- Joined
- Oct 20, 2009
- Messages
- 28,431
- Reaction score
- 16,990
- Location
- Sasnakra
- Gender
- Female
- Political Leaning
- Moderate
My husband's out of town and i have paperwork to do - and in this paper work are rather depressing inquiries into his health. Oh why do I do this to myself? . . . I always ask myself that when I start dwelling on this inevitable future.
What will I do when he dies? Other than become a wino, write the world's longest and most dull tome, and then live the life of a recluse? Without him, I'll become one of those old, strange women that has too many cats, wears sweaters all year long, has too many kids that never come home to visit, I might even let my home go and live in a hoarder house perhaps but at least my toilet will be functional. And then when I get old? I don't even see myself leaving my own house let alone remarrying.
Am I the only one who sits and thinks of the possibility - KNOWING it's a strong possibility, an inevitable fact - and fearing what it means?
I'd like to imagine I'm a stronger person than that - one who doesn't need a guy in my life to be a whole individual. But I know I'm not. I'm reliant on him to function as a complete person. Take him away and I'm like a poorly written character in one of my sappy smut stories.
What will I do when he dies? Other than become a wino, write the world's longest and most dull tome, and then live the life of a recluse? Without him, I'll become one of those old, strange women that has too many cats, wears sweaters all year long, has too many kids that never come home to visit, I might even let my home go and live in a hoarder house perhaps but at least my toilet will be functional. And then when I get old? I don't even see myself leaving my own house let alone remarrying.
Am I the only one who sits and thinks of the possibility - KNOWING it's a strong possibility, an inevitable fact - and fearing what it means?
I'd like to imagine I'm a stronger person than that - one who doesn't need a guy in my life to be a whole individual. But I know I'm not. I'm reliant on him to function as a complete person. Take him away and I'm like a poorly written character in one of my sappy smut stories.