What I meant by that is "society shouldn't care". Whether they do or not, that's up to them.
Fair enough, I agree with you there.
Makes one of us. Although I wouldn't say "inevitability", I'd say "strong probability".
Really? "Andy" and I actually didn't speak for several years since the last time I saw him. (Before all this, that is) He had moved from the Midwest to Colorado to pursue his dream, and get married. There was always one rule we had between us, that we never broke, it was that we never crossed the 'marriage' line. If he or I were married, we would be 'hands-off.'
Neither of us had any problems with that in the past.
It has nothing to do with "sneaking around". It's just an open relationship. It was previous to this; it apparently still is. As I asked before - what's changed? Because a figure with a penis may become a more permanent fixture? Doesn't change anything.
You're right, it doesn't have anything to do with "sneaking around" I never suggested it did.
But to assume my female partner and I had an "open" relationship previous to "Andy" is to make assumptions that were not implied. I did say she was "open" to the idea of having a poly relationship, but until such time as we BOTH agreed, we had no such relationship at all.
Well if that's what you believe, then that's what you believe.
What, you don't think that communication and trust are escential to a healthy and long lasting relationship? Or is it that you don't think those things have anything to do with loving your partner? Either way, I can't see how you can claim to love anyone if you don't trust them or have any sort of communication with them.
Sorry, I don't consider polyamory to be "personal growth". If that's part of your self-actualization process, knock yourself out. I've never had any problem committing to a woman worth committing to.
So, you're saying that self-actualization isn't part of personal growth?
Honestly, Gipper, I just don't understand how you can make such assumptions about me like that. I have never been in any sort of "open relationship" with anyone. Nor do I now. To me an "open relationship" is license to cheat. I find that insulting and degrading to anyone who puts up with that sort of behavior out of anyone they claim to love, or who they assume loves them. My partner and I have been purely monogamous for nearly FIFTEEN YEARS, we are fully committed to one another. Nothing there has changed at all. I'm still committed to her as well as love and respect her.
Honestly, I never would have even considered a poly relationship at all with anyone else until "Andy" popped back into my life again. I hadn't heard from him in nearly ten years before all this. Granted, his mother and I have kept in contact for years, but that's because I have been friends with "Andy" for so long that she and I developed a close friendship as well over time. She would let me know how he was doing and if he had done anything stupid like get himself seriously injured. (Which in his profession is not uncommon, it's a high risk career to live and work in avalanch prone areas.) But as far as butting into his personal life, I kept a respectful distance. I actually liked his last spouse and had hoped it would work out. Unfortunately, it didn't on the long-term.
Even after I had learned of the dissolusion of his marriage I didn't attempt direct contact with "Andy." Again, I respected him and assumed if he wanted to resume contact with me I'd hear it from him. Which after another couple of years, I did. Granted, another mutual friend of ours did not respect him in any such way and immediately jumped at the first chance she could to wiggle her way into his life. Only because of that did he contact me again. I didn't even know this mutual friend had done such a thing until "Andy" told me himself. I hadn't spoken with the mutual friend in an even longer period of time for personal reasons.
So, honestly, the fact that "Andy" and I even started speaking again was something he initiated, on his own. Even his mother didn't know he had contacted me again until I mentioned it to her.
Gosh, I just think that people really make a lot of assumptions when they only have a few of the facts, and in doing so, insult those about whom they make assumptions.
Obviously we don't have that in common.
Obviously
