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Dads! Do you teach your sons about birth control?

Do you teach your sons about birth control?

  • Total voters
    15
Hard Truth said:
not just because she happens to be a woman
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well um she's my wife
the mother of my child
hah I sleep with her too
yer not one of those bro's before hoe's kinda guys?

If a woman wants to sleep around like a guy
drink n cuss n spit like a guy (ok cain't pee like one)
equal pay for equal work
defend herself like a man
then why in the blue blazes should a guy care about birth control
He Can't Get Pregnant! yer on yer own with that one homeskillet

never mind if they wanna have their cake and eat it too
who am I to say they can't
 
I guess another way of putting it would be that women aren't equal
she was talking about your sister or mother or wife or daughter
(ok they all do have the female attribute in common)
in those cases they are decidedly Superior in my book at least.
 
Jerry said:
There comes a point where the only sane choice is to embrace the madness, otherwise you snap.
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I almost snapped myself at one point in my life. I was betrayed by someone very close to me that I trusted with my life. The details don't matter, but the betrayal was real and heart-wrenching. I learned what real hatred was. It was awful. It drove me into a depression that was so deep I didn't know what to do with it. The pain was so great that it consumed me. All joy was gone from my life.

It took me several years to understand that until I could let go of that hatred, she still controlled me. And happiness would forever elude me. I walked in the countryside. Miles and miles and miles. Every day. I went to church and prayed. I reached out to others and "pretended" to be happy. Until finally? I noticed I sort of was.

I wrote her a letter of forgiveness which I never mailed. I want nothing to do with her. But I've forgiven her by realizing that she was a broken person who did the best she could at the time.

I hope you find your joy again, Jerry. I sense it may be missing in your life.
 
I'm not a dad yet, but my dad did for me. He did a pretty good job to the best of my knowledge, I'm not a dad yet.
 
MaggieD said:
I almost snapped myself at one point in my life. I was betrayed by someone very close to me that I trusted with my life. The details don't matter, but the betrayal was real and heart-wrenching. I learned what real hatred was. It was awful. It drove me into a depression that was so deep I didn't know what to do with it. The pain was so great that it consumed me. All joy was gone from my life.

It took me several years to understand that until I could let go of that hatred, she still controlled me. And happiness would forever elude me. I walked in the countryside. Miles and miles and miles. Every day. I went to church and prayed. I reached out to others and "pretended" to be happy. Until finally? I noticed I sort of was.

I wrote her a letter of forgiveness which I never mailed. I want nothing to do with her. But I've forgiven her by realizing that she was a broken person who did the best she could at the time.

I hope you find your joy again, Jerry. I sense it may be missing in your life.
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While I was on leave from deployment I actually went to her, gave her my wedding ring back and forgave her for everything. I've been to the private and the Army shrinks. Forgiveness brought me no happiness, no peace, it just means you're going to give that person a pass. I don't see where the self-respect is in that.
 
Jerry said:
While I was on leave from deployment I actually went to her, gave her my wedding ring back and forgave her for everything. I've been to the private and the Army shrinks. Forgiveness brought me no happiness, no peace, it just means you're going to give that person a pass. I don't see where the self-respect is in that.
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Hmmm, I have to say that you're ringing a bell. That was part of my problem. Her betrayal cost me my self-respect. That was definitely part of it. I had retired very early -- age 40 -- and, combined with her betrayal came a mourning for a business I'd, in effect, given her. That was part of the betrayal. So. In addition to the walking and praying (I'm not religious) and making believe I was happy, I also got a part-time job. All of it together brought healing. It took four years.

I never knew a person could be in such psychic pain.

The self respect comes in winning. How do we win? We get happy again.

When I forgave her, I stopped hating her. Hating another human being will eat a person from the inside out.

I know we don't share much here in terms of what happened. But I sense you're in emotional pain. THAT I understand. I've been to hell and, finally, back with it.

I wish you well.

Edit: You're right about forgiveness giving the other person a pass. I understand and agree with that.
 
IMO, forgiveness isn't about giving the other person a pass. It's about giving yourself a pass.
 
MaggieD said:
I almost added that to my edit, Sangha. I completely agree.
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The reason to grant forgiveness is so that you can stop beating yourself over what they did.

People do ****ty things all the time. Every day, people are robbed, raped or murdered. There's no need to forgive them because, unless we (or someone close to us) are the victim, we are not emotionally involved in it.

Forgiveness is needed when we are emotionally involved in the wrongdoing. It's needed when we find ourselves asking "How could they do that to me?" and "How could I be so foolish?" etc.
 
Jerry said:
While I was on leave from deployment I actually went to her, gave her my wedding ring back and forgave her for everything. I've been to the private and the Army shrinks. Forgiveness brought me no happiness, no peace, it just means you're going to give that person a pass. I don't see where the self-respect is in that.
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It isn't really an issue of self-respect Jerry. It's an issue of letting go. Letting go of the pain that you are keeping inside you. You can't change the realities of the past. You can't change what has happened to you. You can't change what has been done by you. You can reform your own life in the present, and in the future. Forgiving someone is really more about finding some peace within yourself, than absolving someone else of things they have done wrong. When I have done some incredibly stupid things in the past (and there have been several), it didn't matter how many people forgave me, and it didn't matter if someone told me that God could forgive me. I had to learn to forgive myself for my stupidity, and go on having learned the things I learned from those experiences, and make my life better. The forgiveness is an attitude of acceptance and humility- not of self-respect. And to all of you here, I apologize for getting this thread off-topic, but this is something that I felt needed saying. Jerry- as much as you can be sharp-tongued, and sometimes make me cringe just a little, I honestly think you are a really decent man, with principles and courage. I hope I have not offended you, and if I have, I offer my apology.
 
I see forgiveness not as a pass but just the statement, "it is what it is." You can't really do anything about it, you always wonder what would have happened if it was different. Forgiveness in my opinion is acceptance. In the end that is all you can do.
 
Tried to have "The Discussion" with my son again last night and now I have a toddler running around the house saying "Condoms. Dada blathebla condoms!"
 
Tucker Case said:
Tried to have "The Discussion" with my son again last night and now I have a toddler running around the house saying "Condoms. Dada blathebla condoms!"
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See? He's learning! :lol:
 
CLAX1911 said:
I see forgiveness not as a pass but just the statement, "it is what it is." You can't really do anything about it, you always wonder what would have happened if it was different. Forgiveness in my opinion is acceptance. In the end that is all you can do.
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True. But it's such a struggle to let go. I've experienced the betrayal Maggie was talking about, and it took years. One day in my mind I wished the person dead, the only time in my life I've had that thought, and I was so shocked and horrified by myself that I resolved to turn my own corner.

Not letting go consumes you, which is why you have to let go--for yourself.
 
Actually that has been my policy for my life since I was 15
My Dad wasn't a stellar example of fatherhood and at that time I wanted to kill him.
I realized that was not truly the case and from that time until his passing decades later
I just regarded him with ambivalence.

Many years later when my teen-aged son broke up with his 1st GF and was beginning to
bad mouth her I was able to explain to him that smack talkin' an ex only makes YOU look bad.
If they are such a worthless so and so, what does that say about your ability to choose a partner?

If I really hated someone, I'd Shirley have to kill em
I've never hated anyone since was 15, that's no way to go through life.

Perhaps another way to look at it is
if another person chooses to be with someone else instead of you
if they make life choices you don't agree with
why get your panties inna wad they are a separate free human being
with the right to make their own choices, right?

Going through life poisoned with hate doesn't sound like a whole lotta fun :p
 
Jerry said:
While I was on leave from deployment I actually went to her, gave her my wedding ring back and forgave her for everything. I've been to the private and the Army shrinks. Forgiveness brought me no happiness, no peace, it just means you're going to give that person a pass. I don't see where the self-respect is in that.
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That question to ask yourself is whether you actually gain something from holding on to your anger, or does it harm you more that it helps?
 
love anger sympathy hate just emotional states biochemical states in your brain?
it was ten years later that I learned that you can not only choose your emotional states
but are solely responsible for them

If you'll buy into that, learn to control your mental and emotional state
then why in the name of baby jebus would anyone willingly choose hate or sadness or hurt
as their overriding daily emotional condition? sounds kinda like an illness don't it?
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nota bene said:
True. But it's such a struggle to let go. I've experienced the betrayal Maggie was talking about, and it took years. One day in my mind I wished the person dead, the only time in my life I've had that thought, and I was so shocked and horrified by myself that I resolved to turn my own corner.

Not letting go consumes you, which is why you have to let go--for yourself.
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Indeed, I find that it was more about me than anybody else.
 
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