Dear Dr. Needlman,
Our four-month-old son is very attached to his pacifier. He sucks it all night long. When he loses it at night, he screams until we put it back into his mouth. We tried not to give him the pacifier when we put him to bed, but he cried for two hours. We went in every 15 minutes to calm him, to no avail. How can we wean him of this terrible habit? — Guilty Mom in Portland, ME
Dear Guilty Mom,
Babies suck for two reasons: nutrition and comfort. Even in the uterus, where all their nutritional needs are taken care of, many babies suck on their hands or lips. Newborns often discover how to put their hands to their mouths so they can suck on their fingers or fist. As they suck, their bodies relax.
Pacifiers are fine, but as you've discovered, they have a major drawback: If a child loses his binky, he can only cry until someone finds it for him. Often enough, this is the middle of the night, and that "someone" is a tired parent!
So, I think the issue is less how can you stop your baby from sucking (which is a natural, healthy, self-soothing activity), and more how you can help him find his pacifier without your help. Some parents attach the pacifier via a metal clip and a short ribbon to the collar of their baby's sleeper. If you do this, be certain that the ribbon is short enough so that there is no risk of it getting wrapped around the baby's neck, leading to strangulation.
If you're not comfortable with this, you can simply remove the pacifier. This will probably make for a couple of unhappy nights for everyone, but then your child should be able to adjust. If you do this, though, make sure to leave his hands uncovered (no mittens or sleepers with hand covers) so that he can suck them for self-comforting.
— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
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