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For those that voted for "hope and change".....

jujuman13

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Only he could get away with this ....


Hello, dummies! Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?

Seriously, Senator Reid has a face of a Saint - A Saint Bernard. Now I know why they call you the arithmetic man. You add partisanship, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Reid is so physically unimposing, he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T. And Reid's so dumb, he makes Speaker Pelosi look like an intellectual. Nevada is soooo screwed! If I were less polite, I'd say Reid makes Kevin Federline look successful.

Speaking of the Speaker ... Nancy Pelosi, hubba, hubba! Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.
Seriously, the Speaker may look like an idiot and talks like an idiot but don't let that fool you. She really is an idiot.

Charlie Rangel ... still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind. What does that make, six decades of theft?
Rangel's the only man with a rent-controlled mansion. He's the guy who writes our tax laws but forgot to pay taxes on $75 grand in rental income! So why isn't he the Treasury Secretary? Rangel runs more scams than a Nigerian Banker.

Barney Frank ... he's a better actor than Fred Flintstone. Consider that he and Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown, and they're not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they're still heading up the financial system!
Let's all admit it ... Barney Frank slobbers more than a sheepdog on Novocain.. How did this guy get elected? Oh, that's right ... he's from Massachusetts . That's the state that elects Mr. Charisma, John Kerry -- man of the people!

You know, if Senator Dodd were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him.
Here's a news flash, Dodd: when your local newspaper calls you a "lying weasel," it may be time to retire.
Dodd's involved in more shady deals than the Clintons . Even Rangel looks up to him!

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, I really respect you ... especially given your upbringing ~ All you've overcome. I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory. I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works for you. Personally, I don't think you're a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others?

As for President Obama, what can I say? They say President Obama's arrogant and aloof, but I don't agree.
Now it's true when you enter the room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.
His mind is open to new ideas -- so open that ideas simply pass through it. Obama lies so much, I was actually surprised to find out his first name really was Barack.
Just don't ask about his middle name! But Obama was able to set a record ... he actually lied more in 60 days than Bill Clinton.


FOR THOSE THAT VOTED FOR "HOPE AND CHANGE".....

BEND OVER AND PREPARE TO RECEIVE YOUR BOUNTY!
President Obama just completed the UNHOLY and ANTI-AMERICAN TRIFECTA:

1st president in 110 years to miss the annual Army-Navy Football Game.
1st president to not attend any Christmas religious observance.
1st president to stay on vacation after a terrorist attack.

AND ALL IN THE SAME MONTH! WHAT A GREAT PRESIDENT.
 

jujuman13

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A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure the nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him. Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vasectomy is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever.

The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient sees six men in a room masturbating. Curious, the man asks "What are they doing in there"?

The nurse responds, "They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have ObamaCare.”
 

samsmart

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Only he could get away with this ....


Hello, dummies! Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?

Seriously, Senator Reid has a face of a Saint - A Saint Bernard. Now I know why they call you the arithmetic man. You add partisanship, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Reid is so physically unimposing, he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T. And Reid's so dumb, he makes Speaker Pelosi look like an intellectual. Nevada is soooo screwed! If I were less polite, I'd say Reid makes Kevin Federline look successful.

Speaking of the Speaker ... Nancy Pelosi, hubba, hubba! Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.
Seriously, the Speaker may look like an idiot and talks like an idiot but don't let that fool you. She really is an idiot.

Charlie Rangel ... still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind. What does that make, six decades of theft?
Rangel's the only man with a rent-controlled mansion. He's the guy who writes our tax laws but forgot to pay taxes on $75 grand in rental income! So why isn't he the Treasury Secretary? Rangel runs more scams than a Nigerian Banker.

Barney Frank ... he's a better actor than Fred Flintstone. Consider that he and Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown, and they're not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they're still heading up the financial system!
Let's all admit it ... Barney Frank slobbers more than a sheepdog on Novocain.. How did this guy get elected? Oh, that's right ... he's from Massachusetts . That's the state that elects Mr. Charisma, John Kerry -- man of the people!

You know, if Senator Dodd were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him.
Here's a news flash, Dodd: when your local newspaper calls you a "lying weasel," it may be time to retire.
Dodd's involved in more shady deals than the Clintons . Even Rangel looks up to him!

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, I really respect you ... especially given your upbringing ~ All you've overcome. I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory. I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works for you. Personally, I don't think you're a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others?

As for President Obama, what can I say? They say President Obama's arrogant and aloof, but I don't agree.
Now it's true when you enter the room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.
His mind is open to new ideas -- so open that ideas simply pass through it. Obama lies so much, I was actually surprised to find out his first name really was Barack.
Just don't ask about his middle name! But Obama was able to set a record ... he actually lied more in 60 days than Bill Clinton.


FOR THOSE THAT VOTED FOR "HOPE AND CHANGE".....

BEND OVER AND PREPARE TO RECEIVE YOUR BOUNTY!
President Obama just completed the UNHOLY and ANTI-AMERICAN TRIFECTA:

1st president in 110 years to miss the annual Army-Navy Football Game.
1st president to not attend any Christmas religious observance.
1st president to stay on vacation after a terrorist attack.

AND ALL IN THE SAME MONTH! WHAT A GREAT PRESIDENT.
And yet they were all determined to be better than the alternative.

Provide better alternatives and they will get chosen.
 

tacomancer

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Don't quit your day job.
 

jujuman13

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A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin,"Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs, in New Orleans , please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up... So she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think.
 

Redress

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BEND OVER AND PREPARE TO RECEIVE YOUR BOUNTY!
President Obama just completed the UNHOLY and ANTI-AMERICAN TRIFECTA:

1st president in 110 years to miss the annual Army-Navy Football Game.
1st president to not attend any Christmas religious observance.
1st president to stay on vacation after a terrorist attack.

AND ALL IN THE SAME MONTH! WHAT A GREAT PRESIDENT.
Why spam emails are bad: A “Trifecta” of Nonsense | FactCheck.org

Using the exact same wording as a spam email that was disproven back in January...I know, who would want to let little things like facts and honesty get in the way of a perfectly good rant...
 

jujuman13

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Why spam emails are bad: A “Trifecta” of Nonsense | FactCheck.org

Using the exact same wording as a spam email that was disproven back in January...I know, who would want to let little things like facts and honesty get in the way of a perfectly good rant...
Oh dear, did I perchance ruffle your feathers by posting such?

Thanks to megaprogman for your suggestion, however I rarely have the sound switched on on my computer.
 
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Redress

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Oh dear, did I perchance ruffle your feathers by posting such?

Thanks to megaprogman for your suggestion, however I rarely have the sound switched on on my computer.
Actually, you hit on the concept of this forum perfectly. You made me laugh. Just not in the way you intended.
 

jujuman13

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Actually, you hit on the concept of this forum perfectly. You made me laugh. Just not in the way you intended.
I take laughter anyway it is presented as it denotes some minute attention to my posts.
 

Redress

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