was in violation of a direct command from God to have children with his brother's widow. Reading the rest of the chapter, instead of just that one verse, makes this apparent. The only Biblical command that may apply to masturbation is to not lust. If you can choke the chicken without lusting, you're good to go.

This concludes my PSA for the afternoon.

Wait, so it's not a sin to spunk all over Curious George?

No wonder the Man in the Yellow Hat always smiled!

 

[1069]

I got 17! WOOT!

5 and a half (I'm bi).
You're way, way more evil than me.

I guess Hell has no use for coke fiends, meth heads, or heroin junkies.
Probably no room for them, because it's filled up with you damn pot smokers, much like the county jail.

 

[1069]

There's actually a parable about that . . . I remember my Dad preaching from it when I was 12.

Talk about being ****ing embarassed - my Dad the minister and at home nudist talking about a boy masturbating on Sunday Morning. *facepalm*

OMG, I would've barfed up every organ in my body if my dad was an at-home nudist.
It was bad enough having to watch him lounge around in his tighty-whiteys. :2sick1:

 

[rivrrat]

Guessing you missed Pagan, Witches and psychic and child molester

No, I got pagan and witches. I missed child molester, hypocrits, thieves, and liars

 

[rivrrat]

5 and a half (I'm bi).
You're way, way more evil than me.

I guess Hell has no use for coke fiends, meth heads, or heroin junkies.
Probably no room for them, because it's filled up with you damn pot smokers, much like the county jail.

I counted myself as a homosexual and a lesbian. LOL I mean c'mon. I want a GOOD seat in hell.

 

[Chuz Life]

Certain things on that list are very questionable from a Biblical standpoint.


Sports fans?? :doh

Especially since the Bible leads off with a BaseBall story; "In the Big Inning,...."