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Has anyone else come out today? (10/11)

I agree with you.

I don't want oppressed minorities to have a standard to rally around either.

oh come on dude, this is exactly the kind of exaggeration I was talking about. how in the hell can "coming out day" (quite frankly a day that no one except gays know even exists) be considered a "standard to rally around" by any stretch of the imagination?

the last sunday in june is "gay pride day" why not let that be your standard? the more "special" days you have, the less special they become
 
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I think care might be a little strong. Passing interest in the conversation, probably.

It's nice to see you today, by the way. :2wave:

you too. ;-) spent the entire weekend bent over.....a desk, unfortunately, plotting courses and fixes and dead reckonings and eps......i am EXHAUSTED and my back is killing me.

but in a couple of weeks i'll be captain liblady!
 
i don't think patria's on a witch hunt. and as for all those "special " days or months or whatever, would you say the same words to a woman who had breast cancer? ask her why she was so dramatic? would you ask a grandparent why he needed a day to honor him? ask a black person why we should care about their history? what about mother's day? veteran's day? birthdays? yes, we have a lot of "days", but so what? they mean something to people.

i'm sure patria doesn't need anyone to defend him, i just think it was rude to comment the way you did on something that's clearly important to him.
The thing is that it isn't very important to me on the individual level, but I take serious umbrage when people tell you to stop whining because it isn't so bad. What's worse is that it is that bad, and denialists spend so much energy trying to tell you that nobody cares who you sleep with.

Tell me, how is anyone can honestly say that America on the whole is unconcerned with who you sleep with? Obviously they do, or nobody would think to have day for solidarity against a despised group of people.
 
ah...so now disagreeing with someone is rude? well...I guess you are now being rude to me. :wink2:

of course not.....i disagree with most everyone most of the time, but i'm only rude to the idiots i don't like. ;-)
 
oh come on dude, this is exactly the kind of exaggeration I was talking about. how in the hell can "coming out day" (quite frankly a day that no one except gays know even exists) be considered a "standard to rally around" by any stretch of the imagination?

the last sunday in june is "gay pride day" why not let that be your standard? the more "special" days you have, the less special they become
You keep talking about exaggeration, but as far as I can see you're just throwing the word around. You haven't actually told me in what way I'm exaggerating. A particular day might not mean much to a straight person who doesn't pay attention, but it is going to matter to swaths of gay/bi/trans people. Like most days, it's a day to unite voices and challenge the status quo whether it's in you own home or in the public sector.

You might hear about it, but I fail to see how a denialist heterosexual missing out on Coming Out Day means that it has no significance to the people it's meant to reach out to.
 
against a despised group of people.


there's that exaggeration again. gays as a whole are not a "despised group of people". the only ones who despise gays are the fringe retards that are themselves despised by society in general.
 
there's that exaggeration again. gays as a whole are not a "despised group of people". the only ones who despise gays are the fringe retards that are themselves despised by society in general.
That big old fringe that voted Prop 8 in? In California of all places.

The day people treat the word "faggot" the way they treat the word "nigger" is the day I believe you.
 
It's National Coming Out Day.
I wasn't aware of that.

Has anyone else taken the plunge?

No, I'm as straight as they come - but if anybody else wants to use this day (it's also Columbus Day, btw) to 'come out', then by all means.... no skin off my nose. I must say though, I don't understand why there has to be a special day for this? No disrespect meant, but honestly... isn't this something that should be done when the person feels it's right? Just asking.

I have. It feel good, man. If you're LGBT, there's no time like the present.

Any particular reason you choose today? Was it because others said they would do it today as well... or was it just the prompting you needed? I guess I don't understand why today... why not yesterday, or a year ago... or tomorrow, for that matter.

Who did you come out to? Curious. Were whomever the person(s) were.... were they surprised?
 
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The thing is that it isn't very important to me on the individual level, but I take serious umbrage when people tell you to stop whining because it isn't so bad. What's worse is that it is that bad, and denialists spend so much energy trying to tell you that nobody cares who you sleep with.

Tell me, how is anyone can honestly say that America on the whole is unconcerned with who you sleep with? Obviously they do, or nobody would think to have day for solidarity against a despised group of people.

a good majority of us don't care, or if we do, only a prurient level. ;-) it's just that the minority is SO vocal, and so entrenched in power. as for coming out day, the reason i think it's a great idea is that people tend to soften their stances when they actually know and care about a gay person. the less people in the closet the better it is for all of us. it's the same with racism........over time, it can be overcome.
 
You keep talking about exaggeration, but as far as I can see you're just throwing the word around. You haven't actually told me in what way I'm exaggerating. A particular day might not mean much to a straight person who doesn't pay attention, but it is going to matter to swaths of gay/bi/trans people. Like most days, it's a day to unite voices and challenge the status quo whether it's in you own home or in the public sector.

You might hear about it, but I fail to see how a denialist heterosexual missing out on Coming Out Day means that it has no significance to the people it's meant to reach out to.

I pay attention, please give me a link to somewhere other than a progay website where this national coming out day is mentioned.

that is the exaggeration (or perhaps hyperbole would be a better term), you assume that since most heteros don't know about this day, we aren't paying attention; you make the absurd claim that since I happen to disagree with this ONE DAY, I don't want gays to have a standard to rally around. you overstate the attitude towards gays and claim to be a despised group of people.
 
That big old fringe that voted Prop 8 in? In California of all places.

The day people treat the word "faggot" the way they treat the word "nigger" is the day I believe you.

exaggeration again. just because someone votes against gay marriage doesn't mean they "despise" gays. I guess I just hang around a more tolerant group of people than you do...because I haven't heard anyone use the term "faggot" in public in years.
 
a good majority of us don't care, or if we do, only a prurient level. ;-) it's just that the minority is SO vocal, and so entrenched in power. as for coming out day, the reason i think it's a great idea is that people tend to soften their stances when they actually know and care about a gay person. the less people in the closet the better it is for all of us. it's the same with racism........over time, it can be overcome.


what gets me is that gays/gay supporters always want to lump anyone who happens to disagree with them into the Homophobe group with that minority. but yet they seem confused when heteros lump them all together with the flamers you see at gay pride parades wearing assless pants and blowing each other in the street.

yes there is a small minority of people that hate gays and wish they were all dead...most of us don't fall into that category, just as most gays don't fit the "flamer" stereotype.
 
I wasn't aware of that.

No, I'm as straight as they come - but if anybody else wants to use this day (it's also Columbus Day, btw) to 'come out', then by all means.... no skin off my nose. I must say though, I don't understand why there has to be a special day for this? No disrespect meant, but honestly... isn't this something that should be done when the person feels it's right? Just asking.
Yeah, it is. In my experience (not my actual experience, but the experiences of people I know who've had the actual experience), lots of people are "ready" to come out except for that one little thing that pushes them to finally speak up. I think there are a lot of people who just need an excuse and a gentle bit of encouragement, so I'm glad there's a day for it because I think it does its job nicely for the people who are listening.

In my case, it was something I only told a few close people, and with everyone else -- friends, whoever -- it was something that I didn't say because I knew they had ambivalent attitudes towards the idea. There was no specific reason for this day, I sort of figured "may as well, I'm in college now so what better time to stop hiding?"

Oh, and, er... brother, some extended family, and my friends-but-not-super-duper-close-tell each other everything friends. I also sort of confirmed it for my father. He's one of those types who, even though he knew already, was reluctant to believe things that he doesn't like.
 
In the spirit of the day I'll come out to the board and say: I like it both ways!


nummy!
 
exaggeration again. just because someone votes against gay marriage doesn't mean they "despise" gays. I guess I just hang around a more tolerant group of people than you do...because I haven't heard anyone use the term "faggot" in public in years.

I was heckled in public with a gay friend a couple weeks back. "Faggot" was definitely used.
 
exaggeration again. just because someone votes against gay marriage doesn't mean they "despise" gays. I guess I just hang around a more tolerant group of people than you do...because I haven't heard anyone use the term "faggot" in public in years.
You haven't been around enough intoxicated, heterosexual twenty-somethings. It's all you hear. "That's gay; you're a faggot; stop being a fag, bro." It's gotten to the point where I laugh at the no-homo paranoia rather than get indignant.

I pay attention, please give me a link to somewhere other than a progay website where this national coming out day is mentioned.

that is the exaggeration (or perhaps hyperbole would be a better term), you assume that since most heteros don't know about this day, we aren't paying attention; you make the absurd claim that since I happen to disagree with this ONE DAY, I don't want gays to have a standard to rally around. you overstate the attitude towards gays and claim to be a despised group of people.
I'd be surprised if there is one. I don't blame you for not knowing about it, I do find it repulsive that you'd criticizing me for partaking in it. You seem to have an objection to anything that LGBT people use to rally around, so if that's a misconception I'd love you to clear it up for me.

I have to say, under the definition of "despise:"

de·spise/diˈspīz/
Verb: Feel contempt or a deep repugnance for.


A huge chunk of the American population despises gay people, and another chunks doesn't much care for them. Not to the point where they'd assault you in an alleyway, but enough to oppose equality. That's good enough for me.
 
Yeah, it is. In my experience (not my actual experience, but the experiences of people I know who've had the actual experience), lots of people are "ready" to come out except for that one little thing that pushes them to finally speak up. I think there are a lot of people who just need an excuse and a gentle bit of encouragement, so I'm glad there's a day for it because I think it does its job nicely for the people who are listening.

In my case, it was something I only told a few close people, and with everyone else -- friends, whoever -- it was something that I didn't say because I knew they had ambivalent attitudes towards the idea. There was no specific reason for this day, I sort of figured "may as well, I'm in college now so what better time to stop hiding?"

Oh, and, er... brother, some extended family, and my friends-but-not-super-duper-close-tell each other everything friends. I also sort of confirmed it for my father. He's one of those types who, even though he knew already, was reluctant to believe things that he doesn't like.

could having a special coming out day be a negative? what if someone is on the verge of coming out and then thinks...nah, I'll wait until coming out day. why can't every day be coming out day. It has been my experience (and yes I do know quite a few gay people) that those who live openly are much more well adjusted and "happy" than those who are in the closet. It has also been my experience that when someone comes out of the closet, most of the people that actually know them already knew. Good friend of mine from HS, "came out" during our Soph year at college. we were all like, "Dude, we've known you were gay since 6th grade"
 
could having a special coming out day be a negative? what if someone is on the verge of coming out and then thinks...nah, I'll wait until coming out day. why can't every day be coming out day. It has been my experience (and yes I do know quite a few gay people) that those who live openly are much more well adjusted and "happy" than those who are in the closet. It has also been my experience that when someone comes out of the closet, most of the people that actually know them already knew. Good friend of mine from HS, "came out" during our Soph year at college. we were all like, "Dude, we've known you were gay since 6th grade"
Depends. I've spoken to/known people where everyone important knew already, and some people who blindsided everybody and didn't have much in the way of support. I've never known anyone to put off coming out when they feel ready, for any reason. I'd be curious to know how many, if any people do that, but it doesn't sound common.
 
You haven't been around enough intoxicated, heterosexual twenty-somethings. It's all you hear. "That's gay; you're a faggot; stop being a fag, bro." It's gotten to the point where I laugh at the no-homo paranoia rather than get indignant.
yeah, i tend to avoid immature retards as much as possible.


I'd be surprised if there is one. I don't blame you for not knowing about it,

then how can you accuse me of not paying attention? hmmmm?

You seem to have an objection to anything that LGBT people use to rally around, so if that's a misconception I'd love you to clear it up for me.

you seem to have trouble reading and comprehending my posts. the only thing I have objected to is the plethora of "special" days we are forced to recognize. I guess I "despise" elderly white guys since I objected to "old farmers day"



A huge chunk of the American population despises gay people, and another chunks doesn't much care for them. Not to the point where they'd assault you in an alleyway, but enough to oppose equality. That's good enough for me.

link please.
 
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I wish more hot women would come out bi.

There's a holiday I could get behind.
 
I wish more hot women would come out bi.

There's a holiday I could get behind.

The girls living across the street from me were making out on their deck today. That is a reason to get behind today.
 
yeah, i tend to avoid immature retards as much as possible.

then how can you accuse me of not paying attention? hmmmm?

you seem to have trouble reading and comprehending my posts. the only thing I have objected to is the plethora of "special" days we are forced to recognize. I guess I "despise" elderly white guys since I objected to "old farmers day"

link please.
Obviously, if you didn't know about the day before you stepped into a forum about sexuality, nobody is forcing you to recognize — or even notice — anything. If you ask me, it's more for people who, for one reason or another, feel the desire to skulk around pro-gay sites to begin with. Nobody forces you to patricipate, why is exactly that you object? It gives us a day to unite, perhaps take a big step toward being yourself (or encouraging others to do the same), etc. Nobody is coming to your house in assless chaps and a tiara, what's the issue here?

I do apologize for accusing you of not paying attention. I suppose that's a kind of attention you prefer not to be paying, I can't really blame you.

As for Americans feeling contempt or repulsion for homosexuals, the stats you find here are almost uniformly pathetic.
Statistics about Homophobia
Gay Marriage And Public Opinion - Forbes.com

I think the continued existence of marriage inequality and DADT speak for themselves, but I suppose that your milage varies. Either way, I don't think you can seriously tell me that, as a whole, America doesn't care about sexual orientation.
 
I'm in the unfortunate position of having a class to attend, so I'll get back to you later, Oscar.
 
I agree with you to a slight extent, but that's not at all something present in this particular day. Today is simply a day chosen to offer mutual support and encourage LGBT people to assert themselves and not hide. I'm failing to see the whiny behavior in that. Innoculation through exposure is a pretty surefire way of reducing prejudice.

I don't think the singular issue of today is really the focal point. I think it's the compilation of today, gay pride week, about a dozen "gays in crisis" media flares per year, a method of activism which requires that insult shut down legitimate debate, the overuse of the homophobe card, etc, etc.

I won't deny gay group's role in hyping issues that aren't as serious for press, but I also don't blame them as much as I do straight people for getting annoyed over it.

Wait a minute...it sounds like you are saying "yes, there is some offense committed but I blame the offended for reacting to the offense". :confused:

You reap what you sow. If you treat a group of people that horribly, you best expect for them to start seeing hatred even when it's not present, or merely a peripheral issue.

So can you give me some tangible examples of institutionalized horrible treatment of gays?

I
think the media is more to blame in the sensationalist coverage of this suicide spate as a gay crisis. The fact is that covering contentious social issues sells ad time and newspapers. Mental health and maturity issues does not. As someone who both enjoys the company of men and has had mental health issues, I know where I stand in terms of feeling prejudiced. I feel safe saying that the stigmata surrounding mental health issues far exceed the ones surrounding homosexuality. People don't want to hear about, and the press doesn't want to talk about it.

This, I can agree with. And it is precisely why I believe that we should be more "people focused" rather than "group identity" focused when we see our fellow man in some crisis situation.
 
I don't think the singular issue of today is really the focal point. I think it's the compilation of today, gay pride week, about a dozen "gays in crisis" media flares per year, a method of activism which requires that insult shut down legitimate debate, the overuse of the homophobe card, etc, etc.



Wait a minute...it sounds like you are saying "yes, there is some offense committed but I blame the offended for reacting to the offense". :confused:



So can you give me some tangible examples of institutionalized horrible treatment of gays?

I

This, I can agree with. And it is precisely why I believe that we should be more "people focused" rather than "group identity" focused when we see our fellow man in some crisis situation.

I must say, if more gay people had your attitude (or maybe the more vocal gay people) it would go a long way in reducing homophobia. :thumbs:
 
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