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Guilty of not walking away from a pointless and endless conversation

OK, raise your hand if you are guilty of a habit that is common on forums like this one?

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You see, I raised my hand too, because I know I am guilty.

WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT?

Simply this: we can't seem to walk away from a back n forth that is going nowhere.

We all seem to have this innate NEED to have the last word. If someone says to me I don't know my history, and I rebut by pointing out how I actually know more about history than they do, they are bound to come back and then question my intelligence and then I rebut that they can't match mine, and so on and so on and so on...

Someone says the Dems are the "evil" party, another rebuts saying it is the Repubs who are the "evil" ones, and soon those two all by themselves go back n forth till they eventually get into name-calling just so they can get "their licks" in.

Wouldn't it be easier to just state our point of view, back it up with some insightful or at least half-way sane points, then move on?

I mean if someone is DETERMINED to get the last word in or refuse to leave the conversation because they need to get one last "lick" in, is it worth it?

Here is a thought, let them have the last word, they will be eagerly waiting for yet another comeback from you and when it doesn't arrive, imagine how THAT makes them feel.

(Now if only I could follow my own advice)
 
???

What on earth are you talking about and what does it have to do with your thread topic?

Oh...wait...

"(Now if only I could follow my own advice)"

You can't, can you?

You are dismissed.
your own quote:
(But what's really funny...and quite pathetic...are those people who think, just because I dismissed them, THEY WON!!!)

and I responded by saying "because we did."

DO TRY TO KEEP UP!!

rolling-on-the-floor-laughing_1f923.png
 
I think the fundamental issue is that often people are arguing from two different places. One side that has empathy for others, and the other, that does not. The rationality of any potential solutions that could, in theory, be debated in good faith, are meaningless if two people don't even agree that something is a problem.
 
I
OK, raise your hand if you are guilty of a habit that is common on forums like this one?

View attachment 67342426

You see, I raised my hand too, because I know I am guilty.

WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT?

Simply this: we can't seem to walk away from a back n forth that is going nowhere.

We all seem to have this innate NEED to have the last word. If someone says to me I don't know my history, and I rebut by pointing out how I actually know more about history than they do, they are bound to come back and then question my intelligence and then I rebut that they can't match mine, and so on and so on and so on...

Someone says the Dems are the "evil" party, another rebuts saying it is the Repubs who are the "evil" ones, and soon those two all by themselves go back n forth till they eventually get into name-calling just so they can get "their licks" in.

Wouldn't it be easier to just state our point of view, back it up with some insightful or at least half-way sane points, then move on?

I mean if someone is DETERMINED to get the last word in or refuse to leave the conversation because they need to get one last "lick" in, is it worth it?

Here is a thought, let them have the last word, they will be eagerly waiting for yet another comeback from you and when it doesn't arrive, imagine how THAT makes them feel.

(Now if only I could follow my own advice)
I once argued with another poster on another site for a full day and a half. Stopping only for meals and short naps. The only loser was me. Arguing back and forth repeatedly only gives your adversary power by your continued engagement and attention.

It is better to speak your truth and then have one or two back and forths and then remember the how the moving finger writes and then moves on. Or should.
 
“The moving finger writes and, having writ, moves on. Not all your piety nor wit shall lure it back to cancel half a line, nor all your tears wash out a word of it.”


This line from the Rubaiyat (although badly translated but improved from the original) is my best advice. Though I fail repeatedly in following my own advice.
 
OK, raise your hand if you are guilty of a habit that is common on forums like this one?

View attachment 67342426

You see, I raised my hand too, because I know I am guilty.

WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT?

Simply this: we can't seem to walk away from a back n forth that is going nowhere.

We all seem to have this innate NEED to have the last word. If someone says to me I don't know my history, and I rebut by pointing out how I actually know more about history than they do, they are bound to come back and then question my intelligence and then I rebut that they can't match mine, and so on and so on and so on...

Someone says the Dems are the "evil" party, another rebuts saying it is the Repubs who are the "evil" ones, and soon those two all by themselves go back n forth till they eventually get into name-calling just so they can get "their licks" in.

Wouldn't it be easier to just state our point of view, back it up with some insightful or at least half-way sane points, then move on?

I mean if someone is DETERMINED to get the last word in or refuse to leave the conversation because they need to get one last "lick" in, is it worth it?

Here is a thought, let them have the last word, they will be eagerly waiting for yet another comeback from you and when it doesn't arrive, imagine how THAT makes them feel.

(Now if only I could follow my own advice)
Guilty. LOL
 
If one is a believer in the Christian Bible this might be helpful:

Proverbs 14:7

7Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.
 
I NEVER try to get in the last word.

I realize that a message board is just an opportunity for us ordinary folks to blow off steam.

The few remaining print newspapers have limited space for letters and often print only letters favorable to their political stance.

So that's why ordinary folks turn to message boards such as this one and to Twitter, etc.

If a poster is civil and I can add some more information, I reply. Otherwise, I just press the "Like" button, which I also consider to be the "Thank you for your comment" button.

I never try to disabuse another poster of his/her views, for that only makes him/her dig in his/her heels. That is human nature.
 
I think I'm pretty good at walking away from them. In the last few that I've been in, I'm the one who left without getting the "last word". I go for awhile, and then just move on. Same with trolling posts of a somewhat personal nature, A lot of them I just pass by. Why not? If a person has to troll on a personal basis to get your attention, there's probably not much reasoned discussion to be had anyway.
 
I have to admit: there have been times when someone has managed to change my mind, or at least modified it a little bit here and there- although I would never admit to it. ;)
 
I have to admit: there have been times when someone has managed to change my mind, or at least modified it a little bit here and there- although I would never admit to it. ;)
you would be in the minority ;)
 
I think you got it al wrong. Debate is not about getting the last word. You debate the arguments you find to be wrong, but that others might "fall for". It is about getting the one you are debating to show their hand by starting posting idiocracy. For everyone to read... That's when to stop and let your opponents post stand as long as possible and for as many to read as possible. @Mycroft is good, he gives it to you every time. Sometimes you don't have to post at al, just bring his post back to the eyes of the beholders when to many others have answered him or the thread and his post has moved into the background.

That's a win
 
I think you got it al wrong. Debate is not about getting the last word. You debate the arguments you find to be wrong, but that others might "fall for". It is about getting the one you are debating to show their hand by starting posting idiocracy. For everyone to read... That's when to stop and let your opponents post stand as long as possible and for as many to read as possible. @Mycroft is good, he gives it to you every time. Sometimes you don't have to post at al, just bring his post back to the eyes of the beholders when to many others have answered him or the thread and his post has moved into the background.

That's a win

Disagree. Mycroft is just the typicsl right wing poser whose standard talking points are easily refutable.
 
I think you got it al wrong. Debate is not about getting the last word. You debate the arguments you find to be wrong, but that others might "fall for". It is about getting the one you are debating to show their hand by starting posting idiocracy. For everyone to read... That's when to stop and let your opponents post stand as long as possible and for as many to read as possible. @Mycroft is good, he gives it to you every time. Sometimes you don't have to post at al, just bring his post back to the eyes of the beholders when to many others have answered him or the thread and his post has moved into the background.

That's a win
I don't use my dismissal as a debate tactic. I use it when the discussion turns into a useless wasted of time. I walk away.
 
Disagree. Mycroft is just the typicsl right wing poser whose standard talking points are easily refutable.
That's what I am saying...

I don't use my dismissal as a debate tactic. I use it when the discussion turns into a useless wasted of time. I walk away.
You walk away to soon or to late and when your opponents arguments are stronger than yours.
 
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That's what I am saying...


You walk away to soon or to late and when your opponents arguments are stronger than yours.
Oh..."to soon or to late". In your opinion? Who cares? I'm the one walking away and I'll do it when I choose to.

And someone who is spouting useless nonsense does NOT have a stronger argument. They have a useless argument.
 
OK, raise your hand if you are guilty of a habit that is common on forums like this one?

View attachment 67342426

You see, I raised my hand too, because I know I am guilty.

WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT?

Simply this: we can't seem to walk away from a back n forth that is going nowhere.

We all seem to have this innate NEED to have the last word. If someone says to me I don't know my history, and I rebut by pointing out how I actually know more about history than they do, they are bound to come back and then question my intelligence and then I rebut that they can't match mine, and so on and so on and so on...

Someone says the Dems are the "evil" party, another rebuts saying it is the Repubs who are the "evil" ones, and soon those two all by themselves go back n forth till they eventually get into name-calling just so they can get "their licks" in.

Wouldn't it be easier to just state our point of view, back it up with some insightful or at least half-way sane points, then move on?

I mean if someone is DETERMINED to get the last word in or refuse to leave the conversation because they need to get one last "lick" in, is it worth it?

Here is a thought, let them have the last word, they will be eagerly waiting for yet another comeback from you and when it doesn't arrive, imagine how THAT makes them feel.

(Now if only I could follow my own advice)


I wouldn't say that much, but I would say that these internet forums, which I have been participating in for many years, starting with USENET in the 90s and early 2000s, is a kind of addiction and walking away from all of them, cold turkey, is not easy, either.

I've been seriously considering it, though, and it could easily be argued that it is a waste of time. I mean, really, is anyone really going to change their mind about anything as the rezult of reading posts on these forums?
 
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