leoborn
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2013
- Messages
- 587
- Reaction score
- 261
- Location
- Over there
- Gender
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- Private
I agree. Abandoning your child outright over the inability to be present during delivery is simply absurd.
Frankly, I'm not even sure why a man would even want to be present under these particular circumstances anyway. His ex clearly doesn't like him, and he doesn't like her either.
Even if she did allow it, you'd think that the experience would just be incredibly awkward and uncomfortable more than anything else.
I don't get that either. I would feel very uncomfortable knowing that a person did not want me there and would certainly never impose myself on another person in that way.
It just seems strange to me that he wants to be in the birthing room enough to go to court about it. Why is that so important to him?
Its a controlle issue, like rape, and is likely why they're estranged in the first place. This won't be that last lawsuit he fails in their lifetime. They'll be in&out of court for years over visitation, custody, child support, baptism, grades, sports....It just seems strange to me that he wants to be in the birthing room enough to go to court about it. Why is that so important to him?
Interesting, I've never heard of that before. I don't think I'd really want to watch them pull a baby out of an incision in my belly though. :shock: Yeesh, that would freak me out I think.
They made me do it with my teeth.they actually forced me to cut the cord on both my kids. that was gross as hell. urk.....
What we were told is that he would be back by the anesthesiologist. Because of draping there would be nothing to see until the baby popped out - and he would essentially see baby held up and the surgical nurse would take dad and baby off to the side. Frankly there would be much less to see with a C-section than normal l and d. With traditional l and d -everything is all out there, physically and emotionally.
They made me do it with my teeth.
Yuck!
:lol:
It's not the baby that's gross, it's all that other stuff that comes out with it.
Frankly, that's kind of the whole issue here and always has been.
There are only really three reasons why a father should be in the delivery room in the first place; to deliver the child in the highly unlikely event that no one better qualified is available to do so, to comfort / bond with the mother during the birth of their child, and to advocate for the mother's medical wishes in the event that the doctor tries to go "off script," and she becomes too preoccupied with the labor to really be able to speak for herself
However, if a woman doesn't want the father to be present, he won't be accomplishing any of these goals.
He's going to be doing the exact opposite of the former, as all his presence will accomplish is to make the mother upset and resentful of his intrusion. This will make the delivery harder for her, and strain their future relationship.
If they're already in an estranged relationship, she really wouldn't want him medically advocating for her either. This makes his presence useless in that regard as well.
You could argue that he might be able to advocate for the child itself, I suppose. However, even that argument ultimately fails, as the best thing that can be done for the child is to ensure that the mother has an optimal environment in which to deliver it.
Basically all a father's going to represent under the circumstances specified by the OP is a "third wheel," whose presence ultimately winds up doing far more harm to the situation than good.
It might hurt his feelings, but the basic fact of the matter is that any potential father-child "bonding" which might take place as a result of watching it emerge from the mother's birth canal simply pales in comparison to the additional stress and potential risks this particular father's actions introduce into the equation. IMO, he should keep his distance as such.
You would think this would be common sense. :shrug:
If it had been the plan all along that the father would be present, and the mother changed her mind at the last minute simply to spite him, I could at least understand why he might be upset.
However, even then, I don't think I'd file a law suit over it.
They made me do it with my teeth.
Yuck!
:lol:
It's not the baby that's gross, it's all that other stuff that comes out with it.
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