Dads! Do you teach your sons about birth control?

[opendebate]

It's sad indeed, but the strangest thing was that it w as part of their religion.

Yikes. Like they would be interfering with Gods plan if they used or taught their kids about contraception?

 

[CLAX1911]

Yikes. Like they would be interfering with Gods plan if they used or taught their kids about contraception?

Your desires are sinful, he wad told growing up that he had to be ashamed of his desire for women. It was really odd.

 

[sawyerloggingon]

Your desires are sinful, he wad told growing up that he had to be ashamed of his desire for women. It was really odd.

You must be Catholic

 

[AngryOldGuy]

Very depressing to me that a man would tell his son to get as much poon as he can.

By the time my Son was 15 I told him: back away from the buffet and leave something for the others!

figgerin' out how to tell a guy he should tell them Catholic schoolgirls to put their clothes back on, stop jumpin' on me
Is NOT an issue I ever had to deal with
It came in handy when he was just turned 18 at college and had to turn em down left and right.

 

[CLAX1911]

You must be Catholic

I was Catholic in my youth, but he was Mormon.

 

[Ontologuy]

I talked with both my sons about the consequences of participating in the creation of a prenatal human before they or their partner really wanted to .. and on more than one occasion I talked with them about it.

As a result, it took me forever to get grandchildren.

I don't know if I would do that again.

 

[opendebate]

Your desires are sinful, he wad told growing up that he had to be ashamed of his desire for women. It was really odd.

Damn, that's a pretty twisted message. He must have been a pretty confused kid.

 

[CLAX1911]

Damn, that's a pretty twisted message. He must have been a pretty confused kid.

Indeed he was. They tell him that is wrong to desire women but throw him out when they discover he is gay. Odd indeed

 

[radcen]

Do you talk to them about the consequences of unprotected sex? Discuss the ramifications of an 18-year child support order on their lives? Tell them that some women (girls) will mislead them about the protection they themselves are using? Explain to them how their lives will be irrevocably changed if they get a girl pregnant? Really walk them through the consequences? Discuss protection with them? Give them condoms? How far do you go to protect your son from the burden of an unwanted pregnancy?

Poll up in a minute.

I voted 'sort of' before I read your post, now I wish I could change it to 'yes', as I think that is more in line with what you're asking.

Yes, I stressed to them all the consequences... especially having to pay child support for decades for kids that they may not even know (depending on how petty and vindictive the mother is).

Some people get upset when they learn I did that, but I'm sorry it's just a practical consideration that needs to be included.

 

[digsbe]

I will teach my son (if I have one) about sex and birth control, but I will also teach from a Christian perspective and tell them it is not until they are wed and that sexual activity prior to marriage is wrong.

 

[radcen]

Like some others here, I never did have a "talk" with my boys. It was a constant (as it came up) barrage as they grew up through their teen years. I always felt that a "talk" was too lecture-ish and too easily tuned out, whereas keeping the topic always close by kept it in small easily digestible bites that they could ponder and hopefully retain better.

 

[justabubba]

I will teach my son (if I have one) about sex and birth control, but I will also teach from a Christian perspective and tell them it is not until they are wed and that sexual activity prior to marriage is wrong.

does it not concern you that your admonitions that a marriage is a pre-requisite to sex might motivate your kids to get married prematurely, to get their admission ticket punched, so that they can enjoy sexual relations that are otherwise out of reach

 

[SassySmartie]

I have daughters. They're 18 and 16 and like Aunt Spiker, we had ongoing conversations from the time they were very small about sex, relationships and responsibilities. Along with other important stuff like drug use, standing up for what's right and sticking to their guns when faced with peer pressure. Because we had a constant stream of open communication, my daughters have been able to talk to me about anything and my 18 year old who graduated high school this past spring told me she was so glad I gave them so much info because she heard all kinds of weird ideas from kids about pregnancy and sex. People don't realize that kids start making guesses about that stuff way younger that they think.

I also worked for a while with emotionally disturbed kids in a residential treatment/corrections facility and I taught a sex ed group to teenaged boys and separately to teen girls. It was eye-opening how little kids really knew about sex and pregnancy and STI transmission. [of course, I live in Texas, an abstinence based education state, so I shouldn't have been shocked I guess].

 

[Aderleth]

Do you talk to them about the consequences of unprotected sex? Discuss the ramifications of an 18-year child support order on their lives? Tell them that some women (girls) will mislead them about the protection they themselves are using? Explain to them how their lives will be irrevocably changed if they get a girl pregnant? Really walk them through the consequences? Discuss protection with them? Give them condoms? How far do you go to protect your son from the burden of an unwanted pregnancy?

Poll up in a minute.

I don't have kids, but if I did (or ever do) I'd give them all the details. Also condoms. Frankly I'd drive my son's girlfriend to the abortion clinic if that's what they decided to do.

 

[nota bene]

I was young once and that's what I did. I thought I was being very responsible telling them to use protection and just facing reality knowing that their primary objective at that age was to have as much sex as possible. I don't understand your comment at all.

I agree with you that this is the reality--guys are eager to have as much sex as possible. I think you were being responsible and realistic too. But it's depressing to me still because contributing to the sexual objectification of women is a larger problem. It's about getting off rather than getting to know a girl, about notches on the belt.

Society would profit, in my opinion, if men taught their sons to respect women in the same way that they theoretically respect their mothers and sisters.

 

[sawyerloggingon]

I agree with you that this is the reality--guys are eager to have as much sex as possible. I think you were being responsible and realistic too. But it's depressing to me still because contributing to the sexual objectification of women is a larger problem. It's about getting off rather than getting to know a girl, about notches on the belt.

Society would profit, in my opinion, if men taught their sons to respect women in the same way that they theoretically respect their mothers and sisters.

OK so you make some good points.

 

[Hard Truth]

...My boys are 12 and 9, and no I haven't lectured them about safe sex. In fact I probably never will have "the talk" with them because imo that's the worst possible way to do it. Instead I pay attention to what's going on in their lives (as best I can, anyway, given the situation) and speak into their lives as appropriate.

This is why we need comprehensive sex ed in the schools, starting before puberty. his is why we need comprehensive sex ed in the schools, starting before puberty.

(Update: The quoted poster later mentioned that he doesn't have custody and rarely sees his kids, so I don't want to blame him)

Some kids are having sex by age 12, I bet their parents don't know.

 

[AngryOldGuy]

Hard Truth yer right it takes a village

 

[AngryOldGuy]

Society would profit, in my opinion, if men taught their sons to respect women in the same way that they theoretically respect their mothers and sisters.

Wouldn't that put the kibosh on the whole feminism thing?

 

[Hard Truth]

Quote Originally Posted by nota bene View Post
Society would profit, in my opinion, if men taught their sons to respect women in the same way that they theoretically respect their mothers and sisters.

Wouldn't that put the kibosh on the whole feminism thing?

No. Feminists want women to be treated and respected as equals, not as inferiors or superiors.

 

[Hard Truth]

Well, I was a single mom with a boy and a girl. I didn't wait for the schools to do MY job. Toughest talk was the first with my son--he awakened after his first nocturnal emission screaming and thinking there was something wrong. So there I was leaning over the bunk bed using the medical term I just used and assuring him that the woody was totally normal. After that, it was pretty easy, at least with him. :mrgreen:

Poor kid. This an example of why kids need to be educated earlier than most parents expect.

 

[Hard Truth]

I appreciate the thought, but talking hasn't solved anything over the years, so I don't see how more talking would solve anything in the future.

And besides, if I open up to the VA or whoever at this point it'll only lead to my permits being suspended, my X using it against me in court, and I'll get flagged in the Army which is never a good thing. I'm ****ed no matter what I do.

If you go to a shrink that isn't affiliated with the military they can't divulge anything to anyone without your permission. One big exception: if you express that you might harm someone or yourself they are obligated to report it. The military is known for having below average mental health care, so you're likely to get better results somewhere else.

 

[AngryOldGuy]

So Truther if you've been married to a woman for decades raised children with her love cherish and respect her
hell you'd flippin' give your life to save hers

I guess you'd consider her just equal?

to what?

 

[Jerry]

If you go to a shrink that isn't affiliated with the military they can't divulge anything to anyone without your permission. One big exception: if you express that you might harm someone or yourself they are obligated to report it. The military is known for having below average mental health care, so you're likely to get better results somewhere else.

...uh, exactly.

 

[Hard Truth]

So Truther if you've been married to a woman for decades raised children with her love cherish and respect her
hell you'd flippin' give your life to save hers

I guess you'd consider her just equal?

to what?

She sounds like a special person and probably deserves to be treated well. But that is because of who she is as a person, not just because she happens to be a woman.