I've got to make some corrections. You're giving the bordeline metros and out.
1. You just can't walk past a Banana Republic store without making a
1. You know what and/or where a Banana Republic is.
2. You own 20 pairs of shoes, half a dozen pairs of sunglasses, just as many
watches and you carry a man-purse.
There's no legitimate reason to have more than 3 or 4 types of shoes (notice: types
of shoes. You can't own more than one type of the same shoe.) For example, it is acceptable to own one pair of dress shoes, one pair gym shooes, and one pair of work boots. If you are married, the odds are good that your wife has bought you flip flops. If they cost less than $15, these are acceptable, but only wear them sparingly.
Mo more than one pair of sunglasses and watch is acceptbale. Man purses are grounds for instantaneous revocation of testicles.
3. You see a stylist instead of a barber, because barbers don't do
An acceptable alternative is going to the closest place to work or home that offers $10-$12 haircuts.
4. You can make her lamb shanks and risotto for dinner and Eggs Benedict for
breakfast... all from scratch.
Exception made if you are a professional chef
5. You only wear Calvin Klein boxer-briefs.
No correction needed.
6. You shave more than just your face. You also exfoliate and moisturize.
This can just be boiled down to knowing how one would even go about exfoliating.
7. You would never, ever own a pickup truck.
Again, no correction needed.
8. You can't imagine a day without hair styling products.
This can be simplified to "If you have ever use the term "hairstlying products'"
9. You'd rather drink wine than beer... but you'll find out what estate and
No correction needed.
10. You use more than three words when ordering your Starbuck's
You go to starbucks instead of 7-11 or Dunkin' Donuts.
11. You put on cologne to go to the gym
Exception made if this is done as part of an Irish Shower (which is when you don't feel like taking a shower for a couple of days so you just put on some deodorant and cologne instead)
12. You have panic attacks
Exceptions to this rule: If the panic attacks are induced when hearing the terms "I'm Pregnant", "I do", and "What are you thinking about?" These terms are all realted to female-derived traps, and full blown panic is the only acceptable response.
13. You take more than two, that's two, minutes to fix your hair
And two minutes is pushing it.
14. You must have Evian and only Evian for hydration
If you ever drink bottled water at home.