FreeThinker
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Whilst pursuing my endless quest of enlightenment I came across something called "Dark Matter".
Dark matter - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Dark Matter
The theory goes that what we visually see in the universe is not behaving like it should. Stars and planets are moving too quickly or too slowly to account for their masses. There is some unknown outside gravitational force that we can't see but we know is there.
This extra gravity is attributed to "Dark Matter". We can't see it. We can't explain it. It doesn't make ANY sense. It just sits there trying to screw up proven scientific laws with inexplicable nonsense - a gigantic blob that defies all logic and reason.
Fortunately for NASA and all of mankind, I have come up with a hypothesis that I know beyond a doubt will end up a scientific law in the years to come.
I call it The Theory Of the Light Absorbing Omnipresent Douchebag
Scientists have theorized that elementally the big bang was composed of 75% hydrogen and 25% helium, which later burned at high temperatures in stars to become all the other 115 elements that we know of today.
Due to my extremely high IQ and genetically superior origins, I know this not to be the case. There was a third element present in the big bang known as "Billogen".
This "Billogen" existed, much like hydrogen, in a diatomic state, that is each Billogen atom formed an ionic bond with another Billogen atom in what could crudely be described as a dry hump position.
The Billogen element exists for the sole purpose of contradicting all logic and reason. Normal matter, obeying the laws of physics, reflects light. Billogen chooses not to because "reflecting light is just the man's way of holding him down".
If I can find a way to harness these Billogen atoms we might actually be able to build a combustion engine with no harmful ecological byproducts. The only problem would be getting retardation down to a liquefiable temperature as fuel.
I will post more on the properties of this newfound element as I discover them.
Dark matter - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Dark Matter
The theory goes that what we visually see in the universe is not behaving like it should. Stars and planets are moving too quickly or too slowly to account for their masses. There is some unknown outside gravitational force that we can't see but we know is there.

This extra gravity is attributed to "Dark Matter". We can't see it. We can't explain it. It doesn't make ANY sense. It just sits there trying to screw up proven scientific laws with inexplicable nonsense - a gigantic blob that defies all logic and reason.
Fortunately for NASA and all of mankind, I have come up with a hypothesis that I know beyond a doubt will end up a scientific law in the years to come.
I call it The Theory Of the Light Absorbing Omnipresent Douchebag

Scientists have theorized that elementally the big bang was composed of 75% hydrogen and 25% helium, which later burned at high temperatures in stars to become all the other 115 elements that we know of today.
Due to my extremely high IQ and genetically superior origins, I know this not to be the case. There was a third element present in the big bang known as "Billogen".
This "Billogen" existed, much like hydrogen, in a diatomic state, that is each Billogen atom formed an ionic bond with another Billogen atom in what could crudely be described as a dry hump position.
The Billogen element exists for the sole purpose of contradicting all logic and reason. Normal matter, obeying the laws of physics, reflects light. Billogen chooses not to because "reflecting light is just the man's way of holding him down".
If I can find a way to harness these Billogen atoms we might actually be able to build a combustion engine with no harmful ecological byproducts. The only problem would be getting retardation down to a liquefiable temperature as fuel.
I will post more on the properties of this newfound element as I discover them.