Hastert vs. Pelosi - Who would win a fistfight? (1 Viewer)

[danarhea]

The 2 accidentally bumped into each other on Capitol Hill, and had some friendly words with each other before going their different ways, which prompted Roll Call to speculate which of the 2 would win in a barfight.

Actually, my vote is on Hastert, since he is a former wrestling coach. Yea, that's the ticket. WWF on DC-TV. Hastert can dress up in a cape and tights, and wear a mask. Pelosi? Nah, she wont need the mask. Her face with the perma-smile will suffice. One look at that and ..... Hmmmm..... maybe Pelosi can win after all. :lol:

From this article.

 

[Kandahar]

Well, Hastert certainly has the weight advantage. But Pelosi probably moves faster. If she could just dodge his punches long enough, she could wait for him to have a heart attack and claim victory.

 

[TurtleDude]

1) as any self defense expert will tell you (as proven by the Gracie Brothers and that "Ultimate Street Combat" or "Extreme Fighting" stuff on Pay per view) most fights turn into grappling matches. A wrestler has a huge advantage over a boxer in a street fight. wrestlers don't fist fight, they grapple, choke and lock up opponents

2) Pelosi is far lighter than Hastert. The old saying is true-A good big man beats an equally good small man in a fight. In this case, a fat bad man will beat an lightweight small woman.

3) Pelosi appears to be a tweaker though. People on crank, crystal meth, PCP etc have very high pain tolerances. If it were purely boxing, Pelosi could have some advantages. However, its hard to say if the uppers could help her with almost 300 pounds of GOP pork on her

4) Hastert is a Republican and thus a gentleman. He would be loathe to squash her like a grape. She being a democrat, would probably resort to a below the belt kick so she might have some success. Compared to many female politicians of the donkey breed (Cynthia McKinney, Hillary, Janet Reno), Nancy Lugosi is more attractive. Hastert might be distracted by that fact and being a republican-he is clearly "straight" and might have other ideas than a wrestling match

 

[faithful_servant]

Pelosi has one VERY big advantage: she's got so much botox in her face that I doubt that she'd feel it if Mike Tyson hit her dead on. Hastert would probably wear himself going to the head. So my take on it is if Hastert goes to the body he'll clean her clock, but if he goes to the face, he'll collapse in exhaustion.

 

[TurtleDude]

Pelosi has one VERY big advantage: she's got so much botox in her face that I doubt that she'd feel it if Mike Tyson hit her dead on. Hastert would probably wear himself going to the head. So my take on it is if Hastert goes to the body he'll clean her clock, but if he goes to the face, he'll collapse in exhaustion.

good point-and if there is some blood transfer his hands could be paralyzed from the toxins. That is why I suspect he will shoot for the legs, do a takedown and slam her down with a body cradle. Maybe use the "Jake the Snake" Pile Driver on her or the dreaded "Figure Four Leg Lock". He could probably fold her up like a pretzal with the infamous "full nelson"

 

[faithful_servant]

good point-and if there is some blood transfer his hands could be paralyzed from the toxins. That is why I suspect he will shoot for the legs, do a takedown and slam her down with a body cradle. Maybe use the "Jake the Snake" Pile Driver on her or the dreaded "Figure Four Leg Lock". He could probably fold her up like a pretzal with the infamous "full nelson"

Whoa!! Back up there, TD. All of those holds place Hastert in a far too "intimate" posture with Pelosi. Far better to stand back and go to the body; crack a few ribs, a couple of solid shots to the solar plexus and she's done for.

 

[TurtleDude]

Whoa!! Back up there, TD. All of those holds place Hastert in a far too "intimate" posture with Pelosi. Far better to stand back and go to the body; crack a few ribs, a couple of solid shots to the solar plexus and she's done for.

good points but guys who have no problem putting an arm bar through the crotch of another sweaty guy isn't going to get too worried about doing the Snake on Nancy Lugosi

 

[Doremus Jessup]

Being a Repub, Hastert would certainly never hesitate to put a broad in her place, but he would go about it like a gentleman: no kicks or cheapshots. Pelosi would go cheap, but could you blame her? I mean the guy outweighs her at least three, maybe even four times over. I might even allow her to use a weapon.
Since Pelosi is a Dem, she's probably not used to being beat around so the tubby bastard would rock her world. :beat
Of course he would not be able to withstand that much physical exertion once the adrenaline wore off, and he would keel over on top of her convulsing body.

America Wins!!! :ind: