Do nice people finish last?

[Orion]

I heard this today... "Nice guys finish last." I asked the person what they meant.

They said that in today's world, people who are honest, law abiding, don't cheat anyone or the system, don't lie, and who try to make their way through life in all the legitimate ways end up being behind those who are willing to do the opposite in order to gain. As long as you are not caught, you benefit. They added that people are taught to look up to the virtues of being "good" because it makes them easier to control by those in power who are routinely breaking the rules, and that the rules are made to be broken by those who are daring enough to get ahead.

Do you think this is true?

I know a lot of people tend to think of the afterlife as a reason why they should be good in this life, but is that really the only reason to be kind to others and play by the rules?

 

[tacomancer]

Do nice people finish last?

If not, than they keep going until the job is complete

 

[Goshin]

I'd rather be honest and true to my convictions. If I have to lie cheat and steal, screw "first place".

"Mea mihi conscientia pluris est quam omnium sermo."
(My conscience means more to me than what the world says/thinks)

first said a bit differently by "Pliny the Elder", but made famous by his nephew, "Pliny the Younger" (Gaius Plinius Caecilius Secundus - 61AD-112AD IIRC)

 

[rathi]

I would say that nice guys tend towards the middle. They don't make it to top because they aren't willing to destroy their competitors to reach the throne. On the other hand, scumbags without power or talent end up on the bottom because nobody wants to deal with them.

 

[mpg]

I know a lot of people tend to think of the afterlife as a reason why they should be good in this life, but is that really the only reason to be kind to others and play by the rules?

I believe in doing the right thing for the sake of doing the right thing. I don't expect to be rewarded for it. I believe that nice guys finish last and that no good deed goes unpunished, but I'd rather be nice than be rewarded. In other words, I reject the premise of your question. Expecting to be rewarded in the afterlife isn't the only reason that a person would be nice if they believe that nice guys finish last.

 

[1069]

Do nice people finish last?

I think it's more that assertive/aggressive people usually finish first.
Although, by mid-life, most of the nice, passive, peaceful and gentle folks I've known have managed to carve out a comfy niche for themselves somewhere.
While the aggressive people may be more affluent or conventionally "successful", the nice people usually seem happier and more content.

Note that I am not referring to weak people.
People who are weak or damaged nearly always finish last, and rarely find a safe haven in this world, at least not a permanent one.
At least that's been my observation.

 

[MaggieD]

"Nice guys finish last" was said by a guy looking for excuses.

 

[lizzie]

Hmmm, if it's true, I kinda like being in last place.

 

[goldcatt]

It depends what game they're playing, doesn't it?

We don't all live by the same rules or value the same things. Maybe "nice" people actually do finish first in the ways that matter to them.

 

[Gardener]

This would make for a better discussion if it were posted in the sex and sexuality forum.

I imagine most of our female posters would agree with the statement, anyway.

 

[rivrrat]

What is meant by "finish", though? Achieving their goals?

I only play by rules when it benefits me to do so. If I fear going to jail and feel it a likely possibility, then I'm not very likely to break a particular law even if I disagree with it. (and I disagree with quite a few) The "rules" - or laws, I assume? - are not moral. They're just laws. Their "rightness" and "wrongness" are subjective, thus I have no issue breaking the "rules/laws" when I see fit. (i.e., when I don't think I'm going to get caught) What I do NOT do, however, is go against my own personal values. And it's certainly not a desire to go to some mythological "heaven" that drives that.

Being nice to people is beneficial to us. It means that people will be nice to us. When the chips are down, who are people going to help? The asshole who stepped all over them and treated them like ****? Or the "nice guy"? Who do people want to be friends with?

So, honestly, it just depends on what is meant by "finish". Having a happy, satisfying life with oodles of friends and family that you'd do anything for and who would do anything for you? Then the nice guy is going to finish first every time.

 

[goldcatt]

This would make for a better discussion if it were posted in the sex and sexuality forum.

I imagine most of our female posters would agree with the statement, anyway.

Oh, I think most of the ladies grow out of the bad boy phase right about the time they realize they're not really immortal.

Nice might take more patience but it tends to win for the long haul.

 

[Catz Part Deux]

I know a lot of people tend to think of the afterlife as a reason why they should be good in this life, but is that really the only reason to be kind to others and play by the rules?

I tend to subscribe to utilitarianism. The reason to do good and play by the rules is in order to create the sort of society that you want to live in. I also tend to believe that people reap what they sow...not in the afterlife, but in life in general.

 

[Gipper]

Nice guys finish last. Bad boys finish all over your face.

 

[ReverendHellh0und]

I think the cliche is just that. one's "niceness" has little to do with it.

 

[Catz Part Deux]

Nice guys finish last. Bad boys finish all over your face.

Please. Nice guys can deliver a money shot just as well as a bad boy. Usually better. The problem is that in modern society, "nice guy" has become a code word for "passive aggressive friend guy who wants to sex you up but lacks the cojones to try, and then becomes angry when you have sex with his friend."