Joe51
Member
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2012
- Messages
- 216
- Reaction score
- 63
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Independent
I feel in a moral dilemma, so I thought strangers on the internet might provide me some perspective. Though it's a long story, I will try my best to keep it brief. Thanks to all who read and comment.
My ex and I divorced 3 years ago after 12 years of marriage. She developed a drinking problem, and had an affair. I am hard to live with and stubborn.
Initial custody for our children was setup as joint custody no support. Then she let her drinking problem get the best of her, and put the children in a bad situation. I filed for emergency custody, and was eventually granted sole custody. Still no support was awarded.
I've been telling her about co-pays, dentist appointments, prescriptions, etc. that kids need, and I buy. She never helped out once, and even chastised me for only contacting her when I need money. So, I went through my state agency and sued for child support. I easily make twice what she does every month, and she barely makes enough to keep her lights on. Even still, I felt like she should have some responsibility to the kids. I didn't expect much. I was just hoping to compel her to pay at least part of the expenses for the kids.
Apparently the judge agreed that she needed to be responsible. He awarded me a full third of every paycheck she gets, back payment till the time I took sole custody, and all court costs.
Now that the back story is out there - here is my dilemma. I could get by completely without her help. It's really only a quality of life issue. We are going to have a better life if she was helping out. Apparently the purpose of child support is to maintain the kids quality of life they would have had if the parents had never split up. I like that plan, but in doing so, I know I am putting their mom in a really tough position financially. She's going to have to make some real sacrifices and/or changes to meet her obligations now and still be able to live.
So what are the thoughts of the community? Make her pay? Back off? What would you do?
My ex and I divorced 3 years ago after 12 years of marriage. She developed a drinking problem, and had an affair. I am hard to live with and stubborn.
Initial custody for our children was setup as joint custody no support. Then she let her drinking problem get the best of her, and put the children in a bad situation. I filed for emergency custody, and was eventually granted sole custody. Still no support was awarded.
I've been telling her about co-pays, dentist appointments, prescriptions, etc. that kids need, and I buy. She never helped out once, and even chastised me for only contacting her when I need money. So, I went through my state agency and sued for child support. I easily make twice what she does every month, and she barely makes enough to keep her lights on. Even still, I felt like she should have some responsibility to the kids. I didn't expect much. I was just hoping to compel her to pay at least part of the expenses for the kids.
Apparently the judge agreed that she needed to be responsible. He awarded me a full third of every paycheck she gets, back payment till the time I took sole custody, and all court costs.
Now that the back story is out there - here is my dilemma. I could get by completely without her help. It's really only a quality of life issue. We are going to have a better life if she was helping out. Apparently the purpose of child support is to maintain the kids quality of life they would have had if the parents had never split up. I like that plan, but in doing so, I know I am putting their mom in a really tough position financially. She's going to have to make some real sacrifices and/or changes to meet her obligations now and still be able to live.
So what are the thoughts of the community? Make her pay? Back off? What would you do?