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I got 17! WOOT!
Guessing you missed Pagan, Witches and psychic and child molester![]()
I got 17! WOOT!
This shall be the new facebook "count up how many you've done and pass it to your friends" meme. Yes it shall.![]()
I got 17! WOOT!
Certain things on that list are very questionable from a Biblical standpoint.
Sports fans?? :doh
Certain things on that list are very questionable from a Biblical standpoint.
Sports fans?? :doh
No Bible verse specifically prohibits masturbation either.
What say we go gamble on some sports while masturbating through the commercial breaks?No specific prohibition against gambling either. Though there are some general admonishments that could be taken as being somewhat against gambling, nothing explicit I know of.
There's actually a parable about that . . . I remember my Dad preaching from it when I was 12.No Bible verse specifically prohibits masturbation either.
It's OK as long as you don't jizz.No Bible verse specifically prohibits masturbation either.
Genesis 38:9-10 Onan, however, knew that the descendants would not be counted as his; so whenever he had relations with his brother's widow, he wasted his seed on the ground, to avoid contributing offspring for his brother.
What he did greatly offended the LORD, and the LORD took his life too.
He wasn't masterbating though.It's OK as long as you don't jizz.
It was the wasting of the seed that angered God. Thus, you can only masturbate if it is Bukake-style. That way, at least the woman receives nourishment which isn't a total waste of the seed.He wasn't masterbating though.
You can't jizz or think about the opposite sex right? Cause Jesus said that was adultery and adultery is bad, mmkay?It's OK as long as you don't jizz.
And thus, the lord created Plushies.You can't jizz or think about the opposite sex right? Cause Jesus said that was adultery and adultery is bad, mmkay?
I'd have a hard time jerking it with those rules.
I don't even want to google what a plushie is...And thus, the lord created Plushies.
But at least they aren't sinners (as long as they don't spunk all over Curious George, that is).I don't even want to google what a plushie is...
EDIT: stuffed animals, really? People are ****ed up.
Actually, this verse is taken out of context all the time. Onan's sin was not that he was "spilling his seed" it's that he was in violation of a direct command from God to have children with his brother's widow. Reading the rest of the chapter, instead of just that one verse, makes this apparent. The only Biblical command that may apply to masturbation is to not lust. If you can choke the chicken without lusting, you're good to go.It's OK as long as you don't jizz.
Wait, so it's not a sin to spunk all over Curious George?Actually, this verse is taken out of context all the time. Onan's sin was not that he was "spilling his seed" it's that he was in violation of a direct command from God to have children with his brother's widow. Reading the rest of the chapter, instead of just that one verse, makes this apparent. The only Biblical command that may apply to masturbation is to not lust. If you can choke the chicken without lusting, you're good to go.
This concludes my PSA for the afternoon.
5 and a half (I'm bi).I got 17! WOOT!
OMG, I would've barfed up every organ in my body if my dad was an at-home nudist.There's actually a parable about that . . . I remember my Dad preaching from it when I was 12.
Talk about being ****ing embarassed - my Dad the minister and at home nudist talking about a boy masturbating on Sunday Morning. *facepalm*
No, I got pagan and witches. I missed child molester, hypocrits, thieves, and liarsGuessing you missed Pagan, Witches and psychic and child molester
I counted myself as a homosexual and a lesbian. LOL I mean c'mon. I want a GOOD seat in hell.5 and a half (I'm bi).
You're way, way more evil than me.
I guess Hell has no use for coke fiends, meth heads, or heroin junkies.
Probably no room for them, because it's filled up with you damn pot smokers, much like the county jail.
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Especially since the Bible leads off with a BaseBall story; "In the Big Inning,...."Certain things on that list are very questionable from a Biblical standpoint.
Sports fans?? :doh