Dr. Laura: Was she right or wrong?

[liblady]

Well, actually, she was pretty much on point in her message. But the way she made it was, well, politically incorrect to say the least. There seems to be certain words that blacks are allowed to say that white people cannot say. In fact, there are certain facts and statistics that whites are not allowed to point out either, but I digress. That, in and of itself, is pretty ****ed-up but we live in a world where racial activists have made racism a cottage industry and I don't foresee these people going away anytime soon.

Suck it up whitey. LOL!

how about this.......she was just plain obnoxiously rude. when did THAT become acceptable?

 

[Andalublue]

She made one or two good points. It is illogical to say that black comedians or artists using the word are attempting to take the sting out of its historical negative connotations and then say that only black people are allowed to use it. It seems like an admission of failure, because if they are trying to convert it back into just another word, then the non-insulting use of it by everyone would suggest they had succeeded. Dr Laura used it in a purely explanatory sense, she certainly wasn't using it as an insult.

She does seem to have a bit of a chip on her shoulder about black activists and the NAACP, however. It's a sweeping generalisation to say that they all flip over this, or that they all demonstrate double standards.

Added to that, she gave terrible advice and certainly did not allow her caller properly to explain the nature of her reason for calling. Laura just launched into a diatribe, that's not the behaviour of or good practice for someone supposedly counselling people. That is the behaviour of a radio shock jock. Perhaps that's what she'd prefer to be.

 

[Objective Voice]

She blew it. She had a wide-open door to discuss race relations - and she slammed it shut.

Wrong. She was discussing race relations. That was the subject of the call. She just wasn't discussing it in the prescribed manner which is usually pandering to special interest and political correctness.

Actually, BDBoop is correct. Dr. Laura blew a perfect opportunity to help advise this African-American caller in a way that she could have improved her relationship w/her white husband while also improving race relations with "his" white male friends. You see, the advise Dr. Laura gave wasn't about how to improve race relations in particular when yours is a "mixed-marriage" such as mine is (I'm African-American, my wife is white). Dr. Laura attacked the woman's sensativity level on the issue of race when a non-Black male who she perceived as being bigotted "in her home" where she didn't really know the man to the extent that her husband's friend was "their friend", not just her husband's. So, in the broader context, Dr. Laura missed an opportunity to help improve or even save a marriage while also missing an oppportunity to have an open, honest dialog on her popular, nationally syndicated radio show.

As to the word "nigga" or in it's more proper form, "nigger" IT IS A CRUEL, VIAL, DISPICABLE WORD GENERALLY USED TO DENOTE HATRED AND BIGOTRY TOWARDS AFRICAN-AMERICANS. However, what alot of white people don't seem to understand is how African-Americans can use the word and get away with it while they cannot. Well, here's why white folks can't but blacks can:

WE DON'T GIVE THAT WORD POWER to degrade, disgrace, put down, humiliate or condemn one towards the other. Generally speaking, when the word is used amongst ourselves, we use it as a term of endearment. As such, WE remove the sting of negativity that is commonly associated with the word, "nigger". It is commonly used in humorous content among many Black comedians, but one must understand the context of that humor to understand how it isn't found to be offensive to most African-Americans.

You see, when the word, "nigga" is used in schetch comedy, WE understand that it is being used to discuss certain aspects of both the African-American community, as well as, as a "legitimate opening" to discuss social/stereo-typical issues that affect the African-American community. To that extent, the word, "nigga", loses it's sting. It does NOT have power. In recent times, we've even accepted white comedians using the word because it is understood that they are coming from the exact same position of understanding. Those white comedians who have used the word have greatly demonstrated that they not only understand the social/stereo-typical issues that affect US, but very likely have lived among US and have continuously enteracted with us to such a degree that WE understand that they pose no threat to US. But let a white person who we don't know, who comes across in a threatening manner even if used as a racial joke, now you've placed meaningful hurt back into that word.

So, the question is this: "Should the word, 'nigger' or any derivative thereof be removed from the American lexicon?"

As crazy as it may seem, my vote is no and here's why...

It's part of who/what America is. But we should allow it to simply fade away much like the word, "cracka" once used prominently to discribed a bigoted white man has pretty much faded away because it's no longer hip or cool to say. Eventually, the "N-word" will go away but only after it, like not only is no longer hip or cool, but also once the sting of degredation is finally gone away.

Back to Dr. Laura, had she stopped long enough to listen to what the caller was saying and addressed her problem instead of attempting to inject her own moral values upon her, she could have avoid this contraversy entirely. I was alittle uneasy with what I heard even after hearing the full dialog, but still felt that Dr. Laura made some good points. I think she crossed the line, however, when she told the woman she shouldn't have married outside her race because at that point she wasn't advising or using examples of how the N-word has been used under various social commentary platforms, i.e., black entertainment comedy, etc. Now, she's injected her own biasness into the equation. That was wrong of her.

 

[BDBoop]

how about this.......she was just plain obnoxiously rude. when did THAT become acceptable?

My guess is Howard Stern. Wonder how she'd like being compared to him.

 

[BDBoop]

Back to Dr. Laura, had she stopped long enough to listen to what the caller was saying and addressed her problem instead of attempting to inject her own moral values upon her, she could have avoid this contraversy entirely. I was alittle uneasy with what I heard even after hearing the full dialog, but still felt that Dr. Laura made some good points. I think she crossed the line, however, when she told the woman she shouldn't have married outside her race because at that point she wasn't advising or using examples of how the N-word has been used under various social commentary platforms, i.e., black entertainment comedy, etc. Now, she's injected her own biasness into the equation. That was wrong of her.

Exactly. Because it stopped being about race at some point and started being about humanity. She mocked the woman, minimized the situation, belittled her feelings - that was an entire call of pure ugliness.

 

[liblady]

My guess is Howard Stern. Wonder how she'd like being compared to him.

i was thinking about this.....in conversation with friends, we sometimes call each bitches, in fun. like, you bitch! why didn't you tell me that?! however, if someone i didn't know called me that, or a man called me that, i'm pretty sure i wouldn't like it. so, how is that different than a person using the n word when they don't know a person, or aren't in that inner circle? i don't think it's any different.

 

[BDBoop]

i was thinking about this.....in conversation with friends, we sometimes call each bitches, in fun. like, you bitch! why didn't you tell me that?! however, if someone i didn't know called me that, or a man called me that, i'm pretty sure i wouldn't like it. so, how is that different than a person using the n word when they don't know a person, or aren't in that inner circle? i don't think it's any different.

Oh yeah. Some women are up for 'bitch' as a term of endearment and other really, really aren't.

 

[Objective Voice]

i was thinking about this.....in conversation with friends, we sometimes call each bitches, in fun. like, you bitch! why didn't you tell me that?! however, if someone i didn't know called me that, or a man called me that, i'm pretty sure i wouldn't like it. so, how is that different than a person using the n word when they don't know a person, or aren't in that inner circle? i don't think it's any different.

You got it, Lib! Perfect example of what I was attempting to illustrate...100% on the money!!! My wife hates it when I say that word even to her, but she's perfectly okay with using it when the exchange in dialog is among her closest female friends. Why? Because the ugliness - the sting - of that word is taken away. But let there be a cat-fight and some chick calls her a bitch and girlfriend...it's on!

GREAT EXAMPLE!!!

 

[Andalublue]

i was thinking about this.....in conversation with friends, we sometimes call each bitches, in fun. like, you bitch! why didn't you tell me that?! however, if someone i didn't know called me that, or a man called me that, i'm pretty sure i wouldn't like it. so, how is that different than a person using the n word when they don't know a person, or aren't in that inner circle? i don't think it's any different.

Gay men call one another fags (US) or puffs (UK) or queer but take great offence to, as OV pointed out, people we don't know using the words when we suspect they either don't understand the context or don't know how to use them without causing offence. My point to OV is that surely it IS possible for white people or straight people to use these words in the correct context AND for black/gay people to recognise and accept that they are not being used for their original and pejorative impact. I suspect this make take some time, though.

 

[Objective Voice]

Andalublue,

You are correct. It will take time, but right now with race so heavily injected into the political mainstream on so many levels, i.e., white -vs- black, gay -vs- straight, Christian -vs- Muslim, Hispanic -vs-...everyone else it seems, it will be difficult to bridge that racially charged chasm.

 

[jallman]

Yeah, I stopped reading right there.

Yet you'll thank a post where some douche calls everyone he disagrees with an idiot?

 

[rhinefire]

If we can't say it then why can we hear it as the doctor said? We hear it on tv and now we here it on radio and she should apologize? NEVER!!!!

 

[Objective Voice]

We hear it on cable television because we pay for the entire content of cable television. In other words, you choose to have cable television programming. Therefore, you accept the risks associated with it. If you don't want to hear the vulgarity or watch the nudity that comes with cable programming, you do have 2.5 choices:

1. Block certain channels you find offensive if your cable subscriber allows you to do so. If not,

1a. Change cable television subscribers; or,

2. Stop paying for cable television and stick with local programming.

Never forget that under FCC law, cable programming cannot be censored as with local network programming because YOU pay for it whereas the other is provided to you free of charge.

 

[Captain America]

She made one or two good points. It is illogical to say that black comedians or artists using the word are attempting to take the sting out of its historical negative connotations and then say that only black people are allowed to use it. It seems like an admission of failure, because if they are trying to convert it back into just another word, then the non-insulting use of it by everyone would suggest they had succeeded. Dr Laura used it in a purely explanatory sense, she certainly wasn't using it as an insult.

She does seem to have a bit of a chip on her shoulder about black activists and the NAACP, however. It's a sweeping generalisation to say that they all flip over this, or that they all demonstrate double standards.

Added to that, she gave terrible advice and certainly did not allow her caller properly to explain the nature of her reason for calling. Laura just launched into a diatribe, that's not the behaviour of or good practice for someone supposedly counselling people. That is the behaviour of a radio shock jock. Perhaps that's what she'd prefer to be.

I think most folks realize that "Dr." Laura isn't one to go to for sound advice. I think she is better labeled a shock-jock. It's a tough market out there in right-wing punditland. LOT'S of competition. The bar of attrocity keeps getting raised. They have to compete. I wonder what Beck and Limbaugh will do now to top that?

 

[Captain America]

We hear it on cable television because we pay for the entire content of cable television. In other words, you choose to have cable television programming. Therefore, you accept the risks associated with it. If you don't want to hear the vulgarity or watch the nudity that comes with cable programming, you do have 2.5 choices:

1. Block certain channels you find offensive if your cable subscriber allows you to do so. If not,

1a. Change cable television subscribers; or,

2. Stop paying for cable television and stick with local programming.

Never forget that under FCC law, cable programming cannot be censored as with local network programming because YOU pay for it whereas the other is provided to you free of charge.

Actually, it was cable where I heard about this story and even then they "bleeped" out the "N" words..

 

[BDBoop]

Yet you'll thank a post where some douche calls everyone he disagrees with an idiot?

Where was that.

 

[liblady]

She made one or two good points. It is illogical to say that black comedians or artists using the word are attempting to take the sting out of its historical negative connotations and then say that only black people are allowed to use it. It seems like an admission of failure, because if they are trying to convert it back into just another word, then the non-insulting use of it by everyone would suggest they had succeeded. Dr Laura used it in a purely explanatory sense, she certainly wasn't using it as an insult.

She does seem to have a bit of a chip on her shoulder about black activists and the NAACP, however. It's a sweeping generalisation to say that they all flip over this, or that they all demonstrate double standards.

Added to that, she gave terrible advice and certainly did not allow her caller properly to explain the nature of her reason for calling. Laura just launched into a diatribe, that's not the behaviour of or good practice for someone supposedly counselling people. That is the behaviour of a radio shock jock. Perhaps that's what she'd prefer to be.

did you listen? she was downright NASTY.

 

[Marilyn Monroe]

First off the black woman who called in is living with a very insensitive group of people. Seems she obviously wasn't looking at the whole picture before she married. To me the "n" word is always unacceptable even when used by comedians, and they know it. When blacks use it towards each other it's supposed to be affectionate, but I find that to be a bit contrived. They are really trying to come up with a method that keeps whites out for the most part. This so-called affection is a fairly new use of the "n" word, and I think it got "made up" when blacks realized even they shouldn't be using this terminology, so they really were forced to change the negative meaning of the word on certain occasions. I grew up with blacks, and don't recall them ever using the "n" word for any reason. They used to say "bro" as a friendly greeting, but like I say I think the "n" word towards each other, only, is a contrived meaning, and it needs to get tossed. It's nonsensical. It's a hideous word that was created by whites, so continuing to use it keeps those old bigots alive, and well. This definitely should not be.

Laura should have told the woman to have a sit down chat with her white relatives and tell them they need to stop treating her differently and with such callous disregard for her feelings because it offends her.

 

[Objective Voice]

Actually, it was cable where I heard about this story and even then they "bleeped" out the "N" words..

You are correct. So, let me clarify...

Premium cable channels. Basic cable, i.e., news, sports, regular programming except Comedy Central "after dark (12am)" aren't exempt. But you can block most premium (pay-per-view) cable channels.

 

[jambalaya]

Actually, BDBoop is correct. Dr. Laura blew a perfect opportunity to help advise this African-American caller in a way that she could have improved her relationship w/her white husband while also improving race relations with "his" white male friends. You see, the advise Dr. Laura gave wasn't about how to improve race relations in particular when yours is a "mixed-marriage" such as mine is (I'm African-American, my wife is white). Dr. Laura attacked the woman's sensativity level on the issue of race when a non-Black male who she perceived as being bigotted "in her home" where she didn't really know the man to the extent that her husband's friend was "their friend", not just her husband's. So, in the broader context, Dr. Laura missed an opportunity to help improve or even save a marriage while also missing an oppportunity to have an open, honest dialog on her popular, nationally syndicated radio show.

As to the word "nigga" or in it's more proper form, "nigger" IT IS A CRUEL, VIAL, DISPICABLE WORD GENERALLY USED TO DENOTE HATRED AND BIGOTRY TOWARDS AFRICAN-AMERICANS. However, what alot of white people don't seem to understand is how African-Americans can use the word and get away with it while they cannot. Well, here's why white folks can't but blacks can:

WE DON'T GIVE THAT WORD POWER to degrade, disgrace, put down, humiliate or condemn one towards the other. Generally speaking, when the word is used amongst ourselves, we use it as a term of endearment. As such, WE remove the sting of negativity that is commonly associated with the word, "nigger". It is commonly used in humorous content among many Black comedians, but one must understand the context of that humor to understand how it isn't found to be offensive to most African-Americans.

You see, when the word, "nigga" is used in schetch comedy, WE understand that it is being used to discuss certain aspects of both the African-American community, as well as, as a "legitimate opening" to discuss social/stereo-typical issues that affect the African-American community. To that extent, the word, "nigga", loses it's sting. It does NOT have power. In recent times, we've even accepted white comedians using the word because it is understood that they are coming from the exact same position of understanding. Those white comedians who have used the word have greatly demonstrated that they not only understand the social/stereo-typical issues that affect US, but very likely have lived among US and have continuously enteracted with us to such a degree that WE understand that they pose no threat to US. But let a white person who we don't know, who comes across in a threatening manner even if used as a racial joke, now you've placed meaningful hurt back into that word.

So, the question is this: "Should the word, 'nigger' or any derivative thereof be removed from the American lexicon?"

As crazy as it may seem, my vote is no and here's why...

It's part of who/what America is. But we should allow it to simply fade away much like the word, "cracka" once used prominently to discribed a bigoted white man has pretty much faded away because it's no longer hip or cool to say. Eventually, the "N-word" will go away but only after it, like not only is no longer hip or cool, but also once the sting of degredation is finally gone away.

Back to Dr. Laura, had she stopped long enough to listen to what the caller was saying and addressed her problem instead of attempting to inject her own moral values upon her, she could have avoid this contraversy entirely. I was alittle uneasy with what I heard even after hearing the full dialog, but still felt that Dr. Laura made some good points. I think she crossed the line, however, when she told the woman she shouldn't have married outside her race because at that point she wasn't advising or using examples of how the N-word has been used under various social commentary platforms, i.e., black entertainment comedy, etc. Now, she's injected her own biasness into the equation. That was wrong of her.

I understand why black comedians use it and the idea of taking the sting out of the word. But I have to disagree that blacks haven't given the word power to denegrate, disgrace and disrespect. Whites gave it the original power but in this recent generation there has been a growing use of the word in a hostile, disrepectful manner by blacks towards each other and even towards other races. So the word has become less sacred so to speak and the indignation over anyone else using the word less justified.

 

[Objective Voice]

Jambalaya,

I can't say I disagree. Among Blacks, the word went from being used primarily among street thugs and part of a punch line to a quasi-term of endearment to a badge of honor thanks to the marketing of gangsta rap. Now that it has become so "commercialized" it has become more mainstream. It's gone from being "some of 'ours'" to "only 'ours'" to "everybody's except..." Still, I cringe whenever I heard that word being used in many rap songs. It's one of the reasons I don't listen to much rap music these days. The negative connotation is very prevalent in them.

The question is "who gets excluded?" Who can use the N-word and who can't? When is it "tolerable" and when isn't it? What are the rules?

As far as I'm concerned, the word shouldn't be used - period. No qualifiers, no excuses. Just don't use it in song whatever format or genra, in dramatic pieces (on/off Broadway nor in movies), in entertainment including comedy or in everyday life. It's a nasty, disgusting word. Unfortunately, WE use it everyday, myself included from time to time. Still, I've never called anyone such in anger. That doesn't make it okay, however. It just means I understand when to use it and when not to, and I only do so when I'm around people who know me and understand the context inwhich I use it. So, for me and my "cliche'", that makes it ok...sorta...for now. Still, for what it's worth and as hypercritical as it is, I still look upon a white person differently...defensively whenever I hear one say it. But with a black man...not so much. You see, when a black man gets angry one to another, we tend to stop calling each other "nigga" in the heat of the moment and go to using other colorful adjectives, i.e., SOB, MF, bitch, punk a**-nigga (which is suppose to be worse than being called just a "nigga"...who knew there could be anything worse than that word, right?), etc. But here's the catch...

Amongst our own WE understand where the hatred is coming from. You see, it's not about the person, but rather it's about the person's conduct. Example:

If you scuff my shoes and don't apologize, I may call you the N-word but I'm angry about what you did, not who you are.

If you owe me money and don't pay me back in a timely manner as promised or you short-change me and give some lame excuse as to why you didn't pay me back in full, I may call you the N-word because I feel you're disrespecting me by trying to get out of your debt.

The word takes on a completely different meaning among us. We're calling the individual out for his conduct, not for who or what he is - a black man. A fellow black man may be rude, disrespectful, a liar, a cheater, a two-bit hustler, a thug, a crook, but he's still a fellow black man in our eyes, equal in every way. But let a white man call one of US that and in our minds we're just another "dumb, lazy, good for nothing, low down, not fit for respect, scum of the Earth, nigger!"

See the difference?

 

[Andalublue]

I think most folks realize that "Dr." Laura isn't one to go to for sound advice. I think she is better labeled a shock-jock. It's a tough market out there in right-wing punditland. LOT'S of competition. The bar of attrocity keeps getting raised. They have to compete. I wonder what Beck and Limbaugh will do now to top that?

Okay, thanks for that. I have to say I'd never heard of her before, or the station she broadcasts on. I understood she portrayed herself as a radio counsellor, my bad!

 

[BDBoop]

Okay, thanks for that. I have to say I'd never heard of her before, or the station she broadcasts on. I understood she portrayed herself as a radio counsellor, my bad!

No, you're right. She does portray herself as such.

 

[Captain America]

Okay, thanks for that. I have to say I'd never heard of her before, or the station she broadcasts on. I understood she portrayed herself as a radio counsellor, my bad!

You're right. She does "portray" herself as such. I'm just saying most folks look upon her as a wingnut shock pundit rather than an actual "Doctor" that one would go to for actual advice. In other words, we look upon her being a "Doctor" much like we look upon Queen Latifuh as being royalty.

 

[Andalublue]

You're right. She does "portray" herself as such. I'm just saying most folks look upon her as a wingnut shock pundit rather than an actual "Doctor" that one would go to for actual advice. In other words, we look upon her being a "Doctor" much like we look upon Queen Latifuh as being royalty.

Or as we think of Captain Courtesy as an inspiring military leader. Point taken. I guess no one would think to go to a radio jock for serious counselling anyway. The caller should probably have known what she was letting herself in for before dialling.