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Dads! Do you teach your sons about birth control?

Do you teach your sons about birth control?

  • Total voters
    15
I can't answer quite yet. Mine are 6 and 4, but when they get a little older I will definitely have the talk with them.

I never got The Talk -- any of The Talks. I figured it out on my own, but I figure that's riskier than parental guidance and support.
 
0bserver92 said:
Do Americans have this in sex ed. class or no?
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I doubt American schools have the kind of talk I personally would have with a son. I assume they get a sex education class; but I wouldn't trust that.
 
TacticalEvilDan said:
I can't answer quite yet. Mine are 6 and 4, but when they get a little older I will definitely have the talk with them.

I never got The Talk -- any of The Talks. I figured it out on my own, but I figure that's riskier than parental guidance and support.
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When my dad tried to have 'the talk' with me when I was a teen, all I could think of was "I found your porn stash when I was 5, yeah, I know this already".
 
Jerry said:
When my dad tried to have 'the talk' with me when I was a teen, all I could think of was "I found your porn stash when I was 5, yeah, I know this already".
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When a parent talks to their child about sex, no matter how brief or uninformed the discussion is, the child learns something they couldn't possibly learn from porn - that their parents cares about their sex life and their well being
 
son ... AND daughter


with my son, when i saw he was comfortable hugging his female friend at middle school graduation, in front of her folks and me, that was my cue
the next day i placed a box of condoms on his bed, while he was away, hoping that would prompt some sort of opportunity for a discussion
it did
he wanted to know why i had given him the condoms
excellent question, son
and we talked about a lot of things which required discussion, even beyond pregnancies and STDs into the realm of the importance to satisfy one's partner, and that 'no' means no
and it ended with me letting him know that all he needed to do was give me some sort of signal and i would re-stock his condom supply
to which he insisted that next time i needed to buy the extra large size ... wise ass kid

and in the subsequent 15 years, he has infrequently asked questions, made observations, cracked jokes ... but it was obvious he was comfortable speaking with me about things sexual. in that span i am pleased to say that i have intruded when not asked all of one time, and that was in the past year. i had to remind him that it was important to try to maintain a friendship with a former partner even when the romance was over. and while he insisted then that he could not, he has

my daughter. totally different issue. she took the virgin pledge while in high school
and it was clear that she wanted a way out of it
which again provided me the opportunity to discuss the necessity for safe sex at whatever time SHE chose to become sexually active
but beyond that, nothing. fortunately my wife has/had the rest covered. makes me wonder how single dads raising daughters handle this


jerry. you are one of my favorite forum members. i can always expect a straight forward response from you
so, please accept this in the positive way that it is intended
you scare me
the way you lashed out in this thread causes me to wonder if you have someone to talk to. where you can spill your guts, express your anger, and point out the ****ty hand you have recently been dealt in life
find somebody who will sit down with you and listen to what you have to say. someone who will listen to you vent. someone who will let you get much of the anger out of your system so that you can go forward and quit living life looking in the rear view mirror
and if you don't do it for you, then do it for your kids; so they will have a healthy father in their future, someone not consumed by wrongs which are beyond your control to correct
truly sorry you are going thru this, Jerry
 
My father did. He basically told me that he didn't approve of casual sex, but that if I was going to do that kind of thing anyway, I might as well be safe about it.
 
MaggieD said:
Do you talk to them about the consequences of unprotected sex? Discuss the ramifications of an 18-year child support order on their lives? Tell them that some women (girls) will mislead them about the protection they themselves are using? Explain to them how their lives will be irrevocably changed if they get a girl pregnant? Really walk them through the consequences? Discuss protection with them? Give them condoms? How far do you go to protect your son from the burden of an unwanted pregnancy?

Poll up in a minute.
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I've been working by butt off and haven't been online much... and even when I'm not working I'm not online all the time, (and assume others likewise) so waiting an hour doesn't really mean much does it? :)



Of course I've talked to my son about birth control. Several times, not just once.


We've discussed various types and noted that none of them are 100%, but that they do substantially decrease the odds of unwanted pregnancy or in some cases STDs.
We've also noted that female persons cannot always be trusted when they say "Oh its cool I'm on the pill..." :)

I've explained to him that the only 100% certain way to avoid unwanted pregnancy is abstinence... but also that condoms/etc will make for far better odds if one choses not to "abstain".

In short, "be good... but if you can't be good, be safe." :shrug:


We've discussed what kind of situation he'd be in if he got a girl pregnant at this point in his life. We've talked about what kind of options he'd have, and how many of those options would in fact be under the primary or sole control of the female and how he may not be able to do anything about it if she makes choices contrary to his.

I daresay he's better informed on all this than most 17yo's, and understands the ramifications better too. I've made sure he spent enough time taking care of his baby cousins to get a practical look at how hard it is to be a parent.
 
My boys are 6 and 3, so no. Haven't had the talk with them yet.

I think some adults could use a "ramifications of sex" talk these days.
 
Hey, if you like that one... here's another one (I'm good at "getting the point across" in practical stuff)...

When he was around 3yo, he was bad to break loose and run somewhere, like across the frigging parking lot. I busted his butt but he still did it sometimes.

Well one day there was a VERY dead dog in the road. We stopped and got out to look at it (country road, not much traffic).


It STANK to high heaven (summertime), and there were coils of guts on the road. I pointed. "See that? That's YOU if you keep running out in traffic. You'll get squished. Your guts will be hanging out frying on the hot pavement. You won't be able to breathe because you chest will be crushed. You will die in agony and we'll have to bury you looking like roadkill. Me and your mom and your grandparents will cry forever and never smile again because you got yourself squished dead doing something STUPID. Do you WANT to look like this dog?? Do you???"

Well sir, THAT did it... :lamo
 
My son just turned 2, so...no.
 
Goshin said:
Oh hells to the yeah... nothing says "You ain't ready to be a father" like making a 17yo change a dirty, STANKY diaper. :lamo
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You have to be careful -- with a sicko like me, it just teaches me that it ain't so bad. :lol:

When my grandfather had a stroke, I spent a few years changing his diaper -- at all hours of the night. Suffice it to say that when I became a dad, diapers and late-night wakeups were no big deal.
 
justabubba said:
Jerry, the way you lashed out in this thread causes me to wonder if you have someone to talk to. where you can spill your guts, express your anger, and point out the ****ty hand you have recently been dealt in life
find somebody who will sit down with you and listen to what you have to say. someone who will listen to you vent. someone who will let you get much of the anger out of your system so that you can go forward and quit living life looking in the rear view mirror
and if you don't do it for you, then do it for your kids; so they will have a healthy father in their future, someone not consumed by wrongs which are beyond your control to correct
truly sorry you are going thru this, Jerry
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I had forgotten Jerry's experiences when I answered him on this thread...didn't remember the heartache and that he didn't have custody of his children. I figured he wouldn't accept any compassion from me. The best I could do was refrain from reporting him. ;)

Great post. Wish I'd said it.

As to the rest of your post!! Great dad!!
 
Goshin said:
Hey, if you like that one... here's another one (I'm good at "getting the point across" in practical stuff)...

When he was around 3yo, he was bad to break loose and run somewhere, like across the frigging parking lot. I busted his butt but he still did it sometimes.

Well one day there was a VERY dead dog in the road. We stopped and got out to look at it (country road, not much traffic).


It STANK to high heaven (summertime), and there were coils of guts on the road. I pointed. "See that? That's YOU if you keep running out in traffic. You'll get squished. Your guts will be hanging out frying on the hot pavement. You won't be able to breathe because you chest will be crushed. You will die in agony and we'll have to bury you looking like roadkill. Me and your mom and your grandparents will cry forever and never smile again because you got yourself squished dead doing something STUPID. Do you WANT to look like this dog?? Do you???"

Well sir, THAT did it... :lamo
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Holy ****! :lamo

Yep. That'll do it alright.
 
It's not so much having the talk but how you raise a boy.
The man he will become. If he's raised to accept responsibility
if he see's his mother and father are married
and treat each other with love and respect.
If he's told from a young age LONG before the raging of hormones
causes the deafness that teenage males acquire (and some males never out grow)
that makin' a baby means you should already be married to someone you love
and plan to stick around and help her raise the kid fer yanno like 18 years...

Then lettin' him know that capturing them lil swimmers every time means he's
the one in charge of when he becomes a Daddy is really quite simple!

My kid is 26 he's had a GF since he was 13 (we recently added it up he's only been single
one year out of 13) and in today's post feminism world he's figgered out there is no reason
on gawd's green earth to get married and have children so crap there's goes any hope of me
ever getting to be a grand daddy ;)

Oh and Jerry dude you really need to chill bro, we all make mistakes time to move on dot org mang
 
MaggieD said:
Do you talk to them about the consequences of unprotected sex? Discuss the ramifications of an 18-year child support order on their lives? Tell them that some women (girls) will mislead them about the protection they themselves are using? Explain to them how their lives will be irrevocably changed if they get a girl pregnant? Really walk them through the consequences? Discuss protection with them? Give them condoms? How far do you go to protect your son from the burden of an unwanted pregnancy?

Poll up in a minute.
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What about moms? :mrgreen:
 
ChrisL said:
What about moms? :mrgreen:
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Well, I was a single mom with a boy and a girl. I didn't wait for the schools to do MY job. Toughest talk was the first with my son--he awakened after his first nocturnal emission screaming and thinking there was something wrong. So there I was leaning over the bunk bed using the medical term I just used and assuring him that the woody was totally normal. After that, it was pretty easy, at least with him. :mrgreen:
 
nota bene said:
Well, I was a single mom with a boy and a girl. I didn't wait for the schools to do MY job. Toughest talk was the first with my son--he awakened after his first nocturnal emission screaming and thinking there was something wrong. So there I was leaning over the bunk bed using the medical term I just used and assuring him that the woody was totally normal. After that, it was pretty easy, at least with him. :mrgreen:
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:lol: Cute story! I also had the talk with my son. I would just mention things casually to him when he was quite young. When something came up on television or something, I would take that opportunity to bring it up. When he was around 13, I sat him down and talked with him about using protection and about only having sex with someone because he felt that they were a special person, and about girls, etc.

So far so good, he is going on 18 and no babies and no STDs.
 
Just yesterday I took my son aside and had the talk about birth control with him. I thought it was going well until he **** his pants and said "Dada, change diaper?"

I'm thinking 2 is just a tad too early for this talk.
 
ChrisL said:
:lol: Cute story! I also had the talk with my son. I would just mention things casually to him when he was quite young. When something came up on television or something, I would take that opportunity to bring it up. When he was around 13, I sat him down and talked with him about using protection and about only having sex with someone because he felt that they were a special person, and about girls, etc.

So far so good, he is going on 18 and no babies and no STDs.
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Ya, I used little opportunities too. And my kids grew up in the country, so the biology stuff didn't require much explanation. But I remember when he found my box of tampons in MY bathroom and snickered to his sister and me. (Just FYI, the graphics had really, really changed since the last time I'd actually read the instructions. OMG!)

That sparked a refreshingly frank and lengthy discussion on the glorious mysteries of women's bodies. :twisted:

Actually, now that I'm recalling this and seeing again that smug smirk on his face, it all pisses me off all over again!
 
nota bene said:
Ya, I used little opportunities too. And my kids grew up in the country, so the biology stuff didn't require much explanation. But I remember when he found my box of tampons in MY bathroom and snickered to his sister and me. (Just FYI, the graphics had really, really changed since the last time I'd actually read the instructions. OMG!)

That sparked a refreshingly frank and lengthy discussion on the glorious mysteries of women's bodies. :twisted:

Actually, now that I'm recalling this and seeing again that smug smirk on his face, it all pisses me off all over again!
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:rofl That's hilarious. Was he still laughing after your talk. My son always looked at me as if he was horrified. Lol!
 
Tucker Case said:
Just yesterday I took my son aside and had the talk about birth control with him. I thought it was going well until he **** his pants and said "Dada, change diaper?"

I'm thinking 2 is just a tad too early for this talk.
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Lol! They say you can never start having talks too young!
 
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