Born a boy, 8 year old allowed to live as a girl

[americanwoman]

Young Boy To Publicly Live Life As Girl - Omaha- msnbc.com

OMAHA, Neb. - KETV.com

An Omaha couple is allowing their 8-year-old son to openly live life as a girl. It’s a decision that means the child is no longer invited to attend Catholic school.

Therapists and the child’s parents say the second grade student is transgender, a medical condition where a person’s inner sense of identity doesn’t match their biological gender. Some gender experts say as many as one in 500 people may be transgender or carry significant traits of the opposite sex.

“It’s kind of like you’re trapped somewhere and you can’t get out,” said the child, whose name and face are not being made public to protect the family from potential harm.

“She’s been a girl since the beginning, everything about her, the way she dances and skips around and the things she’s attracted to. It’s more than toys and clothes,” said the child’s mother.

The mother said the child has consistently asked to be called a girl since she was 4 years old.

“One night, she said ‘Every night when I go to bed, I pray my inside will match my outside. But it never happens,'" the mother said, recalling the words of her middle child.
“The child is welcomed to come, but it would not be acceptable to change the child’s gender and present as a girl,” said Omaha Archdiocese Chancellor, the Rev. Joseph Taphorn.

Taphorn said having the child attend the school for three years as a boy, and then presenting as a girl would not be a good learning environment for the child or other students. He said school has to be a peaceful, positive environment for everyone.

The child will attend a public school in the fall, using her chosen name and wearing a ponytail in her hair.

Right decision?

Discuss.

 

[alexa]

This is certainly an interesting one because the one thing which I know I am uncertain of is gender change. No doubt that is partly me because I believe I could have been happy as a boy or a girl.

My daughter however seems to really understand this and cannot imagine anything worse that having a male body!!

Without knowing the whole background of the child, how s/he has been treated, what kind of influences s/he has experienced, it is difficult to know.

However children will find out and I think that will be very hard because I cannot imagine s/he will go without teasing.

 

[ReverendHellh0und]

So do we let this 8 year old boy change with the girls or the boys here?

 

[kjyoung]

I don't believe that anyone can say this decision is "right" or "wrong". After going through a rather interesting divorce with a teenager only a couple years from being 18 and listening to the court's opinions on what is "in the best interest of the child", I tend to feel there are too many groups and agencies who believe they know what's best and disregard the people closest to the situations...the parents and children themselves.

Having said that, I agree that as this child gets older there is the potential/likelihood that a gross amount of teasing and harrassment will take place amongst the peers at school. However, that will continue even into and through adulthood, so I think it would be more appropriate for the child to learn how to manage this sort of behavior than attempt to guard against it. Kids tend to be cruel, but that cruelty certainly doesn't end at the age of 18. Also, being concerned about who the child changes with at this age seems silly. Maybe our school system in WI is different than others, but children don't begin changing and showering after gym class until middle/high school grades. At the age of 8, I highly doubt this will come up for a few years. As for the restroom, I believe that could be managed as well. I think much will come down to how willing the adult administration within the school is to work with the needs of this child.

-k

 

[Mira]

she has been refused to continue to attend her private school and will go to public school as a girl, it's a good decision.

I would have changed schools also in order to avoid my child to be a victim of mockery. But will the child be able to keep quiet about her being a boy at the new school ? Because if she ever mentions it to even one student, she'll have the same problems that she would have had at the previous school.

Personally, I think that children must be taught to respect and not to mock anyone who is different, be it because of race, body shape, handicap etc.. etc.. and of course transgenders, but we're far from being there yet. I know how cruel kids could be.

 

[americanwoman]

I would have changed schools also in order to avoid my child to be a victim of mockery. But will the child be able to keep quiet about her being a boy at the new school ? Because if she ever mentions it to even one student, she'll have the same problems that she would have had at the previous school.
.

She most likely will. I live in Omaha and it's been all over the news.

 

[Arcana XV]

Right decision?

Discuss.

I think it is the right decision. I view this in the same way I would view dealing with a child who identifies as gay. What else is there to do but to accept it and try to make their young life as normal as possible? Trying to force that little person into something she/he's not would be as counterproductive and damaging as to try and turn a gay youngster straight.

 

[Mira]

She most likely will. I live in Omaha and it's been all over the news.

Yeah, I'm afraid that she will too. In that case she should have been accepted at her previous school and protected. But at the same time I can understand the Rev. fearing that it will have a shocking impact on the other kids to see last year's boy as a girl the next year and cause a riot.

Hmmm, tough one

 

[Mira]

I think it is the right decision. I view this in the same way I would view dealing with a child who identifies as gay. What else is there to do but to accept it and try to make their young life as normal as possible? Trying to force that little person into something she/he's not would be as counterproductive and damaging as to try and turn a gay youngster straight.

I don't think that we can compare being gay with being transgender though Arcana. Of course parents are expected to love and to protect their kids regardless of their sexual orientation, but this is a problem with other kids respecting or not the change of the outer appearance of a girl trapped in a boy's body.

 

[aps]

CNN has a video of an interview with the mother and the "daughter." It's unquestionably the right decision. You can hear how much happier the girl is now. You see how the mother (and father) put a lot of thought into deciding what was best for their child. I felt so warmly toward the mother. She didn't act like there was something abnormal in her child, and her child was articulate and aware of her feelings. I think this is a great thing for all involved.

(Man, would this have been tough on me, though.)

 

[Arcana XV]

I don't think that we can compare being gay with being transgender though Arcana. Of course parents are expected to love and to protect their kids regardless of their sexual orientation, but this is a problem with other kids respecting or not the change of the outer appearance of a girl trapped in a boy's body.

I understand that. My thinking was that in both situations the first positive step is to accept the difference and to not try and make the transgendered or gay person into something they are not.

As for the other kids' reactions, of course they'll be confused at first. Unlike many adults, however, it is very easy for them to come to terms and accept new and strange situations as long as the adults around them take the time to explain what's going on. Kids aren't prejudiced for long unless their primal reactions are validated and encouraged. That's been my experience with kids, anyhoo.

 

[Orion]

It's the right decision. Children who exhibit these signs at an early age will fight any kind of opposition. They'll insist they are the other gender. It's good that the Catholic school got rid of her... she would not grow up in a supportive environment if she stayed there as the Church is completely ill equipped to deal with something like that.

She's going to have complications with her identity when she hits puberty and starts developing a more male structure, with secondary sex characteristics like body hair (especially on the face). I don't know the details for what the age limit is on gender reassignment surgery.

 

[americanwoman]

As for the other kids' reactions, of course they'll be confused at first. Unlike many adults, however, it is very easy for them to come to terms and accept new and strange situations as long as the adults around them take the time to explain what's going on..

That's what I worry about. Kids follow their parents lead, so if one parent makes their child think that the girl is a freak, then that kid will treat the girl as such and other kids may follow.

 

[FallingPianos]

It sounds like this child has been showing signs of being transgender for several years and has been in therapy.

As long as the parents are open to the possibility of the child changing her mind (which seems unlikely), I think they are absolutely doing the right thing.

 

[alexa]

I've watched the film. One of the things that concerns me is that the child is using the sort of terms that I would put down to an adult. For instance drawing photos of boy outside and girl inside.

I know you all think it is right. I just am not sure. I have also seem programs where people who have had sex change ops as adults want to change back as adults and they seemed to feel that the counseling sort of drew them into it.

My late Mum said she always wanted to be a boy. Hmm....maybe she was born at the wrong time.

I'm not convinced.

 

[FallingPianos]

I have also seem programs where people who have had sex change ops as adults want to change back as adults and they seemed to feel that the counseling sort of drew them into it.

it happens, but is rare. satisfaction with sex change operations tends to be very high.

besides, we're not talking about any permanent changes to this child.

 

[ReverendHellh0und]

So do we let this 8 year old boy change with the girls or the boys here?

hmm... greath question Reverend.

 

[alexa]

it happens, but is rare. satisfaction with sex change operations tends to be very high.

besides, we're not talking about any permanent changes to this child.

I appreciate that. However this is an enormous step to be taking and will influence his life to an incredible extent. If it is not the correct decision, that will be very detrimental.

I don't know how rare the decision to want to change the sex change is. They found quite a few for the program I watched.

 

[Arcana XV]

hmm... greath question Reverend.

It is a good question. I've been thinking about it and my initial response is to say with the girls, obviously. But then again, is it really that easy?

I hate to bring the gay comparison again, but I'm thinking it would be much like sharing a changing room with a gay man. I don't know too many women who mind that.

 

[Inferno]

So do we let this 8 year old boy change with the girls or the boys here?

If in fact this child is transgendered and suffers from Gender Dysphoria this child is a girl not a boy. It just at this moment in time is wrongly sexed and surgery will correct that.

 

[aps]

hmm... greath question Reverend.

LMAO Talking to yourself again?

Change with the girls.

 

[Inferno]

I've watched the film. One of the things that concerns me is that the child is using the sort of terms that I would put down to an adult. For instance drawing photos of boy outside and girl inside.

I know you all think it is right. I just am not sure. I have also seem programs where people who have had sex change ops as adults want to change back as adults and they seemed to feel that the counseling sort of drew them into it.

My late Mum said she always wanted to be a boy. Hmm....maybe she was born at the wrong time.

I'm not convinced.

If they are actually looking at SRS and HRT for this child then you there is far more to this. If he feels better suited to being a girl I see no harm in letting him live that way. If at the age of consent the desire is still there then go through with SRS and HRT. That would make sense. You don't do a penectomy now. That would be irreversible and if the child is going through something that is causing this you sure want him to be able to get it back.

 

[Inferno]

I understand that. My thinking was that in both situations the first positive step is to accept the difference and to not try and make the transgendered or gay person into something they are not.

As for the other kids' reactions, of course they'll be confused at first. Unlike many adults, however, it is very easy for them to come to terms and accept new and strange situations as long as the adults around them take the time to explain what's going on. Kids aren't prejudiced for long unless their primal reactions are validated and encouraged. That's been my experience with kids, anyhoo.

Transgendered is very different than gay or lesbian. A gay or lesbian is very comfortable in their own skin. They just prefer to share sex with a person of like gender. A transgendered person is in many cases Heterosexual of the opposite gender they are. A male TG is for all purposes a heterosexual woman. That is why after SRS a person can marry legally in every state.

 

[alexa]

If they are actually looking at SRS and HRT for this child then you there is far more to this. If he feels better suited to being a girl I see no harm in letting him live that way. If at the age of consent the desire is still there then go through with SRS and HRT. That would make sense. You don't do a penectomy now. That would be irreversible and if the child is going through something that is causing this you sure want him to be able to get it back.

Well what is best I cannot know because I cannot be a fly on the wall into the past of the child.

I would want what was best for him. I just feel some concern that this could have been caused by adults interpreting his behaviour in this way. I for instance was well fed up when I did not grow a willy like my brother and even tried peeing standing up to see if that would make it grow. I was always described by my mom as a tom boy and possibly if sex changes had been around at that time my Mum might have seen me as a candidate

My own belief is that if come adolescence he decides he is a boy he will be very screwed up. He is anyway going to have a very unusual upbringing.

At the same time here in the UK, I saw a film about a boy of around 10 who definitely wanted a sex change and had apparently all his life. There were no obvious signs here that this came from anything but his own decision and they were trying to work out how he could get it earlier.

I think I just don't understand why the body you are in is so important to some people. Now being able to be yourself I do understand and if that means being more feminine or more masculine than the cultural norms I don't see any problem with that. I just don't understand the sex change bit. Unless a person's sex is not determined my thinking is make do - now that idea would change if I really thought there was some need for it.

Gay people for instance have always existed...but do we know anything about wasted lives by people not being able to get sex changes?

 

[Arcana XV]

Transgendered is very different than gay or lesbian. A gay or lesbian is very comfortable in their own skin. They just prefer to share sex with a person of like gender. A transgendered person is in many cases Heterosexual of the opposite gender they are. A male TG is for all purposes a heterosexual woman. That is why after SRS a person can marry legally in every state.

Yeah, I guess I'm not expressing myself very well on this.

My concern is more with the way communities responds to both. Both groups have to struggle to be accepted in the mainstream and often face intolerance, ignorance and bigotry. I understand the differences between the two. My point is that some communities often react pretty much in the same negative way to both groups.