Did you ever divorce ?

[Risky Thicket]

Imagine what would happen if people put that much effort into saving their marriages....

You nor I know what people expect from a marriage. We don't know the situations involved. We don't know the amount of initial commitment each individual took into the marriage. We don't know the circumstances that evolved and threatened the marriage. We don't know the amount of individual effort either partner put into saving the marriage. There is no way on earth we have the right to sit and judge any person regarding their work to save their marriage.

In my case, I was the second person in my family over many generations to become divorced. I didn't take it lightly and I don't take it lightly today.

We went to our priest for counseling. We liked him very much. He eventually suggested we try a nun who was extremely well regarded as a marriage counselor, though we didn't know of her. In fact our priest volunteered to intercede for us to get an appointment with her. She was that good. In fact she was truly blessed and gifted. We tried and she tried. It didn't work.

Later she suggested I continue on my own with her to "make it a successful divorce". WTF? A nun said that. Right? She also suggested that if I worked on it I should have a better marriage in the future, making fewer mistakes. I agreed. We worked together. It was work. I stuck it out but I did not enjoy it. I did, however, have complete faith in this special woman's ability. At the same time I planned never, ever, to become married again.

Seven years later, I became married a second time. It's been a great marriage. I'm a lucky sumbitch. I had a lot of support. My wife is 1,000 times my better half. I am were I am supposed to be. It wasn't easy getting here.

YOU could never convince me I'd be just as happy in my first marriage. No way. Not a damn chance. Never happen and what's more you can't possibly know what effort anyone put into where I was or where I am. Given what I know I would never say, "imagine what would happen if people put that much effort into saving their marriages....".

 

[EMNofSeattle]

IDK, people should be free to enter or end relationships whenever it suits them. The decision shouldn't rely on some 3rd party arbitrator's blessing.

Well at that point what's the point of having a marriage? at that point it's a glorified boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

 

[Winchester]

Well at that point what's the point of having a marriage? at that point it's a glorified boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

Not really, there are legal ramifications while in a marriage that are important to the people in it.

 

[Inalisist]

I divorced my human side along time ago, but we still take turns using the same body. My human side gets the body on the weekends.

 

[calamity]

Is the op considering divorce? If so, make your decision, stick to your gut instincts and move on as fast as you can.

 

[Middleground]

A shining example of how ORGANIZED RELIGION has been totally corrupted by man.

I know a lady who's currently living this nightmare as well.
The worst part is her children are learning how a frighteningly dysfunctional relationship, is a "normal" relationship.

This kind of idiocy within a religion breeds stupidity.

I can't help but think Jesus might have been repulsed at the way my mother let herself be treated. Does God want us to allow others to abuse us? I don't think so.

And you're bang-on right about the suffering of children. I know first-hand.

 

[Miller12]

thanks

Yes, twice. My first divorce was really harsh and we have spent plenty of grands to satisfy lawyer's demands. As far as we had custodial issues and my wife was a heavy drinker, I didn't want to leave our son with her. The second time was cheaper and less troublesome and my wife was the one who filed that online. She looked at [spam link removed], submitted that and left me within 7 months, since she had to start working in Japan. However, she returned to California and we are dating again. It seems to me that I am going to propose soon, I want to believe that I have already been through all the divorces in my life:lol:

 

[nota bene]

Moderator's Warning:

Necro'd thread closed.