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Friendship vs Dream

youthpassion

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If your best friend and you had different, maybe contradicting visions. what would you do?
Speakin of "vision", I am referrinng to a lifetime career, not just simply which movie to see at the weekend. Would you compromise to maintain your friendship, or walk your own path, despite knowing that your best friend might one day become your arch enemy?
From what I know, those who choose the latter do not usually end up happlily. We have Mark Zuckerberg vs Eduardo Saverin in "the social network", and Liu Bei vs Cao Cao in "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". Yet I also find it hard to give up my dream for someone else.
I am working on a project about this topic, so I would appreciate any constructive opinion.


Thanks a lot! :mrgreen:
 

sbrettt

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If your best friend and you had different, maybe contradicting visions. what would you do?
Speakin of "vision", I am referrinng to a lifetime career, not just simply which movie to see at the weekend. Would you compromise to maintain your friendship, or walk your own path, despite knowing that your best friend might one day become your arch enemy?
From what I know, those who choose the latter do not usually end up happlily. We have Mark Zuckerberg vs Eduardo Saverin in "the social network", and Liu Bei vs Cao Cao in "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". Yet I also find it hard to give up my dream for someone else.
I am working on a project about this topic, so I would appreciate any constructive opinion.


Thanks a lot! :mrgreen:

There's not enough detail here for me to form an opinion of any merit. Would you mind adding some details?
 

Fisher

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If you are talking friend and not like "Your spouse is your best friend", then yes. That is just reality. People go in different directions in life. The military and college are examples of that. You might be buddies, but you are on a different trajectory when you come in so you are going out in a different direction. You can continue to be friends from afar or not, but it would be unreasonable and ridiculous to change your life plans for someone to hang out with, especially since getting married, having kids, having different jobs and just growing older will work against your friendship anyway.
 

youthpassion

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There's not enough detail here for me to form an opinion of any merit. Would you mind adding some details?

Suppose you're joining an anti-alcohol protest, which you're very enthusiastic about, while your friend is managing a wine lounge. If your protest goes well it will definitely have negative impact on your friend's business, and your friend will beg you to stop. What would you do?
 

DDD

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Suppose you're joining an anti-alcohol protest, which you're very enthusiastic about, while your friend is managing a wine lounge. If your protest goes well it will definitely have negative impact on your friend's business, and your friend will beg you to stop. What would you do?

Not tight enough. I would make exceptions to wine for it is really a drink worthy of drinking in moderation. It has reszvoratrol that influences sirtuins, SIRT1 to be exact, and those have to do with longevity.

http://www.debatepolitics.com/science-and-technology/152100-longevity.html
 

SBu

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Suppose you're joining an anti-alcohol protest, which you're very enthusiastic about, while your friend is managing a wine lounge. If your protest goes well it will definitely have negative impact on your friend's business, and your friend will beg you to stop. What would you do?

So you're a prude? How dare you protest a legal business! (pretend outrage unless it's actually true).
 

lizzie

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Follow my dreams. It's me that I must live with for my entire life, and if my life is unfulfilling, I won't be of much use for others.
 

Dezaad

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Follow my dreams. It's me that I must live with for my entire life, and if my life is unfulfilling, I won't be of much use for others.

I would second that, with a major caveat: Is 'compromising' really compromising your dreams? If it is not truly that important, then I say compromise. Yes, ideals are important, but so are Friends. Weigh the importance and realize that it is ok for either factor to come out ahead in the equation.
 

ChrisL

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If you are talking friend and not like "Your spouse is your best friend", then yes. That is just reality. People go in different directions in life. The military and college are examples of that. You might be buddies, but you are on a different trajectory when you come in so you are going out in a different direction. You can continue to be friends from afar or not, but it would be unreasonable and ridiculous to change your life plans for someone to hang out with, especially since getting married, having kids, having different jobs and just growing older will work against your friendship anyway.

Yup, and that's why usually people have different friends at different stages in their lives. I think it's probably not common that your BF from first grade is still your BF when you're an adult because you grow apart.
 

tacomancer

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Yup, and that's why usually people have different friends at different stages in their lives. I think it's probably not common that your BF from first grade is still your BF when you're an adult because you grow apart.

That and people often make friends because deep down they need or want something that other person can give. Whether its self confidence, a fun time, a good conversation, companionship, or any number of things. At different stages in life, people can also give different things. We all have things in abundance and things we crave at any point in our lives. Friendships are often make or broken on those and when people change as they grow older.
 

tacomancer

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Indeed. However, I always win when it comes to debating myself.

a_winner_is_you_1024.jpg
 

ChrisL

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That and people often make friends because deep down they need or want something that other person can give. Whether its self confidence, a fun time, a good conversation, companionship, or any number of things. At different stages in life, people can also give different things. We all have things in abundance and things we crave at any point in our lives. Friendships are often make or broken on those and when people change as they grow older.

I actually do have a few friends from childhood that I still talk to, but we certainly aren't close like we used to be. It's also harder to make and keep friends as you get older because you might be busy; or anyone you meet that you could be a potential friend, you both might live completely different lives.
 

tacomancer

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I actually do have a few friends from childhood that I still talk to, but we certainly aren't close like we used to be. It's also harder to make and keep friends as you get older because you might be busy; or anyone you meet that you could be a potential friend, you both might live completely different lives.

I am not saying its impossible. Its just the way friendships seem to work. People are attracted to each other because they have something to give each other.
 

ChrisL

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I am not saying its impossible. Its just the way friendships seem to work. People are attracted to each other because they have something to give each other.

Absolutely. I find now that I'm older though, that it's a lot more "work" to maintain friendships. :lol: Some are worth it and some just are not.
 

sbrettt

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Suppose you're joining an anti-alcohol protest, which you're very enthusiastic about, while your friend is managing a wine lounge. If your protest goes well it will definitely have negative impact on your friend's business, and your friend will beg you to stop. What would you do?
Oh, that's a tough one. I figure, as long as you're not in your friends face about it, and they're understanding of why you feel that way it should be all right. Although, even then that's a hard one to reconcile.
 

Helix

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Suppose you're joining an anti-alcohol protest, which you're very enthusiastic about, while your friend is managing a wine lounge. If your protest goes well it will definitely have negative impact on your friend's business, and your friend will beg you to stop. What would you do?

friends have to respect boundaries. for example, i could be friends with a teetotaller. however, if most of our conversations involved him harping on about me having a drink, that would get old. likewise, i wouldn't spike his coffee to make a point or call him a square.

i have a couple tight groups of close friends. we disagree about some things and have our own paths, but we generally don't **** with each other.
 

DashingAmerican

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You either grow apart or you grow together. If you don't follow your dreams, for the benefit of someone else, you're just going to resent them and hate yourself.
 

MaggieD

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Suppose you're joining an anti-alcohol protest, which you're very enthusiastic about, while your friend is managing a wine lounge. If your protest goes well it will definitely have negative impact on your friend's business, and your friend will beg you to stop. What would you do?

A "friend" wouldn't beg you to stop. He'd laugh his ass off at the irony. ;)
 

Goshin

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If your best friend and you had different, maybe contradicting visions. what would you do?
Speakin of "vision", I am referrinng to a lifetime career, not just simply which movie to see at the weekend. Would you compromise to maintain your friendship, or walk your own path, despite knowing that your best friend might one day become your arch enemy?
From what I know, those who choose the latter do not usually end up happlily. We have Mark Zuckerberg vs Eduardo Saverin in "the social network", and Liu Bei vs Cao Cao in "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". Yet I also find it hard to give up my dream for someone else.
I am working on a project about this topic, so I would appreciate any constructive opinion.


Thanks a lot! :mrgreen:




I don't know that it matters much. The day will come when you realize you are not going to change the world; it will instead change you, or break you, or both.

Your dreams will crumble and fade; most of your friends will betray you and prove themselves untrustworthy.


This is reality for 99.9% of humanity. Hardly anyone changes the world, or makes their dream into reality... at least not without a lot of compromise and sacrifice along the way.

When this happens to you, as it does to almost everyone, whether you come out of the other side of it still holding on to your integrity and a reason to live, or just fall into self-deception or self-destruction, will reveal your true character. If you emerge more or less intact, then you might be able to start forging a life worth living and might be able to really determine what friendship really is, and importantly who is really a friend.


Not meaning to get you down or anything.... :mrgreen:
 

Gipper

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If your best friend and you had different, maybe contradicting visions. what would you do?
Speakin of "vision", I am referrinng to a lifetime career, not just simply which movie to see at the weekend. Would you compromise to maintain your friendship, or walk your own path, despite knowing that your best friend might one day become your arch enemy?
From what I know, those who choose the latter do not usually end up happlily. We have Mark Zuckerberg vs Eduardo Saverin in "the social network", and Liu Bei vs Cao Cao in "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". Yet I also find it hard to give up my dream for someone else.
I am working on a project about this topic, so I would appreciate any constructive opinion.


Thanks a lot! :mrgreen:

In the first case, I'd determine (along with my friend) the best course of action. In the second, I'd let Guan Yu lead my troops into battle with max leadership and nearly max war/personal combat. Only ones that can beat me are my best friend Zhang Fei, and that butthole Lu Bu that only thinks of himself. Nice horse though.
 

ChrisL

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I don't know that it matters much. The day will come when you realize you are not going to change the world; it will instead change you, or break you, or both.

Your dreams will crumble and fade; most of your friends will betray you and prove themselves untrustworthy.


This is reality for 99.9% of humanity. Hardly anyone changes the world, or makes their dream into reality... at least not without a lot of compromise and sacrifice along the way.

When this happens to you, as it does to almost everyone, whether you come out of the other side of it still holding on to your integrity and a reason to live, or just fall into self-deception or self-destruction, will reveal your true character. If you emerge more or less intact, then you might be able to start forging a life worth living and might be able to really determine what friendship really is, and importantly who is really a friend.


Not meaning to get you down or anything.... :mrgreen:

That was quite a downer. :(
 

Goshin

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That was quite a downer. :(



I have this unpleasant habit of telling young idealists more truth than they're generally willing to hear. :)
 
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