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Christian Broadcasting Network Warns Against 'Demonic' Halloween Candy

The Giant Noodle

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Ah! Yes! We should have known the witches were praying over our candy when we ate too much and their demons made us ill :blink::2sick1:


Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network posted a blog by Kimberly Daniels recently that warns Christians to forgo celebrating Halloween because of its evilness. Daniels specifically calls out candy as a source of soul-molestation:
"During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."
Obviously, we shouldn't be buying Halloween candy, but what about getting it by trick-or-treating?
"Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."​
Darn.
We wholeheartedly agree with Daniels and have put together a handy guide of outrageously demonic candy to stay away from this (and every) season.

Click link to see the slideshow http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/1...E%3D&slideshow
 

theangryamerican

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So... do the demons have an expiration date?

Can I by the candy at discount prices AFTER Halloween?

If not, how do I know when all the Halloween candy has been sold out and new, uncursed merchandise has been brought in?
 

Coronado

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Where do they come up with this crap? :lamo

This reminds me of when I used to get Jack Chick tracts when I went out trick-or-treating. Do ko0ks still hand those ridiculous little books out?
 

tryreading

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Ah! Yes! We should have known the witches were praying over our candy when we ate too much and their demons made us ill :blink::2sick1:


Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network posted a blog by Kimberly Daniels recently that warns Christians to forgo celebrating Halloween because of its evilness. Daniels specifically calls out candy as a source of soul-molestation:
"During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."
Obviously, we shouldn't be buying Halloween candy, but what about getting it by trick-or-treating?
"Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."​
Darn.
We wholeheartedly agree with Daniels and have put together a handy guide of outrageously demonic candy to stay away from this (and every) season.

Click link to see the slideshow http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/1...E%3D&slideshow

It's actually Pat himself we should be worried about. Remember a few years ago when he said something about a hurricane and the city of New Orleans? That was a hell of a curse. I'm not scared of witches when there's this demon nebbish destroying real estate and killing hundreds and hundreds of people.

I'm thinking Pat probably caused that recent oil gusher too, because of where most of the oil went. He's a bad dude.
 

The Giant Noodle

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Where do they come up with this crap? :lamo

This reminds me of when I used to get Jack Chick tracts when I went out trick-or-treating. Do ko0ks still hand those ridiculous little books out?

Yup! Even when I was a Born Again Xian I tossed those things out. I had someone ask me to hand out a stack and I accepted... then tossed the stack in the trash. Those things make Christianity look like a freakin kooky joke and I didnt want to hurt my own religion.
 

Coronado

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Yup! Even when I was a Born Again Xian I tossed those things out. I had someone ask me to hand out a stack and I accepted... then tossed the stack in the trash. Those things make Christianity look like a freakin kooky joke and I didnt want to hurt my own religion.
This one's my favorite:


:lamo
 

danarhea

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Ah! Yes! We should have known the witches were praying over our candy when we ate too much and their demons made us ill :blink::2sick1:


Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network posted a blog by Kimberly Daniels recently that warns Christians to forgo celebrating Halloween because of its evilness. Daniels specifically calls out candy as a source of soul-molestation:
"During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."
Obviously, we shouldn't be buying Halloween candy, but what about getting it by trick-or-treating?
"Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."​
Darn.
We wholeheartedly agree with Daniels and have put together a handy guide of outrageously demonic candy to stay away from this (and every) season.

Click link to see the slideshow http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/1...E%3D&slideshow

yes, let's get rid of that demonic halloween candy, but don't forget to keep the pagan Easter baskets, which celebrate Wiccan fertility, and of course, pagan Santa Claus must stay too.

What a friggen' two-faced, dishonest hypocrite. Want to know more about Pat Robertson? Read this entry from my blog, then tell me if you REALLY believe he represents Christianity. Robertson represents Christians like the Mullahs in Iran represent Muslims. He is pure poison to the word of God.
 
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rivrrat

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So... do the demons have an expiration date?

Can I by the candy at discount prices AFTER Halloween?

If not, how do I know when all the Halloween candy has been sold out and new, uncursed merchandise has been brought in?

The halloween candy is orange and black. That's how you know which ones the cursed pieces are.
 

tacomancer

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The halloween candy is orange and black. That's how you know which ones the cursed pieces are.

The ones not wrapped in jack chick tracts.
 

jamesrage

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Ah! Yes! We should have known the witches were praying over our candy when we ate too much and their demons made us ill :blink::2sick1:


Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network posted a blog by Kimberly Daniels recently that warns Christians to forgo celebrating Halloween because of its evilness. Daniels specifically calls out candy as a source of soul-molestation:
"During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."
Obviously, we shouldn't be buying Halloween candy, but what about getting it by trick-or-treating?
"Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."​
Darn.
We wholeheartedly agree with Daniels and have put together a handy guide of outrageously demonic candy to stay away from this (and every) season.

Click link to see the slideshow http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/1...E%3D&slideshow

Churches usually do speak out against Halloween and try to discourage parents from letting their kids go trick or treating. This is nothing new. Sometimes these churches have whats called a Hallelujah party which is a lame ass christian attempt of providing alternative to trick or treating. In these hallelujah parties the kids dress as historical figures(if you are a real christian then the bible is basically history book) from the bible, they play carnival or fair type games for prizes, have cake walks, they might even rent one of those big inflatable trampoline things that kids jump in, have hot dogs and when all is said the done the kids usually have a bag full of candy. Personally I just think it is hypocritical of these churches to speak out against celebrating Halloween and then turn around and basically have a counter celebration.
 

Harry Guerrilla

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Churches usually do speak out against Halloween and try to discourage parents from letting their kids go trick or treating. This is nothing new. Sometimes these churches have whats called a Hallelujah party which is a lame ass christian attempt of providing alternative to trick or treating. In these hallelujah parties the kids dress as historical figures(if you are a real christian then the bible is basically history book) from the bible, they play carnival or fair type games for prizes, have cake walks, they might even rent one of those big inflatable trampoline things that kids jump in, have hot dogs and when all is said the done the kids usually have a bag full of candy. Personally I just think it is hypocritical of these churches to speak out against celebrating Halloween and then turn around and basically have a counter celebration.

People take **** way to seriously.
How many kids have a good ole wholesome time every Halloween and never get into trouble.
Most kids.

Not to mention that there are many Christians who don't believe in a hell.
Depending on how you look at it, the belief in hell could be blasphemous on it's own.
 

Goshin

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On behalf of the vast majority of Christians, I apologize about Pat. We'll have a word or two with him.... again.... :doh:
 

rivrrat

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On behalf of the vast majority of Christians, I apologize about Pat. We'll have a word or two with him.... again.... :doh:

I suggest using a gun this time to get your point across. ;)
 

Kali

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I need a job doing that:2razz:
 

Kali

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Where do they come up with this crap? :lamo

This reminds me of when I used to get Jack Chick tracts when I went out trick-or-treating. Do ko0ks still hand those ridiculous little books out?

OMG! I am trying to figure out what is worse Jack Chick tracts or the nutty dentist that hand out toothbrushes:)

Kooky Tracts win in my mind though.
 

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Inanimate and/or non-sentient objects are incapable of evil.
Only mankind is capable of evil...
 

Vader

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Ah! Yes! We should have known the witches were praying over our candy when we ate too much and their demons made us ill :blink::2sick1:


Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network posted a blog by Kimberly Daniels recently that warns Christians to forgo celebrating Halloween because of its evilness. Daniels specifically calls out candy as a source of soul-molestation:
"During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."
Obviously, we shouldn't be buying Halloween candy, but what about getting it by trick-or-treating?
"Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."​
Darn.
We wholeheartedly agree with Daniels and have put together a handy guide of outrageously demonic candy to stay away from this (and every) season.

Click link to see the slideshow http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/1...E%3D&slideshow

Pat Robertson is a lunatic who belongs in a padded cell. He and is network of Christian facist zealots can **** off.
 

tacomancer

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images
 
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The Giant Noodle

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yes, let's get rid of that demonic halloween candy, but don't forget to keep the pagan Easter baskets, which celebrate Wiccan fertility, and of course, pagan Santa Claus must stay too.

What a friggen' two-faced, dishonest hypocrite. Want to know more about Pat Robertson? Read this entry from my blog, then tell me if you REALLY believe he represents Christianity. Robertson represents Christians like the Mullahs in Iran represent Muslims. He is pure poison to the word of God.

Actually they dont keep any of that crap. No Santa and no eggs without it having a Biblical tie-in.
 

The Giant Noodle

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Churches usually do speak out against Halloween and try to discourage parents from letting their kids go trick or treating. This is nothing new. Sometimes these churches have whats called a Hallelujah party which is a lame ass christian attempt of providing alternative to trick or treating. In these hallelujah parties the kids dress as historical figures(if you are a real christian then the bible is basically history book) from the bible, they play carnival or fair type games for prizes, have cake walks, they might even rent one of those big inflatable trampoline things that kids jump in, have hot dogs and when all is said the done the kids usually have a bag full of candy. Personally I just think it is hypocritical of these churches to speak out against celebrating Halloween and then turn around and basically have a counter celebration.

Well the point is there are NO demonic influences in their parties. No magic, no supernatural stuff. Just basic fun. ;)
 

jamesrage

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On behalf of the vast majority of Christians, I apologize about Pat. We'll have a word or two with him.... again.... :doh:

Why apologize for Robertson? The man is a televangelist. In other words he makes his money conning it out of believers to blind to see him for what he is. No christian should ever apologize for what that man says.
 

UtahBill

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Why apologize for Robertson? The man is a televangelist. In other words he makes his money conning it out of believers to blind to see him for what he is. No christian should ever apologize for what that man says.

Sorry, but it has to be said....Old Pat is the forerunner of the Conservative Talk Show, conning the gullible far right who are too blind to see Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, et al, for what they are. No republican should ever have to apologize for what these clowns say...
 

Orion

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Halloween is my New Year, so bring on the tasty treats. :D
 
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When I was small my mother took the family to one of those "Jesusween" nights at a church on the crazier side of Protestantism. Not a fun experience. As much fun as singing hymns, praying, and throwing darts at the Prince of Darkness is, I preferred trick-or-treating.
 
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