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Easter story

Nickyjo

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Heard this a conference of priests and ministers many years ago. The question was how did the Cardinals manage to elect a non-Italian Pope after hundreds of years.

It seems the Cardinals didn't want to go through a big election just months after the short time of John Paul I. So they decided to create a committee to interview the three obvious-to-everybody finalists, an Irishman, an Italian, and a Pole. The committee opted to ask just one question of each candidate, "what is the meaning of Easter?"

The first candidate, the Irishman, said "Weel now, Easter is when you go into the cellar and bring up a bottle of fine Irish whisky, and give everyone a dram, and do it again and..."

"Thank you, your Eminence, we'll get back to you," said the committee chair. Then they asked the Italian Cardinal to come in and posed the same question to him:

"Atsa easy," came the reply. "Atsa when you gotta two collections instead of one and you getta lotsa money and..."

"We appreciate your thoughts, Cardinal," said the chair. "Leave your contact information with the secretary at reception."

Then entered the Polish candidate, who was asked the same question. His response:

"Easter is the central feast of Christianity. In fact, some say it is the central fact of human history. It begins on Ash Wednesday, when Catholics receive ashes on their foreheads to remind them of their mortality. It continues for 40 days of Lent, commemorating the 40 years the Jews wandered to reach the Holy Land, and Jesus's own 40 days in the desert. It culminates in Holy Week, beginning with Christ's triumphal entry into Jerusalem, then on to Holy Thursday, where he sups with the apostles and predicts his death, continues on to Good Friday, where he is hung on the cross for three hours and dies. He is placed in a tomb and spends Friday night, Saturday and Saturday night there. On Sunday, the stone is rolled back from the tomb, and the risen Christ emerges into the sunlight of that first Easter morning.. And if he sees his shadow..."
 
You got me , all the way to the very end you got me 😂
 
You got me , all the way to the very end you got me 😂
Thanks. I told this story at work to a group of interns. 2/3 of the way thru I realized that one of them was from Britain. My assistant, who had heard the story, cracked up. Sure enough, when the final line came, three people laughed an one remained stone faced. After she went back to England she sent me a post card saying she had seen "Ground Hog" day and got and appreciated the joke.
 
When the Italian started speaking, I cracked up! It sounded so much like Chico Marx! :)

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We Italians know how to imitate our “accented” relatives. Done alla time when I wasa kid.

Nicky, I knew a boy who could put on a funny British (Cockney?) accent that would crack my friends and me up! He eventually told us that he was actually born in England, and while he no longer spoke with the accent, his parents still did--which made it easy for him to imitate it! :)
 
Nicky, I knew a boy who could put on a funny British (Cockney?) accent that would crack my friends and me up! He eventually told us that he was actually born in England, and while he no longer spoke with the accent, his parents still did--which made it easy for him to imitate it! :)
One story if you are willing. I was visiting my uncle Tony and aunt Lily, both born in Italy, both spoke with accents. It about 1pm and uncle Tony and I are making sandwiches in the kitchen, aunt Lily watching daytime TV. All of a sudden we hear her yelling at the TV from the next room, “ Because-ah you no good, thats-ah why!”

I look at my uncle: “Your aunt Lily, she love-ah the soap operas.”
 
One story if you are willing. I was visiting my uncle Tony and aunt Lily, both born in Italy, both spoke with accents. It about 1pm and uncle Tony and I are making sandwiches in the kitchen, aunt Lily watching daytime TV. All of a sudden we hear her yelling at the TV from the next room, “ Because-ah you no good, thats-ah why!”

I look at my uncle: “Your aunt Lily, she love-ah the soap operas.”

:)

Truth be known, I think an Italian accent is beautiful--on both men and women. On a woman, it makes her interesting. On a man, it makes him . . . well, let's just say I like it on a man. :)
 
:)

Truth be known, I think an Italian accent is beautiful--on both men and women. On a woman, it makes her interesting. On a man, it makes him . . . well, let's just say I like it on a man. :)
What is it with women and accents or other languages? I learned Spanish some years ago, and my girlfriend, now wife, used to get excited at my Spanish language message on my answering machine, necessary for work reasons. I remember Jamie Lee Curtis’ ecstasy at John Cleese’s speaking Russian in “A Fish Called Wanda.”
 
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