Crossposting an anonymous story

[Deuce]

From a social media site with a throwaway account, using the "Confession Bear" meme. Not my story, but I thought it's worth talking about.

He had literally zero documentation for what should be done after his death and his file system was chaotic, so as the "currently out of work" sibling I took on being appointed as the administrator for his estate. It's been a slog tracking down everything, making interminable calls, and trying to do the best that I can without a lawyer, but it's going. I've found (and have even been able to distribute a portion to myself and my siblings) money from some inherited investments. It isn't a huge amount - it would have quickly been burned through by assisted care or prolonged medical treatment (US) - but even the portion that's already been distributed has allowed one sibling to buy a new-sed (but reliable) car and put money down on an inexpensive house and has allowed the other to pay off an amount of student debt that might have otherwise been crushing. We'd found my father several days post-death. No autopsy was conducted - he had a history of medicated heart disease, a long history of heavy smoking, and a number of other problems, so it was ruled a myocardial infarction after consultation with his doctor. Some of the bills that I've unearthed (and payed with estate funds) seem to show that he had a preliminary examination indicating oral and throat cancer. I'd also found two full bottles of his heart medication. The way the dates lined up, it really seems like he just stopped taking it a few weeks before his death (around the last time I'd seen him - when I'd made him a steak dinner for Father's Day). He may have done it to spare himself suffering, but something in my gut keeps saying that he committed a soft (and unconfirmable) suicide so he could leave us something. I have no intention of telling my siblings my suspicions. One's already eaten up by the fact that they hadn't seen him for over a year before his death and has lashed out in some less-than-healthy ways, and the lives of both have objectively been materially improved since his death. They don't need the burden of guilt that I think they both would feel.

In short, this person thinks their father committed a sort of soft suicide by not taking their medication, so they would die in a way that doesn't burden their children. They wanted to pass along something to their children without all of it being swallowed up by medical debt in the final years of life.

Ours is the only system where a man makes a choice like this.

 

[trixare4kids]

From a social media site with a throwaway account, using the "Confession Bear" meme. Not my story, but I thought it's worth talking about.



In short, this person thinks their father committed a sort of soft suicide by not taking their medication, so they would die in a way that doesn't burden their children. They wanted to pass along something to their children without all of it being swallowed up by medical debt in the final years of life.

Ours is the only system where a man makes a choice like this.

Jumping to your own negative conclusions, aren't you? Obviously, the man was in a state of serious physical/mental decline, and you conclude it's because our "system" forced him to stop taking his meds?

 

[mrjurrs]

From a social media site with a throwaway account, using the "Confession Bear" meme. Not my story, but I thought it's worth talking about.



In short, this person thinks their father committed a sort of soft suicide by not taking their medication, so they would die in a way that doesn't burden their children. They wanted to pass along something to their children without all of it being swallowed up by medical debt in the final years of life.

Ours is the only system where a man makes a choice like this.

This is not an unusual occurrence. I highly recommend 'Being Mortal' by Atul Gawande MD. We're all going to die someday, for some of us that day may be tomorrow. I found his book really enlightening on steps healthy people can take to prepare (not financially) themselves and their families for that day.

 

[AmNat]

From a social media site with a throwaway account, using the "Confession Bear" meme. Not my story, but I thought it's worth talking about.



In short, this person thinks their father committed a sort of soft suicide by not taking their medication, so they would die in a way that doesn't burden their children. They wanted to pass along something to their children without all of it being swallowed up by medical debt in the final years of life.

Ours is the only system where a man makes a choice like this.

You’d prefer the taxpayers pay for his elder care so that his children can get a nice inheritance?

Should people who care for their parents themselves also get a taxpayer funded inheritance?

 

[Deuce]

Jumping to your own negative conclusions, aren't you? Obviously, the man was in a state of serious physical/mental decline, and you conclude it's because our "system" forced him to stop taking his meds?

The conclusion was not mine. It is what the child concluded.

The system didn't force him to stop taking his meds and die. It motivated him to.

Ours is the only first world nation where an illness causes this sort of financial ruin to the point where people literally choose death instead.

 

[Deuce]

You’d prefer the taxpayers pay for his elder care so that his children can get a nice inheritance?

Should people who care for their parents themselves also get a taxpayer funded inheritance?

The system I support wouldn't be saddling any family with massive medical debt, so I'm not sure how you are drawing two different groups from this. Do you think universal healthcare is only for democrats or something? Maybe you should look up "universal" in a dictionary.

 

[AmNat]

The system I support wouldn't be saddling any family with massive medical debt, so I'm not sure how you are drawing two different groups from this. Do you think universal healthcare is only for democrats or something? Maybe you should look up "universal" in a dictionary.

Let’s say you get your wish and institutional elder care is made free of charge. Should people who take care of their own parents (i.e. who elect not to have the taxpayers pay others to do it) get a credit? Or will they just be suckers?

 

[trixare4kids]

The conclusion was not mine. It is what the child concluded.

The system didn't force him to stop taking his meds and die. It motivated him to.

Ours is the only first world nation where an illness causes this sort of financial ruin to the point where people literally choose death instead.

You don't know that.
There is nothing wrong with Medicare to which this senior citizen was entitled to use, and if he wanted more, he could have gone a step further, and obtained an inexpensive Medigap plan to pick up what Medicare didn't cover. This man wasn't destitute. He left inheritance for his children. He could have still done that while insured with Medicare and a supplemental plan.

You have an obvious ax to grind with our health care system, and that's why you're projecting your own feelings/experiences onto the gentleman in the article.

 

[Checkerboard Strangler]

From a social media site with a throwaway account, using the "Confession Bear" meme. Not my story, but I thought it's worth talking about.



In short, this person thinks their father committed a sort of soft suicide by not taking their medication, so they would die in a way that doesn't burden their children. They wanted to pass along something to their children without all of it being swallowed up by medical debt in the final years of life.

Ours is the only system where a man makes a choice like this.

I might not have a "huge" amount to leave to the wife and kids but it's something that can do some good.
And to that effect I've already left a detailed roadmap and a will.
That "roadmap" includes instructions for locating the computer hard drives that are stored away, what's in the folders and how to utilize them, digital "keys" to my retail media product backups, a list of contractors that service my media product needs, details on how to operate the "store", and all the details and deeds to my real estate holdings.

I don't want my loved ones to have to deal with probate and I don't want fifty years of television and film history loved by the world to just disappear and wind up in a landfill, because most of what I own the rights to almost DID wind up in a landfill had it not been dropped in my lap thirty years ago.

It's not like I own the media assets of Rhino Records, but let it suffice Rhino has been after me for twenty years, they just haven't mustered up an offer I couldn't refuse yet. And if they DO, at least my family and loved ones will be able to have access to "the goods" to make a deal with them if that day ever comes.

 

[Deuce]

Let’s say you get your wish and institutional elder care is made free of charge. Should people who take care of their own parents (i.e. who elect not to have the taxpayers pay others to do it) get a credit? Or will they just be suckers?

It's not "institutional elder care." It's universal healthcare.

Try again based on the actual conversation.

 

[AmNat]

It's not "institutional elder care." It's universal healthcare.

Try again based on the actual conversation.

The OP specifically mentioned "assisted care".

 

[Deuce]

The OP specifically mentioned "assisted care".

You missed the forest for the trees. The issue is medical costs in general. Did you miss that?

 

[AmNat]

You missed the forest for the trees. The issue is medical costs in general. Did you miss that?

Yes. Somehow I got it in my head that care costs were the issue in this story. I reread it and that obviously wasn't the point. My bad.

 

[aociswundumho]

They wanted to pass along something to their children without all of it being swallowed up by medical debt in the final years of life.

Medical debt owed to a US hospital, not to a health insurance company. Yet progressives never direct their ire toward the hospitals.

Ours is the only system where a man makes a choice like this.

The provision of healthcare in the US is highly regulated capitalism, something people like you generally support.

 

[Deuce]

Medical debt owed to a US hospital, not to a health insurance company. Yet progressives never direct their ire toward the hospitals.

1) Yes we do.
2) Who cares?

The provision of healthcare in the US is highly regulated capitalism, something people like you generally support.

For healthcare, it's clearly failing.

It's because healthcare is fundamentally not a free market and never can be. To put it in Econ 101 terms, the demand curve for continuing to live is infinitely steep.